Basically what's been happening lately is that after my mom came back and didn't have the virus everything was good. Christmas passed and my grandpa got sick. It was passed off to our family as a watch out kinda thing just in case he does have it. But my uncle got kicked out of his drug house that he was staying at and brought my other uncle with him. Now they stay with us. Well my grandpa got tested for covid-19 and he tested positive and now the house is on lockdown. Everyone wears masks now. Me and my brother aren't even aloud to go to the kitchen because our uncle's are out there and they sound sick so my mom said no. My grandpa got my grandma sick. And let me tell you that my grandma DID get the shot to prevent the covid-19 because she works at he hospital. I knew it was too early for a cure or whatever to happen and now my grandparents are sick.
I feel like a failure because my mom told me that my grandparents hate when we sleep forever. I can't help it it hurts my bones when I try to sleep and my eyes hurt if they aren't in the correct direction. Sp there's that. And I'm probably going to get held back with my brother because we haven't done really any school work. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts. I don't want to live but I'm too scared to die. Simple as that. I had thoughts of commiting when I was home alone but I didn't want to hurt my mom. She is the only reason I'm still breathing. My mom wants me to have the life she will never have so she pushes me really hard. This online school is messing with my head and how it functions. I honestly don't care enough. I love my mom and I want to work for my mom and thrive but my motivation is zero. I'm a failure.
Love you guys!
