THE DRUGGIE. J. JUNGKOOK.

four.

LEGACY OF THE HEART

there were numerous ways to distract oneself from pain, methods to cope and how depression can be managed.

distraction? it does not mean that the pain is no longer there. it just means that you use your brain to focus your attention onto something else.

you can put your pain in the background and focus instead on something you were fond of.
and in that way, jungkook did.

jungkook mounted his new set of customized wheels on the bottom of his skateboard, holding it as if it was his most prized possession with a grin on his face.

"clean deck, jeon." his friend ruffled his hair as he peeked over jungkook's shoulder, admiring the sight of the new design he had.

he pushed himself off the floor with his new built board, walking towards the ramps previously occupied by other individual people, letting the skateboard fall against the smooth surface before setting his feet at an angle.

the teen bent his legs, allowing himself to drop down with the design of the curvy ramp and finding a secret pleasure in the wind brushing against his physique.

the skatepark somehow defined vagueness with absolute clarity, the pretty graffiti seamlessly blending into the grey concrete.

it was like an artists dream, a bewitching combination that made him feel that this path that he were walking on was the only place where two contrasts could be the best compliments.

jungkook could only yearn to have time like this away from the fucked up world around him.
as he was skating down another ramp, he watched his friends gather around a particular person, all having their heads lowered to hide whatever the hell they were doing.

the person wore a black hoodie, appearing very mysterious to him, it was enough to lure him off his own skateboard to snoop.

"thanks." devin shook hands with his dealer, his opposite hand grasping onto a brown paper bag.
jungkook watched him slap a $20 bill into his palm before he managed to leave the premises without any glares.

"is that-"
"the fun has arrived." he cheered excitedly.

it brought a sweet rush to his fingers knowing that this was indeed, an illegal substance. he lit it up and watched as the tube before his lips filled with the white tendrils of burning toxins.

jungkook rolled his joint up, the tube being now filled with the green substance. he then sucked in and felt as that sweet burning sensation curled throughout his lungs and throat, ripping its way to his head.

he finally let it out in a huge cloud watching the street lamps create abstract colors out of the light mist still hanging in the air.

he felt an arm drape itself around his shoulder, pulling him closer to their side as he was met with yoongi's bloodshot eyes.

he could sense the drowsiness by the way he rambled on about his personal issues, jungkook snatching the alcohol away from his friends loose grip.

"you need to get home yoon..."
devin called his driver while everyone hurriedly picked up yoongi from his position, he lacked awareness due to the absorption of the drugs and alcohol.

when the car had arrived, they put yoongi into the backseat when devin looked back at the last person who sat there staring off into the distance with the joint lingering from his chapped lips.

"kook, you coming?"
"i'll be staying. get him home safe for me, you guys too." jungkook smiled lightly to his friend, watching him run to the black vehicle and driving off.

the 17 year old had been inebriated every day of his life for the past 4 years or so. he had been fired from countless jobs to try to stabilize his family, but was now getting better at hiding his bad habits.

he drank just a little less than the amount that would slur his words and hoped the rosiness of his cheeks didn't give him away.

it was surprising how he hasn't laid on his death bed just yet, consuming all the bad essences at such a young age til now.

he struggled at last picking himself off the hard floor with his skateboard in his hands, tossing the empty alcoholic drink into the nearby trash can, quietly walking himself home.

the building he stood in front of towered over his small form, his headache throbbing in pain as the house appeared to be moving in his blurry vision.

using what was left of his strength, he pushed open the door of his wrecked home to be met by his mother, arms folded over her chest and stomping towards him in a rigid manner.

"where were you?" she seethed through her teeth sternly, jungkook slipping off his black converses before pushing past her.

his mother's high sensitivity was able to catch on to what her son was out all night for, the reek of alcohol and stench of drugs she could recognize so well.

"first weeks of your senior year and you're already stoned." the older woman glared him down and grabbed his wrist, spinning him around.

"don't." jungkook yanked her filthy hands off his body, returning the gaze she granted him.
and once again, the silence consumed the two of them. a heavy breathing let out by her son, she couldn't even view him the same anymore when he was her little boy.

"i didn't grow you up like this, jeon." he scoffed.
"then who did? don't you dare blame your evil on father."

his harsh words dug up memories that shouldn't have been waken, tears began to prickle at his eyes.
"he left us jungkook! how many times must i tell you?" she raised her voice, watching him clench his jaw as he inched closer.

her powerful guard lowered at the tears produced in his eyes that he refused to let fall down his cheeks.
"he didn't just abandon us, mother."

he believed eventually all things fall into place. until then, scoff at the confusion, live through the hatred, and know everything happens for a reason.

some will hurt, betray and make us cry. some will teach us a lesson, not to change us, but to make us be a better person.

a delivered force upon his face turned his head to the side, the physical pain was a feeling of burning on the cheek and a mild pain of the jaw.

ms.jeon slowly let down her red hand she used to slap him, adjusting her posture to prove she wasn't weak.
"you think your dad gave a shit about us? you don't know anything!"

jungkook looked back at the woman in front of him, all his confidence vanishing into thin air.
"i know one thing."

"say it then." she gritted her teeth, watching the tears finally roll down his red cheeks as he poked his finger at her chest crudely.

"you, mother, are incapable of raising your own son properly."

he was weak, crying was natural and strong for it belongs to those with the courage to show their vulnerable self.

but jungkook wasn't pleased to know that.
he sat in his room experiencing a blend of emotions, induced sensations in his chest, muscle tightness, increased heart rate, and shortness of breath.

his hand clamped over his mouth as he cried harder in sorrow, not wanting to wake up his mother to scold him for another reason.

the urge he felt to chuck his phone out the window after trying to call his dads number rose drastically, perhaps he changed it ever since he left him with his mom.

jungkook cried as if his brain was being shredded from the inside, emotional pain flowed out of his every pore. from his mouth came a cry from so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around him were suddenly wet with tears out of pity.

he grabbed onto the sheets so that his violent shaking would not cause him to fall, now there was only pain enough to break him. the world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. the taste. the smell. everything was just gone, he failed again.

전정국