The Man Who Ran Off With The Moon - [ Tsukkiyama Art Thief AU! ]

Walk Away

As promised, the wharf was lined with police cars. Red and blue cut through the night, but as they exited the ship, nobody rushed to arrest them. The four were quickly separated for processing, which involved an overwhelming amount of questions and concern.

"Are you hurt anywhere?"
"You were a hostage?"
"Can you describe some of the other stolen work you may have seen in Goda's apartment?"
"You were coerced into the theft?"

Tsukishima was sitting on the curbside, a blanket draped over him, staring glumly up at the pair of officers before him. Stern faces, crisp notepads, clean shoes.
"Where is the Eye of the Moon, currently?"
"Oh. Here", he extracted the stone from his pocket. It didn't look as fantastic now, not like when he had first glimpsed it. All this trouble for one stupid rock. Even if it was the only one of it's kind in the entire world, it was still just another piece of the earth, hardened and compressed by time. He held it out to them, unceremoniously, and the policemen backed away as if he were offering them a bomb. Tsukishima did not blame them. If he were to have a second chance, he too would've turned tail and ran as far away from it as he could've. He firsthandedly experienced how willing people were to destroy and kill for just a little sliver of light. When a team of gloved hands finally unburdened him of the gem, all Tsukishima could feel was relief.
Eventually, things settled.
Police cars drifted off one by one into the night, with a promise to be in touch. Kenma was taken to the hospital for malnourishment and some mild injuries he had sustained. Kuroo gave Tsukishima a wave as the pair were hauled off in an ambulance. There were searchlights, out in the distance, on the water, seeking out Goda. As it grew later, those too blinked out of existence. Goda was nowhere to be found. The final detective wished him a goodnight, and there was Yamaguchi, leaning against the brick building. His hair was windswept, his hands pocketed. He glowed in the simple light of the streetlamp. Tsukishima blinked and he could see the boy from eight years ago, waiting for him outside the gym after practice, waiting for him outside the convenience store. It was a bit funny how often he had made Yamaguchi wait for him in high school. The eight years Tsukishima had waited were a lot less funny, though.
He supposed that this exact moment, past midnight, at the end of the dock, was what the two of them had been hoping for since the moment they had met.
It was just them, now.
There were no more barriers between them... right?

He looked at Yamaguchi and all he could feel was terror.

How little he really knew of him. It was an unnameable, awful feeling, the juxtaposition of not knowing and intense love. Yamaguchi could tell him to jump, and Tsukishima was sure he would dive into any sort of terrible place just for him. He couldn't even be mad at him, because this was who Yamaguchi was. Yamaguchi had lied. He had given and taken. Tsukishima felt desire, but he also felt that lost, regretful feeling that only the man before him could give.

Yamaguchi took a step forward, "Are you ready to go?"

If he went with him, now, Tsukishima already knew that he would spend a long time wondering why this all had happened. Yamaguchi, on the other end of the spectrum, had the freedom he had spent his entire life longing for. Tsukishima could not imagine stepping forward, living that way, like an exposed wire, willing to touch and be touched. He could not imagine that freedom with everything that had come to pass. He didn't want to move until things felt solid again, if they ever even had.

This attitude could never be fair to Yamaguchi. He had the opportunity to turn over new leaves, begin new chapters of his life, but all Tsukishima wanted was to stand completely still.

Could you even have the freedom you want if we stayed together?

The present and the past could not exist at the same time, and both frightened Tsukishima terribly. What had happened could not be redone, it could barely be explained. They could never be children again, they could walk home together right now, but they would not be the teenagers that had walked home together every night of high school. He and Yamaguchi could not even be the same kind of lovers they had been in that little apartment, in that tree lined neighborhood, in the heart of Tokyo. Those people felt so foreign. Maybe they had never even existed. Tsukishima didn't know if he could forgive himself for falling in love with Yamaguchi when he had never fully revealed himself to him. The man in front of him was so beautiful, so calm, so horrifying. He could hurt him, and Tsukishima knew that he could inflict pain back.

What if it didn't work out? What if Yamaguchi left again?

There was nothing in their way now. If things went wrong, it would be no one's fault but their own, and the greatest goodness Tsukishima had ever known would be gone. A promise of genuine closeness was a threat of more injury.

Yamaguchi took a step forward, and he stepped back.

Tsukishima wished he could say all of this, that Yamaguchi could take his hands, make promises, and they could begin the process of reintroducing themselves. But his bravery had been spent. He had used up all the courage he could muster to survive the last couple of days.

"I'm still.. I'm still the same. I'm the same person that's always adored you. Everything I've done has been to come back to your side, Tsukki. We can finally be together."

Tsukishima couldn't bring himself to reply, so he looked away, and Yamaguchi knew. He sighed, tipping his head to look up at the moon, his hands fidgeting amongst each other.

"But, I-I understand if you want to leave. If you want to stop all of this, right here. With what I've done to you, I understand."

His voice trembled and shook, echoing through the blank night. Tsukishima wanted to yell at him, to say, "It's not what you've done, it's what I might do! If anything happens to you, or i-if you leave. If it doesn't work out- I'm just- I'm fucking scared."

But he just couldn't bring himself to speak. Tsukishima thought of his first apartment, of the hours, of the years he had spent on his own. A cage. Maybe he could not free himself from the walls he had put up, but at least no one else could enter.

The seconds that passed felt like an eternity. Yamaguchi nodded slowly, dipping his head to hide the tears that were flowing freely down his freckled face. He stuck out his hand in a polite, formal handshake.

A goodbye.

Tsukishima took his hand. Yamaguchi still felt so cold to the touch.

I love you. I love you so much. I have always loved you. I have waited for you for my entire life... but I am too much of a coward to imagine what could happen next.

He released him.

Yamaguchi turned, dipping in and out of the streetlights.

Look back, Tsukishima silently begged, please, Tadashi, look back.
But he didn't.
Yamaguchi disappeared down the dark street, as if he had never been there at all.
Tsukishima sank to his knees, every ounce of exhaustion hitting him at once.
Is this really what I want?
Even if he had wanted to run after Yamaguchi, he couldn't.
His legs could carry him no further.