" You're special." [Minsung]

entry [12]

Dear, Minho.

I hope you're doing good! Now that
I'm gone, are you happy? I bet you are! If you're happy, than I'm happy.
How's your relationship going? Good? Nice to, hear.
If you're reading this, than that means, you, ya lucky dude, found it! You found my journal! Congratulations!

If you're reading this Min, I'm most likely already gone, but hey! I'll still be in your heart right? I'm joking, I'm joking.

You're possibly wondering a few things, so, I'll answer a few questions I think you'll have.
If you're wondering, 'why?'
The answer is so simple! I found myself wondering 'why?' as well!
I wasn't happy.., that's the short answer! You're probably also wondering, ' how long?' how long have I planned this, well not too long, but long enough to yearn with anticipation for the day to come, maybe you're thinking, ' I thought' you thought what? That I didn't know? That I didn't realize the lies? That I would never care enough to know? Well you thought wrong maybe you'll say, ' I think' you think what? I'm 'selfish' just like you've told me before? You'd probably say Im selfish, for simply wanting, to be 'happy' well, I 'wish' you'd realize, and just stop. I did both of us a favor, you asked if I was 'okay' but Min, I'm more! Than okay, we both 'needed' this, we needed, to be 'free' you get to be happy with him, you don't have to worry about me, you'll never get caught, or need to worry about the time, you can love him, openly. As for me, I'm free, Ill be happy, this, this is my happiness.
Do you remember when you first said you loved me Minho? I was overwhelmed with joy! And the first kiss we shared! On the bridge? I remember! Do you min? It was after you had told me I was special, the night you asked me to be your boyfriend, it felt amazing, I was so, happy, yet all good things must come to an end, right?

I loved you, I really did Minho, but, you, you just didn't love me, you never had to, but you lied, and said you did.
You love him, and I get it, he's amazing, he's so kind, charismatic, he has a loveable personality, he's also quite the looker, ay? Wouldn't you agree? I mean you love him, after all, he's special, is he not?

I mean who else would be special to you? Certainly not me.

Love you still Min, goodbye.♡

-Jisung

_______________________________________

I felt tears streaming down my face, my vision becoming blurry.
I found it, I read it, and I regret it.
As I read the last thing he ever wrote, the memory of his lifeless body laying before me, flashed continuesly in my head, I regret so, so much, I wish, I could go back and tell him I love him, just like I first had. It's been 2 years,
Yet, it's too late, he's gone, and all I have left are his last 11 journal entrys, and his suicide note.

-Lee minho.