Fighting The Disease

One Time Fortune

My eyes widen, but I have no time to be shocked. I spin around and quickly pull out a knife. The man looks up, eyes amused. I grit my teeth and plunge the knife into his neck. He doesn't look amused at that. He looks dead. My hands shake slightly and I can practically hear the crimson droplets hitting the leaves scattered on the forest floor. How long has it been since I killed someone? Not an Infected, but an actual person? The man who tried to steal our supplies roughly 6 weeks ago. He must have been the most recent. I close my eyes in shame, but what else could I have done? Yes, I could have beat the man unconscious, but he would have woken up eventually. I curl my nails into my palm, and grab his feet. He's tall, but like all the survivors, he's skinny. I use all my muscle possible to drag him in the opposite direction I'll lead Ace tomorrow. He won't ever need to know. The blood on my hands is just that-mine.

I take about ten minutes, but it feels like an hour. My head is telling me I'm too loud, but I can't stop. Sunrise is soon. And even though I hate the daytime, it is a hell of a lot warmer, and, Ace has an internal alarm clock embedded in his brain. He said that's what University does to you. Not like I would, or ever will, know that first hand. I spot a particularly wide tree, and pull the man towards there. My breathing is loud. I'm not even trying to conceal it anymore. My arms are aching with dull throbs, and I end up letting go of him a meter away from the tree, giving up. I look behind me to see the faintest rays of pink and orange. I jog towards the camp. Once I reach it, I place my hands on a tree, and start letting myself really breath in hopes that my breath will be under control by the time Ace wakes up. And that's when I notice the blood caked onto my hands. I gasp. This would be a dead giveaway. I look at the water bottle I dropped off on the ground. Would I really be desperate enough to use it to wash my hands so Ace doesn't know? But when my mouth starts salivating just thinking about water, I accept the fact that I won't do it.

I scratch my hands, but that doesn't help. Once blood is on your hands, it's almost impossible to remove. What an unintentionally metaphorical statement. I pull the sleeves of my ripped long sleeve down and hope for the best when I hear stirring inside the tent. I walk over carefully.

"Ace?" I try to stop my voice from shaking.
"What," he groans impatiently. I manage the smallest of smiles, and then grab a stick. I use it to poke him through the tent.
"Get out, we are moving base. Today." He's silent after I say that. Almost as if that was the phrase that snapped him back into reality. Like he thought this is all just a nightmare, only to find out that it's reality. And that happens every time I announce what we're going to do. And every time and I hate myself for it.
"OK," he says quietly, but loud enough for me to hear. I start gathering all the supplies into the three duffel bags we have. By the time Ace gets up, three quarters of the camp is packed, and I scowl at him, my sympathy slowly draining, along with my patience. He then motions for me to sit on the log with his arm, and I do so. He packs the rest. Soon enough, it looks as if we weren't here. I even take the per caution of spreading the leaves where the tent was to rid of the rectangular difference in level.
"Where are we headed?" I smile wide, glad his back is turned.
"Trust me," I answer, and he doesn't ask any questions. He grabs two duffel bags while I grab one. I would've grabbed two but I'm the best with fighting, and I need either a knife or machete with me at all times. I starts moving, and while he cocks an eyebrow as I pass him, he follows without question. I start moving down the path. I don't waste time gazing around trees. I saw this all yesterday night. I've learned to listen with my eyes and my hands and my nose, not just my ears. I guess that's what survival does to you.
"When is your time of the month," Ace blurts out. I feel my face turn amused as I chuckle lightly, but when I look back, he's serious.
"Ace, for the millionth time, I don't get it! It stops with stress and-"
"You're stressed? About what?"
"Well in case you haven't noticed, we are fighting for survival. Maybe that has something to do with it," I say in an icy tone, and he promptly shuts his mouth. We continue the walk in silence.

Soon enough, Ace says he can hear rushing water. I pretend to be surprised, but my excitement was very real. Within a few minutes, we reach the stream. Instead of rushing towards the river, me and Ace look at each other, and with a nod we quickly crouch behind trees. Once both of us signal our area clear, we walk cautiously towards the water.
"The cave," I mutter underneath my breath as I stare at the waterfall.
"What did you say?" Shit...
"You should check if there's a cave behind the waterfall," I say smoothly, mentally priding myself for being such a fluent liar.
"You're right!" And with that, he jogs off. Within half a minute, I'm nearly knocked over as he grabs my arm and pulls me towards it.
"You were right! There is a cave!" He whispers but he might as well be shouting because he is so excited he can't hear how loud he is. I see him smile, and for a second, it's like we're kids again. Giggling and laughing and happy. And that's when his falls to mine accidentally, and he feels the crusted blood. The moment shatters into a million pieces, then disappears as he closes his eyes and sighs at what I am. About who I've become.