The Enchantress | COMPLETE | AbhiGya Fiction

11. Heart of Darkness

Pragya:

It has not been more than forty eight hours since the nightmare that unfolded in the Mehra Bari; on the morning to Abhi and Bulbul's wedding, but it seemed like an incident of the last decade; when we walked out of their mansion little did we know we were bracing up for yet another storm, but of a higher magnitude. That evening Suresh had come to collect his luggage and talk to me, but I had told him I needed some time. It was the first time we were conversing after both our infidelity was out in the open, maybe he was ashamed, maybe he was as disgruntled, but he had easily agreed. He probably needed more time to gather his thoughts too. At home, 'mumma', me and Bulbul didn't talk much either, we all figured after a high octane morning we all needed some space – and I realised my hostile feelings towards 'mumma' had gone, I wondered how that happened, was it because she stood up for me against Suresh and even Bulbul to some extent today, or was it because she pulled me out of an abyss of guilt that consumed me, when I thought I wasn't a good enough mother to Aadi. I don't know why, but her motherly act today felt genuine for the first time; maybe we still had a chance at reconciliation, even though it might be a long road? I would never find an answer to this question now; because the next morning 'mumma' never woke up. She had a massive cardiac arrest in her sleep and in the morning Bulbul and I woke up without any parent in this world.

The rest of the day went in a haze, it was completely disconnected from the day before; I had instinctively called Suresh and he had arrived immediately; Bulbul must have informed Alia or Abhi, and they followed soon. We acted as one family, burying all hatchets for the time being. As they took her body away for cremation, I saw Bulbul sitting quietly, mostly in shock; and Alia and a couple of our neighbours consoling her, I found a trail of tear roll down my eyes; I was amazed, why were there tears in my eyes? I detested her all my life, I blamed her for hurting my mother, for snatching my father, for favouring Bulbul and never accepting me completely, then why did her demise actually feel like a personal loss to me, why did I feel like losing family, maybe another mother? I just called her 'mumma' I never felt that way; was the last act of kindness and love that she showered upon me the day before, strong enough to overwrite all the wrongs of the past? This was not fair, she hurt me in life, and 'mumma' managed to hurt me in her silent death too. I felt I had a sort of 'home' for one day, before it was snatched away. I was guilty, I knew yesterday's incident must have played a huge role in this mishap, and like I always wished in hatred, I did end up partially being the cause of her demise. In the war that I opened against the universe and my fate by choosing Abhi, took from me a second sacrifice that day, in the form of the woman I hated all my life and hated to lose too, 'mumma'.

Suresh, Abhi, Purab and a couple of other neighbours had gone for the cremation and were yet to return with the ashes; we were waiting for them, as guests and neighbours slowly started dispersing. I was avoiding Bulbul like the plague since the morning; not because of the wedding showdown, but because I was afraid she would blame me; I knew she was equally at fault, but well her loss was bigger too. It was only Bulbul, Alia and me at home then, I stared at Alia strangely as she constantly ignored my gaze and sat by Bulbul consoling her; Alia knew I hated 'mumma', she probably thought I am happy deep inside, I didn't blame her for this, but her indifference stung. Soon the men were back with the ashes, and after a while, all departed. Alia hugged Bulbul tightly before leaving, not acknowledging my presence. I kept looking at her hurt, as Purab tried controlling the damage by coming to me and gently patting my shoulder before leaving; Suresh held my shoulder and nodded at me in assurance, then he patted Bulbul's head gently once before leaving with Aadi, I had insisted that he took him for a couple of days to keep his mind off this shock; Abhi was the last to leave, he tried to hug Bulbul, but she refused him, he sighed but didn't insist and turned to me; Abhi walked up to me and hugged me gently, holding my waist, I relaxed in his broad chest and found myself burying my head deep in; I exhaled as he bent his head on my shoulder hugging me tighter. I realised I was shaking; I wasn't sure if it was because he was the first person to really hug me after the long shocking day, or was it because in his arms I finally let my guards down and let the hurt of losing 'mumma' sink in. He held me for some time, until I calmed down, then he let me go; I was reluctant to come out of his comforting embrace but I didn't stop him; he whispered that I should eat something and take rest and then he left.