Right Here.

Chapter. 11. Unwanted.

Today we were going to mom's OBGYN to see if she was having a boy or a girl. I guess I was excited to have a brother or sister, I'd look out for him/her. Secretly I hoped I'd have a little sister, someone who I could teach things, like... how to do her hair, how to do her make up. Taking her shopping. I sat in the waiting room with Amanda (who I am quite close to recently) and talked.

"Whadda you think it's gonna be?" I asked.

"Hmm.... I don't know...girl maybe... No. Boy!'

"I kinda hope it's a girl"

"Yeah well every girl wants a sister" Amanda said quietly, I know about her sister Kim, and I feel bad but Amanda gets through things.

"So how are you?" I asked changing the subject.

"I should be asking you the same question. Your dad tells me you and Liv haven't really been speaking?" she states but it's kind of directed as a question.

"Well... I can't bring myself to"

"Why not?" Amanda asked softly.

"I don't wanna hurt her, I'm a rapists baby, a constant reminder to her of what I put her through. Why didn't she just abort me when she knew there was a 50/50 chance of me being his?" I ask, a tear now falling.

"Because she loves you. You should tell her how you feel, trust me she'll understand"

"Yeah, yeah because she's my mother and she understands everything I go through and it affects her to blah blah"

"No. Just talk to her, she'll tell you. I just don't want you two to end up like Liv and her mother" she said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Serena?" I ask, I never address her as my grandmother since we're not close at all.

"Yeah"

"So what just cause they're not BFFs doesn't mean that my mom knows how I feel"

"But why do you think they're not BFFs?" she asked and that really made me think. My thoughts were interrupted by mom and dad.

"So go on tell us" Amanda said excitedly.

"It's a boy" mom smiled and dad smiled too, they looked so happy. I felt so... Unwanted.

Later that day I told mom and dad that I was going to the park, they didn't mind once I had my phone turned on, so I did as I was told and left. I headed to see Serena.

Serena Benson residence.

I knocked on the door nervously. The lock turned and there she was, Serena Benson standing at the door. I have visited her before but now I'm realising that her and mom don't look a like at all, she must get her looks from her father. "Emily?" she asked in shock and I nod. "Oh, sweetheart come in, come in" she said, sounding, excited almost. "So what can I do for you?" she asked.

"I need to know"

"Know what?"

"Why you and mom don't speak. Because I'm not speaking to her at the moment"

"Why?"

"I found out that Elliot isn't my father... I trailed teary eyed"

"Oh Emily... I'm so sorry" she said hugging me.

"She hates me doesn't she? Amanda says she understands me but, how? How could she ever understand what it feels like" I said hysterical at this point.

"She didn't tell you did she?" she asked softly stroking my hair.

"Tell me what?"

"I was raped too"