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Chapter. 14. Final Goodbyes.

I open my eyes and I'm in a hospital bed. Mom walks in seeming fine. "Mom you should resting" I say but she just smiles, it's a sad smile though.

"Emily... You've been out longer than you think"

"What?"

"You were in a coma for 3 months" she says quietly. This news comes as a shock to me. Just then dad walks in with Noah.

"Hey" I say excitedly but also nervous. Noah stretches his arms out towards me laughing and smiling. I take him from dad and play with him.

After an hour of boring paperwork I head home. Something feels different I feel scared. I look at my photos and around my room and none of it feels familiar. I mean I know everyone in the pictures but just the image in my head wasn't there. The doctor did say that I might have some trouble remembering things since I took such a blow to the head but I think I'm OK. I'm not totally confused.

Mom is heading the precinct so I tag along and dad stays with Noah. "So? Any news from the squad?" I asked.

"Nick died, Amanda will be in a wheelchair for the next 7 months and your grandmother's dead" she says and I can tell it's upsetting.

"How did I hit my head?" I ask.

"Well.. You fell backwards and hit your head off Fin's desk" she says and I just nod. We enter the squad and everyone hugs me and says hi and ask me how I'm feeling. "I'm good how's things here?" I ask but nobody replies.

"OK Em I got the file let's go" mom says. I look at her, it looks like something's wrong.

"Mom? You OK?" I ask. She is about to answer when she falls to the floor, Fin catches her.

"Liv? Liv?!" he calls shaking her gently. I grab some water and Fin uses it to wake her up.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I dunno you just fainted" I said and she shrugged. I knew something was wrong but I know she'd never tell.

After that weird moment we went home as if nothing happened. Neither of us speaking. I go straight to my room and I can already hear them fighting.

"You have to tell her" dad says.

"Things are bad enough as it is I'm not gonna ruin her recovery" mom protests.

"Olivia. If you don't tell her. I will" he says sounding angry. Mom sighs and walks in to my room.

"Emily sweetheart we need to talk"

"OK...."

"Well... When you pulled the trigger to shoot yourself your hand slipped and... OK you know what El why don't you tell her" mom says walking out.

"Well you shot your mother and... they're worried about how her brain. Is functioning, we have an appointment in two weeks to determine if she needs more surgery, that's why she fainted" dad explains but he seems calm.

Two weeks later.

"Well misses Stabler, I'm happy to tell you that you are doing great, we won't be needing to see you back here unless there are any further complications" the doctor explained. We were all overjoyed, but then there was the matter of Noah. "I'm afraid this news isn't so good, when we examined him, we found a disease we wouldn't have found if it wasn't for his check up.from the shooting. We can't determine what the disease is or what caused it but we do need to take care of it" he said and mom and dad nod. After that I zone out. The car is quiet until mom speaks. "Why couldn't it be the other way around" she sighed.

"Don't be like that" dad said sadly.

When we finally got to our street and parked the car I ran straight inside and into my room. I'm sick of hospitals. Guns. Rape. Knives. Drama. Death. Sickness. Life. That's when I decided, it was time to end it, I'm the one who caused all this, they'd be better off without me. It was time to say my final goodbyes. I slashed my left wrist with one of dads razors and then my right. Mom entered and saw my standing there bleeding. "ELLIOT!" she screamed grabbing paper towels. Dad rushed in and tried to help. But I fell to my knees sobbing, then a smiled crept upon my face. "I love you" I whisper before darkness takes me away.

Hope you guys enjoyed! That's my last chapter! Sorry I rushed it if there's a problem PM or comment I know its all over the place lol I have writers block and I'm all mixed between stories :)