The Tangled Web We Weave

JR

            Have you ever had that feeling , you know the one where everyone is staring at you? It’s as if time has stopped and their eyes are still glued to the back of your neck. Maybe I’m paranoid or self conscious about the tangled mess that was once a neat bun. However, I can promise you, everyone is looking at how horrid my hair looks. Class is over, back to the library; the only place where I can do homework, read books and escape from the doldrums of my life.

There, that place, that’s where I find solace. The only thing that sucks is that I’m always finding solace alone. Granted, if I were to find solace with someone else, that would be companionship, not solace but, who cares, its my feelings and I’ll explain them to my liking.

I like school and all but, sometimes, I feel so alone. You know, that alone , where, there could be five thousand other people in a dank dark room that has a capacity of let’s say, four thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine and everyone’s cramped inside but, you still feel like you’re standing by yourself. Like, there’s only thirty people there and not a multitude, yeah, that’s the way I feel.

Now, that isn’t to say I always feel this way, or that I crave human interaction, it’s just that, having  a genuine conversation would be nice. I want more than a “Hey how’s it going Junior” and then a power walk session in the opposite direction in like one minute flat.

I want to know how it feels when someone talks with you about life, or anything other than the formalities of greetings or  how’s things been since high school.  Granted, there are lots of kids that go here from my high school but our relationships usually end at “hi”. Which is kind  of funny because, things usually begin with the word hi, but, whatever, you get the point. I wish I knew someone, anyone, because being alone is starting to feel lonely.

That's the feeling I always got when I was by myself which was the majority of my day. The only break from the quietness of my life was the few hours a day when my two best friends would interrupt my normal life with their crazy antics. Sometimes I wish I could be like them but then I realize what I'm wishing and quickly take it back. My life may be quiet but it's something I'm used to. It's just the way my life is.

***

Why is it so hot outside? The humidity alone is too high, my hair’s beginning to poof, how aggravating, the weather report said it was going to be 50°.  For once, just once, I would like the incompetents who work at WSVN to get the report right but, I guess it’s not their fault, seeing though they probably can’t read the lines being read to them.

Right now I’m power walking to class, which is funny because I’m always 15 minutes early. Arriving at my class I sat down quickly in the front making sure that I could see the board I’m hoping class ends soon , my stomachs starting to growl and the girl behind me is beginning to give me weird glances. Finally, the torture is over.

Collecting my things I rushed out the door heading to get something to eat. Swiftly dodging by people deciding to stop and talk to significant others or just random friends in the middle of the walkway. How inconsiderate of them. I'm alreadly late and I don't need them slowing me down.

The obnoxious ringer that was put on my phone by Laci begins to ring and instantly I groan as others begin to take notice of me. It's blaring in my pocket and I have no choice but to stop and answer it. Someone behind me grumbles and I realize that I've now become that person I was talking about seconds before. Oh joy.

"Yes?" I question the other person on the phone.

"JUNIOR!" She shouts into the phone causing me to grimace and hold it away from my ear fearing permanent hearing loss.