She'll Bring You Home

Chapter 8, "thoughts"

TW // Intrusive thoughts, flashback, mild panic attack. Be safe, my friends!!//

Oliver's POV:

I was ecstatic. She was actually going to let me stay in her home. Don't think you deserve this. What the fuck was that?! I don't! I would never think I deserve something I don't. You know you're thinking that you finally deserve a home. Stop. Right now. It's not like she'd ever keep you, anyways you brat. I know. It's not like I'm staying for more than 2 nights, or anything.

I walk close behind JJ after getting out of the van. My chest was constricting more and more with each breath. No one seems to notice though, which I am very thankful for. I don't need extra questions while I'm trying to keep breathing, ya know? I get pretty disoriented all the sudden, almost falling.

"Oliver, are you okay?" Shit. "Yeah, 'm fine." LIAR. JJ would hate me if she knew I was lying to her. "Oliver, I know you're lying." "Vera, I know you're lying to me. Stop that, you insolent child!"  It all comes flooding back. I can't stop this one. My breathing immediately quickens. "P-please don't-I-I'm sorry-" Expecting some form of corporal punishment, I tense my whole body, preparing to be hit.

JJ's POV:

I look over to Oliver, whom I was going to be taking of for a while. She seemed to be in deep thought, her expression constantly changing. She sways, bumping into me, which is concerning in and of itself. "Oliver, are you okay?" I ask gently. She seems to mentally berate herself before answering. "Yeah, 'm fine." I can tell she wasn't being completely honest. "Oliver, I know you're lying.."

"...P-please don't-I-I'm sorry-"

Well shit. I wasn't expecting this. She tenses up, as though expecting to be hit. "Oliver, buddy. It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you.." Her breathing grows even more uneven and rapid. I sigh, wondering if I should grab another person. I decide against it and kneel down in front of her. "Oliver. You're not there. You're with me, JJ. Can you hear me?" 

"N-no ple-please- I-I don't want-" She starts, but I cut her off. "Oliver." I say firmly. She finally registers me. "...Fiddlesticks-" I chuckled a bit at that. "That was one hell of a panic attack, huh?" I say softly. "Wanna tell me what triggered it so I can avoid it in the future?" She mentally smacks herself again. "Well... you- you said something my-my mom...used to say...to me...and...yeah that's pretty much it-" I give a soft, genuine, smile.

She pulls me into a short lasting hug. We finally board the jet and make our way home.

//411 words dears, thank you so so much for reading!!