Of Teacups and a Quill. [Levi Ackerman]

Paradox (Pt. 2)

Indeed, the definition of hell is subjective. 

Genre: Angst, fluff.

Treacherous. You did not know why or how, but what you just saw made you feel like you have been betrayed. Your heart broke in so many fragments when you realized that there really is nothing going on between the two of you. Levi Ackerman introduced you to your own kind of hell and left you in such a forsaken place just to go with an angel.

"Welp, I guess Eren's not here." Hanji yanked your arm away from the scene. Your friend is not dumb, and you often curse Hanji for being too smart, that you could not keep secrets from them. They are aware of how you had harbored feelings for the corporal in a short amount of time. A tough façade was enough to fool the others, especially the cadets, but never Hanji. They knew how soft you are inside the shell you have built, how pure you are despite the harsh approach of the world, how your on-duty self contradicts the real you.

Hanji is painfully aware of how hurt you are right now.

"Oi, four eyes!" You bit your lip, following Hanji despite hearing Levi's voices, his footsteps are getting closer.

Hanji laughed awkwardly, shooing the captain away, "Oh, don't worry about us, Levi! We won't tell what we just saw, we promise!" They said, turning to face Levi, but you remained in your position. The picture of what you just saw never left your mind. "Right, (Y/N)?"

"Yeah," You muttered, breathing deeply before turning around to face the man, "It's alright, captain." You said with the utmost formality, that even Hanji beside you almost dropped their jaw wide open.

The corporal's heart felt a pang of guilt burning through his own heart, he did not know what to say or how to react. You were never formal with him before, you were never cold. And Levi knew he fucked up when flame that burned in your eyes whenever you stare at him is now as cold as ice. He did not know what to do when you and Hanji's figure slowly took off. He fucked up, and so you walked away.

Rocks caused the carriage to shake a little bit, your eyes never left the wooden seat, and Hanji's concern grew as time passed by.

"What was that?" Hanji asks, you just shrugged your shoulders, you are in no mood to defend yourself on why you acted like that earlier. And it's not like you have to deny it, too. Hanji already knows.

"Friends don't get upset when you see them with somebody else."

A deafening silence enveloped the both of you the whole ride home. Your anxious heart does not seem to know how to pump properly anymore, causing your chest to feel erratic, and your stomach now filled with dead butterflies.

You never played a game, you never participated in the war, yet you lost. What hurts more than losing without even starting?

_____

Every second of training became a blessing. Your squad member dodged as you threw a kick, earning a sense of pride from you. At last, they are learning, you thought. A month had passed after the incident in the old headquarters. Hanji never talked about it again, you and Levi never talked, nor had you acknowledged his presence.

It is hard to ignore the captain, especially when he has a special place deep inside your soul. It's hard to remove his remnants out of your system, he's not just Levi. He's someone who made you feel like his world revolved around you, someone who's touch sends shivers down every fiber of your being, someone who made you hear music that does not exist.

But he's also someone who made you believe that all of it was a part of your fallacies.

A kick in the stomach woke you up from the plethora of thoughts that clouded your mind, your hand immediately blocked your member's punches, and with one swift move, he found himself lying in the ground.