Runaway Groom (Groom Series Book 1) (English Translation)

Chapter 7

Dedicated to ifajawahire14

Chapter 7: Sweet Goodbyes

One can only bear being hurt, until the pain is too much to endure.

It's so painful. No. It's more than that. No one can explain the intensity of the pain I'm feeling right now.

I left them with the hope that Mew will come after me. But to my grave disappointment, he did not. And that makes it even more painful. He just let me walk away from there, with no sign of fear to lose me.

My tears continuously fall as I walked away from them. Even so, I was still hoping that someone would hold my elbow or would pull me for a tight hug. I was hoping that Mew would do it. But no. It did not happen. Mew did not try to stop me. He did not try to chase me. He just let me be.

No words can desribe the heaviness I'm feeling right now.

I continued crying and did not mind the scorching heat of the sun. Even the majestic scene and the small crashing of the waves did not comfort me.

I did not notice that I have reached the other end of the island. There I sat under the shade of a palm tree.

My chest feels so heavy. My heart is crushed into pieces. I cried and cried and cried.

God, it hurts so much. The pain is just unbearable.

What did I do in my past life to deserve this? Was I one of those terrible kings who made the lives of his people miserable? Why is this so painful? Why is everything just pain? And why is the pain too much?

I couldn't help myself but blame the Creator.

"Am I asking for too much? I am not, right?" I shouted. "All I want is to be loved by the person I endear the most. All I want is to be loved by Mew. Is it too much to ask?" my voice broke as I cried.

I don't know why I only came back to my senses now. All these times, I fought a war, that in the first place, I had no chance in winning.

I fought for a person who did not care for me. A person who wouldn't fight for me. A person who would never love me.

A realization daunted me.

I fought for the wrong person. I fought for the wrong battle. I fought a battle that wasn't mine to win.

The past days, Mew outright cheated on me, never failing to make me feel bad. But with eyes closed, I accepted it all, as if I was blind. I swallowed everything, even my pride. In the end, it was still me who ended up hurting. It was still me who was left crying. Because in the end, this was all my choice. And this is all my fault.

It's my fault because I agreed to marry him. It's my fault because I let myself hope that someday, he will learn to love me back. Which I know now that it is close to impossible.

I lost track of the hours I sat there crying and hoping for the pain to just fade.

I started to reminisce the days when Mew was still in college. Even when I was with Hal in the library, I would still look for Mew and watch him. How I would simply visit the book shelves where Mew is looking for books so that somehow, we will interact. How I would purposely walk by their classroom to have a glance of his handsome face.

I was still the one who hurt myself. Because this is all my fault. Who forced himself to Mew? Wasn't it just me? Who decided to just be blind? Wasn't it just me?

Mixed emotions flooded me. I am angry at myself for choosing to suffer and allowing all of these to happen. I'm angry at Mew amd Aron for making me feel this pain. But above anger, I feel pity for myself. I am so pitiful. Apart from the fact that Mew failed to love me, I also failed to love myself.