Cross My Heart and Hope You Cry | The Clique Fanfiction

18

The Block Estate

Massie's Suite

Friday, September 18th

7:32 PM

A white sheet had been hung up on Massie's far wall, outlined with glittering gold fairy lights in teeny bulbs. Their satin sleeping bags had been laid out on top of Massie's shag purple carpet in a half-circle facing the sheet, outfitted with extra-fluffy pillows. A raised tray before each mattress was scattered with rose petals which held a tealight lantern, a Perrier lemon-lime seltzer, and a crystal bowl of snacks. She could tell which one was hers (on the right end of the circle next to Alicia whereas Dylan's was on the left next to Massie) by the fresh yoghurt and sliced fruit in the snack bowl and dropped her duffle bag beside it. Alicia and Dylan followed her in, gossiping about something that she was too anxious to truly listen to.

She was absolutely drowning under the guilt of what they'd done to Claire.

Massie, Alicia nor Dylan seemed to care about getting her blacklisted, and Alicia was particularly ruthless in her quips (she was still hung up on Claira calling her a mutt) and bullying. It was like the beginning of seventh grade all over again with the four of them against the blonde. She felt a lot dirtier this time, however; because Claire had been a friend --a good friend too-- and because they were only kicking her while she was already down on her knees.

She and Claire had been close in a way that she wasn't with the rest of the Pretty Committee despite the four of them having been friends for longer. They bonded over their too-rich friends and the absurdity of some of the things they did that she simply couldn't grasp. They'd become friends in the comradery of being the 'poor' girls of the clique (although she always tried to tell herself that she was just middle class and Massie, Dylan and Alicia were simply grossly wealthy . . . the reassurance didn't usually work). She and Claire were able to talk and joke about things that the three of them simply didn't get. They had a shared joy when H&M or Abercrombie went on sale as they knew the rich girl trio would scoff and demean them in a way they would think is harmless but would cut into their self-esteem like nothing else. They joked about the weird fashion on high-class runways when Alicia would call it revolutionary before Massie would butt in with a snide comment about, "You two just wouldn't get it. It's a little above your pay grade." They commiserated when one of the girls would say something offhandedly that would only make them embarrassed (Can you believe that Sera is still wearing last season's Chanel bag - what, did her dad get laid off and she couldn't afford the new one? So tacky . . .), not that the others ever noticed.

Claire made the Pretty Committee bearable. She hadn't even recognized how unbearable it was until Claire had officially joined their group and she noticed the shared emotion in her expression whenever they did something insensitive. But now that she recognized it, now that she knew, it was getting harder and harder to sit and say nothing without having someone to vent and talk about it with later. The comments seemed to hit a lot harder now that there was no armor to shield it.

She missed Claire. She missed how she fit into their clique. She missed the late night text conversations and their shared looks of amusement and she felt so guilty over what she'd done. She'd blackmailed her! Blackmailed her with something that she'd said to her in confidence in a moment of weakness and she'd just thrown it back in her face like nothing. She hadn't even hesitated before showing Massie her phone because she'd been angry in the same way that Massie had.

She was mad that Claire had left her. Left them. That she had been able to talk freely with the people she could only interact with under the safe cover of the internet . . . she'd been jealous. She didn't want Claire to have what she never could as part of the Pretty Committee and yet she'd admired her for doing something that she was never able to do - leave them.