Hope Can Be Cruel (ER fanfic)

No Promises, but if You Should Fall...

"Twenty bucks," Malik said, holding out his hand to Carol expectantly.

She eyed it and him, an introspective frown creasing her brow. "Someone steal your lunch money again?"

"For the bet," Noticing the quizzical expression she had, he clarified. "Carter?"

Carol rolled her eyes so hard, she could see the inside of her skull. "You're taking bets now?"

"Ten bucks extra if you can predict the gender."

"This is ridiculous, you guys!"

Neither of them knew John was inching toward them. They were too busy arguing. He stood quietly behind them, eyes going back and forth between the two like watching a tennis match. With his interest piqued, he leaned his folded arms against the desk opposite of them. He had nothing else to do, other than sit in the waiting room upstairs, going crazy.

"What else have we got going on?" Malik whined, weary of this discourse.

"You could try something a little less insensitive for a start."

John had just about enough of this. The gossip, the 'Is he or isn't he?' discussions behind his back, the torture they were going through not knowing. It annoyed him, but also left him feeling somewhat sorry for them. So, in the end, he decided not to hide it anymore and chimed in with a subtle hint. "Carol's right. Plus, it's only been a week; too early to tell. But," John reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet and slyly handed him a ten-dollar bill. "I feel like it's a girl."

He looked at it a moment, baffled. Then gave him a surprised gaze. "Wait. Are you serious?"

Jerry came back from the lounge, mug of coffee in hand, only just then hearing what Malik said. "What?"

"Doug was right."

"What?" he asked again, this time in a higher pitch. He looked to John's back of the head with prying eyes. "You're serious?"

John didn't say anything, just kept his eyes on a patient chart that wasn't even his, with eyebrows raised. Near imperceptibly, however, he nodded.

Both Malik and Jerry exclaimed to different degrees, "Oh my God!" Then, they put forth a flurry of questions, talking over each other, ranging from 'Who is the father?' and 'Were you born this way?'

A wheezy chuckle escaped from his lips, glad they were excited rather than disgusted. He wasn't sure why he expected anything else. Force of habit, he guessed. "Alright, alright," he said, laughing. "One at a time, please."

"Were you born intersex?"

Malik smacked Jerry on his shoulder. "Duh, of course, he was."

"I don't know!"

"It's okay. No, not exactly. I was, but I needed to have constructive surgery for an opening, so yes, I was born intersex but not with both sets of genitals. To have that is pretty rare," John could tell what he was going to ask next; the same pigeonholed question everyone else had when he told them, which was another reason why he stopped telling people. "No, I didn't have breasts. For whatever reason, they never developed," he all but snapped. "Malik?"

"Whose is it?"

The explanation was straightforward, yet difficult to get out. John explained it to Peter already, and frankly, he didn't have it in him to go through it again. He also didn't want to admit it. Not that he was ashamed, he simply didn't want to hear the same ridiculing words, 'You slept with him after what he did?' It was a fair question, but it didn't make it less unbearable to hear.