Something Good Can Work

ONE - listen

Trigger Warning - homophobic slurs/homophobia,

Shelby's POV

"Where do you think you're going?" His voice as so loud, demanding - I couldn't even hear my own thoughts in order to answer him.

"Answer me!" His booming voice sent shivers down my spine and tears to my eyes.

"I need to leave Daddy, she needs me!" Becca needed me - she was in hospital because of me and my damn mistakes. He didn't understand the fear and the pain, the heartache and the mistakes.

"You wanna go see the dyke? She'll infect you Shelby, you know that way of life is a sin."

"I'm sorry Daddy."

That was the last conversation I had with him. Becca needed me and I needed to see her and tell her how sorry I am and how I didn't mean a single thing I said. I needed to see her face and tell her that I love her and that she needs to hold on, that I'm by her side. She deserves better than me, she deserves someone who can be open and honest with her. She doesn't know how amazing she is, she can't have done this, she had to know that she had people who loved her. No of course she didn't realise, I told her otherwise, I made her feel alone, unloved, unwanted. It was my fault she was here, my fault that she didn't see a point in living anymore - I fucked up.

"Shelby?" Becca's Mom spoke to me so softly as if I were made of glass. "Shelby, she's gone. She was in critical condition, I couldn't allow her to suffer any longer Shelby, she was in so much pain."

The ringing was unbearable, the heart-wrenching pain, the numbness taking over my body. It's all to much, I can't stay here any longer - I have to escape, I have to breathe, I can't stay. So I run, I run as fast and as far as I can, avoiding home as much as possible, knowing I'd be unwelcome after what happened before I left. After about 30 minutes of running, I fell to my knees at the park, right next to the Well that gives our town it's name, The Hope Well. I spend a lot of time here doing nothing in particular - it was just a nice place to escape to. There was one person who I always spent time with here - Toni Shalifoe, captain of the Hopewell High School Basketball Team (HHSBT for short) and my childhood frenemy. She knows how to get on my nerves, but also how to calm me down when I'm being irrational. Right now is when I'd need her to calm me down.

'Shelly?' She'd say.

'Shelly, it's okay I'm here, what's happened?' Her voice soothing all the fears in my head. If I'm honest, I wish we could be friends, maybe more. Yes, I loved Becca, but I wasn't in love with her. She made me aware of my sexuality and supported me - I loved her in a best friend way, I realised that when I was in hospital, waiting to hear about how she was doing. With Toni though, I know I definitely like her, that's why the hard front comes out.

"Shelby?" She was here. The heat rushed to my face at her voice and her presence, but she could never know that.

"You're in the tornado drill position, what's wrong?" She made her way to me slowly, coming to sit next to me.

"She's gone Toni and its my fault. I pushed her, I was horrible to her, I made it bad. I fucked up so bad."

No words followed, just silent understanding and soft touches. She knows that I can't be soothed with words, only really actions, so she rubs my back and plays with my hair anything to distract me from the thoughts slowly invading my mind.

"Shelly, its okay. She was hurting, she needed help. It's okay to be struggling, just as long as you get help before doing anything you may regret."

"Stop"

Bang.

I jump start into action as something falls to the floor. Was all of that a dream? Was Becca okay and alive? Did my Dad hate me?