One Of Us

Deliverance

Christmas was chasing them down hard and Bjorn couldn't deny that he was so excited to be back where he belonged, with Anna and the kids. The whole situation was a miracle that he didn't think he would ever be able to fathom. His obsession with Anna and the children was causing him issues in his life away from Ekero though as he was finding it increasingly hard to leave them and Anna couldn't find it in her heart to be cross with him for she found that she felt the same way herself. She never wanted to let him go, she wanted to live in a bubble with him and their kids and never come out again but they were both sensible enough to know that they had to make a life that was workable for them and they had to deal with the fallout from Bjorn's divorce. They couldn't hide away forever and even though Bjorn understood Anna's increasing reticence about being in the public eye he was determined that they would not hide their relationship away, he was proud of his Anna and he wanted the world to know that they were together again. He wanted to take her places, give her everything that he hadn't the last time around, he wanted to give her the world.
Anna on the other hand was frightened of what people would think, she didn't want to be seen as a marriage wrecker but she was sensible enough to realise that if she wanted Bjorn (and she surely did) then she would have to get over the biggest bump of all  and not be scared. They would manage it, she would, she had to keep telling herself that. She was frightened that Lena would win custody of the kids and not face any consequences for what she had done to Bjorn and the girls and she did not think that she could bear to see Bjorn's pain if that were to happen. She worried endlessly that her weirdos as Linda called them would hurt her family and  that Bjorn would decide that she wasn't worth the effort.
It all came to a head 2 days before Lena was due to face court for the first time to enter her plea, the solicitor had been very reassuring as had the police but Anna could not find the peace that she needed in her mind and she'd taken refuge in a little snug that was filled with her books and music at the end of the house. It was here that Bjorn eventually found her after becoming increasingly worried by her absence, his immediate feeling of relief was soon overshadowed by the sight of her clear distress and he hurried to her side "Anna Bella my darling girl, what's wrong?" he scooped her up and sat down on her little sofa with her cuddled into his lap. Her sobbing only intensified at his gentle tone but he was reassured that she still clung to him like a limpet "Won't you tell me?" he whispered but she shook her head no. Bjorn frowned momentarily  and then his frown cleared as he worked out what was wrong "Ah!" he whispered in her ear "Its my turn isn't it? The demons have finally come" his only answer was  a fresh flood of tears but he knew that he was right. He settled into the sofa and held her tightly as she cried like her heart was broken. He debated what it could possibly be but he had to admit that there was so much going on for them both at the moment that he really wasn't sure what it was that was bothering her so he settled for whispering over and over that he loved her and whatever it was they'd sort it out. He reassured her that whatever it was it was just another bump in the road. He reminded her of his promise that he would handle her issues and demons when they came and he told her firmly that he would never change his mind.
Gradually she calmed to shuddery hiccups and she wiped her face on his shirt "I'm sorry" she whispered "I promised myself I wouldn't do this with you this time. You've had enough of my dramas to last a lifetime" Bjorn's lips twitched unwillingly "So you hid yourself away?" he asked gently "Didn't work did it?" Anna grumbled quietly "No my Anna and it never will" he murmured "I will always find you, I'll always come looking when you are gone too long  from my side Baby" He shifted her slightly and made her meet his eyes "When will you learn I wonder? When will you learn that I mean what I say? Your dramas that you worry so much about are just OUR life Anna. Our life isn't like other people's, its ours and ours alone. We have to live it the way that makes us and our children happy. Will you tell me what it is that is upsetting you so much? What makes you hide from me today?" he asked gently
"I'm scared Bjorn" she admitted "I'm scared that Lena will get her way again and you and the girls will suffer. I don't think I could bear that" she sighed and turned further into him "I'm scared that you'll leave me and go back to her to keep the girls and I wouldn't blame you" she  hastened to add. He opened his mouth rapidly to disabuse her of such a ridiculous notion but she didn't give him a chance "and if we go public the world will think I'm a marriage wrecker and that I wrecked your girls lives" "Anna, the world loves you. I don't think you realise how much the world would want us to be back together. Lena is hated because she broke us up. It was one of the MANY things we argued about" he said dismissively "Really??" Anna sounded unconvinced "Oh Anna, have you really no idea? Did you retreat so much that you couldn't see?" Bjorn demanded gently. Anna looked confused "I don't know what you mean" "Anna, the world want us to be together, they hated Lena and she knew it. We are the greatest love story" Anna snorted "they don't know me" Bjorn grinned unwillingly "No, they don't but I do and I still agree we are the greatest love story and that we deserve the happy ending that the world wants for us" "I couldn't bear to watch you without me so I never looked. I'm jealous and I'm proud Bjorn" she admitted quietly "Do you still want that Bjorn? For real? I know I'm difficult, stubborn and maybe still a little bit crazy." she asked hesitantly "Anna you're my kind of crazy. My crazy girl. Anna I want you, I need you. I only need you and our kids. Yes I want our happy ending! How do you not know that?" he asked genuinely flummoxed, she sniffled "because I want it so much, because she took you away from me once, she could do it again if she gets the kids" "Anna, I will not allow her to get the kids. We won't, you were right she doesn't stand a chance because we have insurmountable evidence against her. She's being charged with attempted murder Bella, harassment and criminal damage. Those are serious charges baby and you know that she can't take me away again, she never bloody had me. Never, not once. You enchanted and ensnared me the second I laid my eyes on you and that has never changed nor will it. What she had was my children and some sort of shadow of me while I protected my children and that Anna was always the heart of the issue. She knew that you held me, no you HOLD me safely. You hold my heart and soul in your hands, you have my life" he stopped on a growl.
His impassioned words bolstered her defences and her tears dried rapidly as she absorbed them "I'm sorry" she murmured, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand "is it true?" she asked "every bit" Bjorn said firmly as he cradled her "the world wants us?" she queried "it does Anna, we will not be judged. Most especially when Lena's trial gets in the papers" he shifted her so he could kiss her "and even if they didn't I want us, we want us and that is what will happen Anna Bella because we are unbreakable and we will make our new world despite what gets thrown at us. Or maybe even because of it"
They sat for a while each absorbing the conversation and gaining comfort from each others presence until Anna heaved a sigh and said "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" It was a rhetorical question for she did not give Bjorn time to answer "You're right, I don't care what the world thinks so long as I have you and the kids. The media will just write what they want anyway so we'll just ride it out until something else more interesting comes along" Bjorn hummed comfortingly "I think you love me as much as I love you" and he smiled nuzzling her softly "is there anything else worrying you today?" he enquired "no more hiding Anna, no more worrying that you can't tell me these things. We're going to face every issue head on this time, we won't make the same mistakes" Anna heaved a sigh "I don't think its fair for you to take on my crazies Bjorn. I am so scared that they'll hurt you, they won't ever leave me alone and you don't deserve it. I'm more trouble than I'm worth. I want you and the kids to have the best life and I don't think you will with me"
Bjorn did not do her the discourtesy of dismissing her concerns out of hand but he was swift in his reply "Do you think Anna that they make the slightest difference to me? They do not. Right now they are part of the package that you come with but it won't last forever" "and if it does?" burst out of Anna "then it does" Bjorn retorted "we both have baggage Anna, you've taken mine on with no hesitation because you love me and so it is the same for me. Why would you think it any different for me? Do you doubt my love??" her grip on his shirt tightened "no but I love you enough to want what's best for you and.." "and what's best for me, for the children is YOU Anna darling" Bjorn interrupted firmly "Your weirdos are part of OUR life and you never know once we go public and the world knows that you are unequivocally mine they might go away but if they don't I don't care, they won't make the slightest difference to the life I need with you. We'll work around them and that is my final word Anna. No negotiation" he felt her twitch and mumble "Bossy!" he grinned "tell me you hate it, tell me you don't crave it sometimes, tell me it doesn't chase the demons away sometimes and I'll stop" there was a silence and then "I can't, I can't tell you that" she whispered honestly "Anna let's not overcomplicate things again. We love each other yes?" "Yes" Anna agreed "then the rest will come just as its meant to" his lips met hers and as always it left them both flustered and wanting more. "I want US Anna and if you want me too the baggage that we each carry won't be heavy will it because we can share the load?" "I want us too Bjorn and I will weather this storm with you but it frightens me what will come. When we were in ABBA the press were not kind, they have no right to dissect my life, our life. They have no right to judge me but they will. They don't know me." she grumbled "Anna, the important people in our lives know us. Its going to be rough I know. I'm going to need you so much when my life is splashed across the papers, that my wife had affair after affair, that I'm a sexual pervert and all the other stuff that they'll dig up. I can't even begin to think about how bad its going to be but I won't stop until I get what we all want. It will pass Anna because when I emerge from the darkness of all this I need you to be waiting for me on the other side" 
He felt her heave an enormous sigh and he felt her body relax fully into him and he sighed inwardly himself  with great relief only for it to be blown away in a heartbeat when she looked him in the eye and said "I won't be waiting for you on the other side of the darkness Bjorn" his heart took less than a blink of the eye to plummet into what felt like an abyss and he felt a cold chill run over his skin, he couldn't control it. Anna frowned as she felt the hairs on his arms rise and she searched his eyes confused by his reaction until she realised how her words could have been misconstrued "Oh Bjorn. I'm sorry" she said softly reaching up to run her fingers through his beard  "You chased my demons away like you promised and I sent them after you instead, I didn't mean to. What I MEANT was I won't be waiting for you on the other side of the darkness because I'll be holding your hand as tight as I can while we find our way through it together" His relief returned like a waterfall and he hugged her tightly to him "Jesus Anna, you had me worried there! What are you trying to do to me?" he demanded "Well it wouldn't do for you to get complacent would it?" she teased to hide her own strong emotion "That's something I've been guilty of in the past but never again" he vowed, she said nothing but her fingers twined through his tightly "I'm sorry I wobbled Bjorn, it should be me supporting you, not you mopping me up again" she mused "Its the first time you've wobbled since we've been back together so I'd say it was a bit overdue wouldn't you?" he replied softly "Are we good?" he checked "We are, but don't make me move yet. I'm happy, Anna is asleep isn't she?" "Mmmm " Bjorn agreed "Linda and Christian are still at school and Emma will be back with Mona and Mama in a bit" Bjorn smiled at the thought. His return to Anna's side had been greeted with quiet optimism from Anna's parents and he thought he'd detected a certain degree of relief. They'd come to visit once a week since Bjorn had been well and had taken Emma and Anna into their hearts and lives with no hesitation as had the rest of Anna's family. Anna had clearly shared enough of the story to allow this to happen and Bjorn couldn't have been more grateful. The baggage that he carried was becoming lighter by the day. 
He had dreaded his first meeting with Anna's parents face to face for he knew how he would feel if he were to face the man whose actions had affected their daughter so much and his crippling guilt was not enough to make amends as far he was concerned. Nothing had been said for what felt like an eternity and then Ingvar looked him in the eye and said "Because Anna is so happy I welcome you home, because the darkness is gone from her eyes I accept you without rancour. I see the damage in your eyes Bjorn and in those of your children and I applaud your courage in fighting to make this right. I am proud of my daughter for having the courage to revisit her past mistakes and be brave enough to go for what she wants. She has suffered terribly Bjorn in the time that you two have been apart but I can see now that you  have too. We will love your children as she does and they will be part of our family. There are difficult times ahead of you both and we will support you" he stopped and fixed Bjorn with the gimlet eyed stare that he remembered so well from when he first dated Anna and Bjorn's skin prickled like a teenager even though he was 41 years old "but if you dare to hurt her again Bjorn, if you dare to let her down or make her doubt her own sanity like you did the last time I can promise you I will not be responsible for my actions. Are we clear?" he demanded "Yes Sir, absolutely clear" Bjorn didn't hesitate "I'm sorry, more sorry than you could ever know. We just couldn't find our way through it all. We didn't know what we stood to lose. I was complacent and I was a bastard. I'm not that man anymore. ABBA never should have taken precedence over us" he rubbed his face tiredly "I do love her, more than my own life. I always have, I always will and I promise to never let her down again. I doubt I'll even let her leave my side" he rolled his eyes as he admitted his weakness for her. He flinched at the hand placed on his shoulder "Bjorn, take it easy. I'm not going to hit you" Ingvar told him gently "its no less than I deserve" Bjorn replied miserably. "I think you've had more than enough of that don't you?" Ingvar asked gently "the agonies both of you have suffered are more than either of you deserved regardless of what the pair of you think you did. Anna tortured herself for years that she drove you away with her temper, her mood swings, her need of  you, her phobias, her constant nightmares. She never once blamed you for going with Lena, she said you deserved to be happy after what she'd done. She was mortified at her behaviour after Christian was born but she really wasn't very well Bjorn. She felt she was holding you back, she said you were right to find someone normal" Bjorn snorted acidly "Normal?? Yeah look how THAT turned out. Biggest regret of my life. How could she think those things? They were never true, not ever" "Perhaps you two have finally learnt how to communicate in other ways than passion and bickering" suggested Ingvar "I may be old but I am not blind nor have I forgotten my early years with Birgit" Bjorn suddenly had sympathy with Linda as he found himself in the position that he and Anna had put her in when they were discussing similar issues and although he appreciated and understood what Ingvar was saying he fought the urge to squirm. If this was all Ingvar was going to throw at him then he considered that he'd got off lightly "You're right" he allowed "we've fought hard to get where we are today and I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her. We will never stop working on us" "No and you'll give her back her world, you've already made a good start" he finished the conversation by giving Bjorn a bear hug that robbed him of breath and his "Glad to have you back Son" made Bjorn's eyes sting as he returned the hug with equal fervour.
His first meeting with Birgit had been just as fraught in its own way, she'd walked in the door after his conversation with Ingvar and fixed him with eyes identical to Anna's while Ingvar was hugging Anna and shouting for the kids, all of them Bjorn noted thankfully as he endured Birgit's unwavering stare. He had been just about to break the silence that he considered had become uncomfortable when Birgit said "Enough now Bjorn. You are both done with this drama, I don't like what has happened but it seems we've come full circle and now perhaps life can get back to normal. This time stay where you belong, I don't think I could survive this again much less Anna. Are you sure now?" she demanded softly "More sure than I've ever been about anything Birgit, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what has happened and I'm sorry for what will come but I am here to stay. With all of you" he added for good measure, he remembered the issues that Anna's Mama coped with. Anna was not so different he mused. The smile that Birgit unleashed was stunning and Bjorn blinked "Its about time, let me meet your children Bjorn?" she asked softly and Bjorn took that as the final acceptance that he craved and another piece of his fractured life settled back into its rightful place
Bjorn was shaken out of his musings by Anna jiggling his arm "Hey, where have you gone?" she questioned "I was talking to you and you're away with the fairies" Bjorn smiled down at her "Sorry, I was just remembering the first time I met your parents after you took me back and thinking what a miracle it is that they've accepted me back and Emma is out with your family" "Our family Bjorn" Anna corrected softly "and even though you won't tell me I suspect Papa gave you a hard time" Bjorn chuckled "he would have been well within his rights to Anna, he ought to have knocked me out because I would have done if the positions had been reversed but he gave me the talking to that I wish he'd given me when we were having trouble all those years ago. He told me things that I needed to hear. He's your Papa and he was right to defend you, then he hugged me and called me 'Son' " Anna grimaced "I'm sorry" "Well I'm not sorry, I'm grateful and happy" Bjorn told her calmly "He accepted me home, he said they would love Emma and Anna like you do and they have"  "and Mama?" Anna questioned while Bjorn was in a mellow mood "she gave me the famous Faltskog glare and basically told me I'd better not mess up this time" he shuddered comically "That glare, all of you have it, your Mama, you, Mona and Christian. Coming from your Mama it froze me to the spot until she'd said her piece and your Papa made me feel like I did when I took you on our first date but it all needed to happen and look what we're building bit by bit" He kissed her again "and I'm allowed to do this" his hand crept under her top and unerringly found it's intended target with no hesitation making her gasp and her eyes flutter closed before it burrowed under her leggings and cupped her bottom making her eyes fly open again as he squeezed her bum hard "and I'm allowed to do this too" the cheeky grin he sent her way melted her heart  "What else am I allowed to do Anna?" he asked "Whatever you want" she moaned "What EVER  I want Anna Bella?? That's dangerous talk from you. Do you promise?" he teased. Her eyes shot open and Bjorn was delighted to see the ice blue flames of her passion fully alight "I promise Bjorn, for the rest of my life I promise" and just like that it wasn't a game anymore for either of them. "Don't promise what you can't deliver Bjorn" she said huskily "Don't tease me anymore, we have time" "You're making me repeat myself again Anna" he said as he wrestled her out of her shirt "Make sure you hear me this time, it'll never be enough, no matter how many lives we live together I'll never get enough of you and I always deliver my promises"