Crossmare oneshots

2021

Hey guys I'm gonna post a real chapter tomorrow hopefully but I just thought I needed to say this. So 2020 sucked..I think we can all agree on that but I'm hoping 2021 will be better.....anywho what I want to say is this and sorry if I'm going to go on a rant but I think its important and people need to hear this...okay so you are loved. It could be a complete stranger who you met one day,it could be your parents/legal guardians, it could be family, it can be friends, it could even be the people in the comments. In my oneshots the way I write nightmare is that he is a caring octopus who loves his family aka the bad guys. I can relate to him although I don't lead a group of sexy skeletons that kills people and I'm not a sexy hentai octodaddy,but I do care..about all of you. In school I'm in the marching band and I'm a section leader for the flutes (basically a section leader is the leader for a certain instrument) what I do is basically make sure my fluters get their music memorized, get in the right spot, and basically be a mom. I make sure each person knows that they are loved and cared for. That's how I think of you guys, you are just like my flute babies, the only difference is I don't actually know you guys. Look I know 2020 has been a struggle and I know how bad mental illnesses suck. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and its been hard for me to deal with all this stuff. I constantly overthink and I think I'm not good enough sometimes or I worry that I bother people and I say sorry a crap number of times where it annoys people which makes me say sorry again. I have ADHD,OCD, Insomnia, and I suffer from terrets which makes me do a bunch of stupid stuff like wanting to punch and scream at something or even as bas as trying to hurt myself just to feel pain. I also have vitamin D efficiency and I'm pretty sure I have anemia(which basically makes you tired 24/7) I have a shit immune system and I'm sick 24/7 along with i black out a lot and I'm constantly dizzy and nauseous. I'm also get  dehydrated(make sure you drink that water kids)  very easily and I have a hard time eating. I'm taking 10 different types of medicine each day and being allergic to everything outside doesn't really help. I'm telling you this because you need to know you aren't suffering alone, they're over 10 billion people on this earth and they are going through the same thing or even worse, so you are NOT alone. Everyone cares about you whether you know them or not. If you religious the God you believe in cares about you very much, if your atheist you have family,friends, God, and even strangers that care about you. Cutting,taking pills, getting high, drinking, and suicide does not get you anywhere yeah it might make you feel better but its jut hurting you. Its hard to stop I understand because I've been there but I ended up talking to some friends who helped me realize that it only makes you hurt even more. I started to tell my mom all the stuff I was going through and it honestly helped, a lot. There is help all around you whether its a teacher, police officer, family, or friends. Just someone you know and trust and they will help you. Therapy also helps, many people don't believe it but it really does. I've suffered from anxiety for 10 years now and I'm 17, so I know how it feels. My first therapist only gave me medicine and it helped but they didn't talk to me but I ended up having a couple of years without suffering but school started to stress me out and my anxiety came back, but now I see a therapist who helps me with my anxiety, Insomnia, depression, even person stuff. For example I've been sexualy harassed by my ex when I was a freshman he would abuse me mentally and it was very toxic ive finally gotten over it thanks to my therapist and my mom. I know talking doesn't help everybody so they're other things. Doing things you enjoy helps, even simple things like counting helps. If it distracts you then its a good way to help with anxiety. What I do is I see 5 things I can taste,smell, touch, and hear and I focus on those things. Listening to music,drawing, and writing also helps. I have to tell myself constantly that I'm okay and that everything will be okay. Another thing about anxiety is that you have to learn your triggers. If you learn your triggers it can help you manage it. Some of mine are sirens, closed spaces, and crowded spaces.. For my depression I used to cut, I was to scared to take pills, or actually kill myself because I'm scared of death,but I thought about it constantly and the best thing I did that helped was me talking to someone and positive thinking. I'm a very negative person so each day I say good things about myself and what I like. I try not to focus on the bad stuff because trust me they're is a lot. I do stuff that makes me happy and thats healthy for my body. I had to cut a lot of stuff from my life like friends and even stuff that I like because what comes in goes out. To help me stop cutting id grab a pencil and every time I wanted to hurt myself I would break that pencil. I'd break sticks,pencils, rip of leaves, or I'd draw or write. I'd write about what I'm feeling and sometimes it would replace the feeling. I won't lie to you its hard and it does take commitment but if you truly want it to stop you will put in the effort. Also you have to remember, its not going to go away over night like I said I still have anxiety and my depression has gotten better but its not fully gone. It took me 2 years to finally stop cutting and wanting to kill myself. But it makes you so much better when you stop. Sometimes I still have to distract myself because the thought and want to hurt myself comes back but I just do something else and I tell myself that it's only making things worse and the people that love me wouldn't want me doing this. Im still trying to figure out ways to deal with my insomnia the main thing I can tell you that's helped is get some medicine. Melatonin is a over the counter medicine that helps but it may not work for you. Another way is to make yourself so tired that you can fall asleep easily,this includes moving around a lot, doing something that absolutely drains you, or you can just blink like super duper fast until you eyelids go to sleep. Another thing I do is close my eyes and imagine a story or a dream you would like to have, that usually knocks me out. Listen you gotta eat and drink, im struggling of it and its making me feel tired, sick and just exhausted. With water what I have to do is force myself to drink because dehydration is no joke and you need water to survive.  What I do is that I make a goal for myself. You are supposed to drink about 8 water bottles a day I think so what I do is that I say okay today I'm going to finished 1 water bottle. If I do that the next day I say I'm going to drink 2 water bottles and each day u complete it you go up. I'm currently stuck at 4 water bottles. You can make it into a game if you want. With eating, you can do the same thing. I have to force myself to eat because I could probably go a week without eating and I have but it sucls and its not healthy. For you people that are anorexic,you are beautiful/handsome the way you are. Each body was created for you and its unique and special and you don't have to worry about what people think about it. If they do then own it. If someone tells you a mean comment, take it as a compliment, it will fuck with them and honestly it helps you not give a fuck about what other people say. I'm not really anorexic but I do have some stomach problems that make it hard to eat. Its like every time I eat something it just makes me want to throw up and its the same thing for water. I take medicine for it now so its gotten way better but its hard. ADHD is a pain. You have a hard time focusing and you just gotta move around and if your like me it causes your anxiety to flare and it makes my terrets go haywire. Medicine helps and drinking caffeine helps(well it does for me) distraction is a huge help for adhd if you find something that is distracting you can go hours without having any problems.  Remember that you are amazing and wonderfully created. If you have any of these problems please talk to someone, you can talk to someone you trust, or you can even contact me and text me I will happily help. I suck at talking to people but I have gone through a lot so I might know how to deal with it, you can even go into the comments. I've watched a lot of videos and the people on the comments are so amazing, they help you and can be your biggest supporters, some are bitches but some can help you. I hope this helps someone, just remember that you are not alone and someone cares about you. Also if you are thinking about suicide please call the suicide hotline or tell someone. It's not worth killing yourself, it just causes so much sadness. For the people around you and close to you. Feel free to message me if you need help and I will gladly help, its not as good as a professional but I will try my best. Also go to the comments or other people. They could be dealing with the same thing. I love you guys so much and yall are the best