Curses and Dreams

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

As time went on, Kakashi was home less and less. He was training to become a Jonin, so he was going on longer missions and spending more time training with Minato. His first mission as a Jonin went terribly wrong, resulting in the death of teammate Obito. Kakashi came home with Obito's sharingan eye and a colder heart. That night, you snuck out of your house to his apartment. You laid there with him and held him as he cried about Obito and his dad, the two of you only ten years old but he had already lived through so much. He confessed to you that he swore to Obito that he would protect Rin, that it was Obito's dying wish because he had been in love with her. Your heart softened for Kakashi, knowing he was a man of his word. You made a mental note that you would be nicer to Rin for his sake, knowing that Kakashi would be doing so out of obligation and not out of affection.

You became a Genin at twelve, as expected, and you were put on a team with Kurenai. Since you were now out of the academy, and going on missions yourself, you saw Kakashi less and less. He, Rin, and Minato would go on much longer and more dangerous missions than you did, and you always worried about him. Every once in a while, when he was home from a mission, he'd climb up to your window at night to see you. Sometimes you'd sneak out to his apartment instead. You never did anything beyond sleep, and talk, because you were still young and it was enough to be in each other's company for a little while.

When Rin died when you were 13, Kakashi joined the Anbu Black Ops. You never saw him out in the village anymore, and your other friends complained that they never saw him either. Part of being in the Anbu was living a life of secrecy, wearing a mask (in Kakashi's case, two masks) to protect your identity from enemies. This also meant you had to be careful with any personal relationships, as anyone you cared for could become a target if you weren't careful.

He still came to your window at night, and you'd spend the nights as you always did. You were getting older though, realizing that your feelings for him went beyond a childhood crush. You were in love with him. You'd seen him in his darkest days, you grew up with him, you'd always been there for each other. You had never officially been together, nor had either of you ever discussed feelings. You had always just been. (Y/n) and Kakashi, best friends against the world.

The Chunin exam was coming up, and having recently turned 15, your parents agreed to let you take the exam. You were training with Kurenai one day, chatting about the exam and various village gossip.

"I think," you started, "I think if I pass the Chunin exam, I'm going to ask Kakashi if he wants to hook up."
"Oh?" Kurenai asked. "Do you think he wants to?"
"I don't know, he's a guy. You know how we spend the night with each other all the time? We literally never do anything, we never even kiss. I don't think it would be weird if I made a move, I honestly think he's just too polite for it. Or shy, I don't know."
"Why wait until after the exam?" Kurenai questioned. A good question, which you were prepared for.
"I feel like there's such a gap between me and Kakashi right now. I'm a Genin and he's an ANBU captain, for gods sakes. I feel like if I become a chunin first, I'll feel like I'm more on his level."
"That's fair," Kurenai mused. "I guess that means we need to train harder then," she said with a grin.
"Obviously," you replied, laughing.