lost in my own mind.

As I walk out onto the crisp and cold grass, I take a deep breath in and savor the moment. This is one of the final times I walk out on my parent's porch at home. Where I was raised and grew up, where I made memories with my friends. There was a chance I might never see it again.

"It's weird to think I probably will never see this house again." I say to my Mom, "Why did we even have to move anyway? It wasn't for work now, was it?"

"There's a reason I don't tell you much of anything." my Mom said jokingly.

We wandered back inside to a copious amount of boxes, I was going to college. It was truly a weird feeling. There were lots of mixed emotions. I was excited to go out on my own, sad to leave my parents, anxious about things possibly going wrong.

"I'm really going to miss you guys. I'm really worried about something going wrong. Do you think anything will happen?" I had said to my parents, holding back tears.

"Nothing will happen, dear." my parents said in unison.

My parents, along with my little brother, helped me play Tetris with the boxes to get them to all fit in my car, my extremely tiny Ford Focus. It was unbelievably difficult to do it. Somehow, we did it! We all celebrated by getting a small muffin each and clinking them together like we had wine glasses. We sat down at the table and started talking about how many memories we had all of us together in the house. It was a sentimental moment. My mom and I started tearing up, my brother and my dad just laughing at our tears.

We all say our final goodbyes, unknowingly of what was to happen while I was away.

The drive was a long haul for my car, but if I needed anything my Dad was driving behind me. My little brother had given me his favorite Minecraft stuffed animal, and that was a compliment in itself, given as he practically hates me. It will match my dorm, hopefully, I won't be judged by my school friends by it.

By the time I had gotten to college, everyone that I grew up with, from elementary school, middle school, even high school, knew I had extreme anxiety. Not so much depression, but light amounts here and there. My room at home was always messy, I had therapy every week. Now though, thanks to me moving out-of-state for college, I won't have a therapist that I've had since I was about seven. It's a weird feeling. I've known Carlee for what feels like my entire life, but now, it's likely I'll never see her again. My last therapy appointment with her was a weird one. We both cried because we knew how much we were going to miss each other, she would bring me food, and I would do the same with her.

I approach her with a basket of goodies in my hand, "Since this is our last time being together, have these. When I was at the store, I really didn't know what to get. So I got everything. There's everything from M&M's to Snickers-" I had gotten cut off mid-sentence

"I can see what there is, Ms. Annie Haggs, you don't need to tell me." We both laugh, getting ready for our appointment.

We walk inside Carlee's nice and put together office. She wanted to go for a boho aesthetic, so she delivered. It had plants, too many to count, with baby pink and grey touches here and there, making it seem cozy and comfortable.

It was about an hour and a half later, I had finished talking to her, and she walked up to me and went, "Honey, I canceled my appointments for the rest of today, let's do something fun together. Let's end this with a Bang!" Knowing what she was doing, she referenced my favorite band, AJR. "Like what I did there, Annie?"

I laughed and replied back, "Yes, I do like what you did, now we gotta go put our best faces on, and pretend you know the song!"

We walk off laughing, discussing what we will do together. Going off to an ivy league school like Columbia was stressful. I knew it would be worth it to get into such a good school, for my bioengineering major.