Alchemy Reviews

❉ EXAMPLE (Full Review) ❉

No surprises.

This is an example of an actual private review I have done in awards of someone's book.

Character names, as well as some details, have been changed to protect the identity of the book and author...

Minus the comments about scoring, this is similar to what you can expect to see if you request a review from me.

Read on...

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Mystery title by @ARMYAUTHOR

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Now, I am not usually one to judge harshly on a books outsides as it usually doesn’t reflect the quality, but your cover just happens to be a great one anyway! The picture of Jungkook is completely appropriate to the persona you have given him, and the big bold lightened font of your title really stands out. The book title is also very sweet. A little unmemorable perhaps - but still sweet. I don’t believe you have to have a unique title if it suits your book but for some readers that kind of thing does matter. Something to keep in mind.

Scoring is high but not perfect because whilst the cover is great, I wouldn’t call it impressive and your book title is sweet but not overly impacting.

Like your cover, the description is simple yet effective and catchy. The quote is humorous, and the blurb works to peak the reader's intrigue without being overdone or including any unnecessary details and/or spoilers. Full marks!

This is where things start to go a bit awry. The entrance summary in your first chapter to explain the existence of mating bonds and how they work drew me in, and the difference from the usual cliché plot line was great, however, the robotic vocabulary and lack of imagery meant it lacked a feeling of authenticity and did not provide much mental stimulation. And this was a theme that continued all the way throughout the majority of the chapters I read.

Part of the reason why a reader becomes invested in a character is because we can identify with them, relate to them or at the very least, find some kind of emotional connection with them but that is hard to do when the descriptiveness is at a minimum.

In terms of plot and storyline, your book followed the expected sequence of events and overall had good storytelling, but the language use was often written too formally, which made the characters interactions with each other, and the characters themselves seem, at times, unrealistic and robotic. There were also some unrealistic moments in terms of plot that went outside the type of realism you were trying to portray.

Jin randomly thinks Ariana might be Jungkook’s mate just because they both don’t have mates (when there are so many people in the world)?

Jungkook doesn’t want a mate but he forcibly makes Ariana date him anyway for reasons unknown?

Yoongi works at a small café and lives in a run down apartment but he shops at Louis Vuitton?

It would be good if the ‘Whys’ for these kinds of events could be explained or hinted at so it doesn’t seem so irrational.

In saying this, you deserve a lot of props for the imagination you used to create a non-standard cliché plot! When Jungkook and Ariana started dating each other they interacted well and their flirting and chemistry together was cute. I note, your writing style did appear to improve a bit in the later chapters, becoming more expressive and illustrative so good one! You can see you're learning as you go and that's admirable.

Varying scoring has been given for character development, plot and flow for these reasons.

By far, the area that needs the most work is word usage, sentence structure, punctuation and grammar. For example, incorrect word usage and placement, misspellings, commas used in the place of full stops at the very end of a paragraph, colons used during speech and conveyance of inner monologue- switching between normal font with or without speech marks, italics and underlined italics etc.

At the end of the day, these things didn't make or break my ability to understand what you were trying to say, but it would be beneficial and look more professional if these areas were fixed and consistent.

Overall, your story was entertaining enough to allow me to keep reading half of your book but the improper grammar and vocabulary, and lack of character relatability, meant I couldn’t really enjoy it in its entirety. A little more refining in these areas and your book will match your great cover and description!

Linney xo