I Need Memories 「Atsuhina」

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⊱• They remain with us forever, like a touchstone •⊰

Damn winter. Damn every season. Why do seasons exist, anyway?

I couldn't go to the beach. And I had everything prepared, too. Blankets, picnic lunches, volleyballs. But the snow ruined everything.

I glare out the window at the falling flakes. Curse them to hell and back. My feet are tingling. Dammit, I haven't been outdoors in so long.

Since my release from the hospital last week, my room has been my only habitat. As if I'm an ancient tree that has taken roots here. I don't even like my room. It feels too big for one person.

I asked Samu where my roommate is. He told me I never had a roommate. Well, that's that, I guess. But I can't shake the feeling that my room has suddenly doubled in size.

All I've seen is snow and more snow for the past week. Piling up on roads, slipping into boots. A perpetually growing white carpet, unwanted and unnecessary.

I wish I lived in a desert. Maybe then-

No, scratch that. Then I'd have to deal with sand and that's worse.

What is the perfect place? Plains are good. The tropics. I'll move to Southeast Asia or Central Africa and settle there. No snow, no sand. Good for the soul. Hey, even coasts can work. I'll just set up camp near the beach and never come back.

I don't know how long I stand watching the snow fall outside my window.

Fuck this.

I walk out and take my bicycle for a ride.

Black jacket, black boots, blue scarf, white earmuffs. Gloves with fox prints. Empty fingers, no rings. I make a roster of what I'm wearing so I don't forget. Doctors said that was a possibility: I may have trouble forming new memories or retaining the memories I make for a while. Kind of scary if you think about it. So I don't think about it.

Nobody is out in this weather. You need to be crazy to be out in this weather. Or desperate. I happen to be a bit of both right now.

I don't paddle. The roads are too dangerous for that. Even as I walk with the blue bicycle keeping me company, I make sure to avoid every freezing puddle in my way. Call it a residual fear from the accident, but ... Well, there's no harm in being careful, is there?

I halt in my path.

Wow. That's something Omi-kun would say. The accident seems to have changed me more than I thought.

The next puddle I come across, I stomp right into it, splashing my boots in the process. I have no time for caution. I never did.

When I pay attention to my surroundings again, I see him.

A boy. He looks around my age, but is much shorter. Wearing a black jacket that is two sizes too large on him. Same white earmuffs as mine. A Hello Kitty cap is pulled low over his head. Bright tendrils of red (auburn? orange?) hair peeks from under it.