lost cause - tetsurou kuroo x reader

chapter 11

kuroo pov
i exhaled quickly, before brisk walking out of the arcade. i couldnt take it anymore, seeing y/n with kenma felt like a knife through my heart. y/n liked kenma. it was like a tsunami of pain. the tears welled up in my eyes and i began to run. i didnt know where i was going but i was going to run i ran straight, down the roads and down past all the buildings.

the scenery blurred and i just kept running. my breathing accelerated and it felt like i wasnt getting enough air. i didnt stop running, i ran forward until i reached a dead end. i stopped as i stared at the brick wall before me. a million pictures surged through my head, as i dropped on my knees and onto the floor. i couldnt live without her, y/n was my everything and now i wasnt her everything.

she used to always say "i'll always be here ok ? if you ever feel down or feel like im gonna leave just tell me. i'll prove to you that i'll be with you forever"

forever.

it rang through my head like a dozen bells chiming constantly. it all seemed like a lie now. i sat on the pavement, i didnt care about any of my surroundings. it was deserted and i pulled my knees to my chest. the tears came out of my eyes uncontrollably, i couldnt just hold it in anymore. it had been two months since i had held y/n in my arms. and now i knew it would never happen again.

i stared at the ground as my vision turned dark, the image of y/n and kenma together clouded all my thoughts. the sheer joy and happiness on y/n's face when she was with kenma. y/n leaned in for a kiss on kenma's lips and my heart shattered, into a billion pieces.

"follow your heart" y/n would always say. 'but if my heart was in a billion pieces, which piece would i follow... and if my heart just wanted to be with you y/n chan, how would i do that' i thought as my tears streamed out faster. my cheeks went red hot and i struggled to breath.

i felt alone all this while and i had no one to talk to. it had been two months. two whole months and all i had been was a pathetic mess. i couldnt hold myself together, not a single bit. i closed my eyes tight and the tears gathered in my eyes, my eyes stung and my breathing was shallower. my nose was blocked and it sent a sharp pain of a headache into my scalp. i refused to open my eyes, i wanted to escape from this reality.

it felt like i was drowning in tears, i couldnt breath and i felt so helpless.

it was the day we first met, the way she looked when i saw her near the stadium. she looked like she had just fell from heaven, and she had a wide smile on her face. she was watching the game with her friends and she had caught my eye. and apparently i had caught her eye too.

it was so easy to talk to her, she was so warm and sweet and she never held back on teasing me. she was my bestfriend and i fell in love with her and i asked her out. i smiled through the tears, i love her, so so much. but reality struck me once again that she was no longer mine. i could no longer handle it anymore. i was nothing without her, it was all my fault.

y/n pov
as you and kenma played more games, the time slowly ticked by. it was already 5:30pm and it was getting late. you had stayed at the arcade for a good 4 hours or more and you were drained from the excitement. however you were happy and filled with joy from the fun you had spent with kenma. despite your awkward confession that resulted in a rejection, kenma was still kind and his usual self with you, giving you some reassurance that you weren't going to lose him.

"let's go grab some dinner" kenma said as the two of you walked out of the arcade. kenma scanned the area looking for someone, his eyebrows creased. "where's kuroo ?" he asked and you shrugged. 'he probably left because he was alone' as you stood and waited for kenma.

kenma texted kuroo and you peered at the message over his shoulder.

kenma: hey kuroo where'd you go ?
kenma: i dont think you're in the arcade anymore so y/n and i will meet you at the ramen bar downtown at 6

you pouted slightly, you didnt really want kuroo to join you, you just wanted time alone with kenma. he was so fun to be around, his calm demeanour and his quiet personality drew you to him and you couldnt help but think you were lucky that he was there the day you woke up. he was there to guide you, despite your severe amnesia and he reintroduced you to the world and gave you a place to be comfortable. you couldnt help but be grateful.

you and kenma walked towards the ramen bar and got a table for three. kenma and you browsed through the menu before you began to take your orders. kenma ordered for kuroo and sent him another text. "what's taking him so long" kenma mumbled with a strong amount of concern in his voice.

as the waiter left the table, kenma checked his phone every few seconds, hoping for kuroo's reply. but it never came. you watched as kenma checked his phone as sweat trickled down his forehead. kenma gulped.

suddenly, your head pulsated and a sharp pain raced through your bloodstream, especially in your head. 'is this happening again?' you thought. the pain was incredibly unbearable this time and tears started pouring out of your eyes. it hurt so bad and you just wanted to scream. you clasped at your head but your whole body was stiff. your vision blurred.

"y/n ? are you ok?" you heard kenma's concerned voice although it was muffled. you tried to answer but you fell forward, head hitting the table and you collapsed, and your mind went blank, losing all consciousness. 'what is happening to me'

🚨⚠️TW⚠️🚨

kuroo pov
i pulled my eyes open and i looked up to see the quiet street i was on. i had been sitting here in agony for a good half an hour. the pain never left me. i was filled with regret, i stood up and hobbled down the roads. i was losing my sense of self and i felt worthless. just a speck in the large universe.

"the universe could do without me" i walked slowly, finding myself infront of a bridge. i peered down, 'it's really high up'.