Jemily One Shots

I didn't even blink

Hiiii, so this quick angsty one-shot is pre-relationship. I've been diving more into JJ's character lately so I have more coming up that is focused on her. I think she's very underrated in the criminal minds world and we don't talk enough about the sh*t she's been through so here is my first attempt at JJ RIGHTS. There will definitely be more one-shots coming up focusing on her trauma and how she and Em's relationship evolved from it. 

"I didn't even blink," She said. Lying through her teeth, well mostly lying.

She didn't blink, she didn't think, she just pulled the trigger. It was for her best friend, there were no second thoughts needed. Jennifer Jareau had always been pretty guarded, never showing any negative emotions, keeping the "liaison face" when things started to get difficult. She had managed to trick almost everyone in her life that she was okay.

She learnt this useful trick at a mere 11 years old days before her sister's funeral. That morning she practiced the face, the voice, the persona she needed to show to the world in order to pretend she was okay. Her parents were in so much grief they couldn't notice the act she was putting on. Maybe that's why she was such a good media liaison. Comforting grieving spouses, parents, children telling them that everything will be okay when she herself knew it probably wouldn't be for a while. Once again lying through her teeth. Every day she would go to work, spend hours with desperate police officers on the phone asking for their help, going through hundreds of request files and have to pick a single case for the team. Which one was the most important? The 3 young boys kidnapped in South Dakota or the 6 murdered prostitutes in San Diego? Which one of these lives deserved the team's attention. She had already been at the breaking point of her job when Penelope Garcia, her best friend in the world was shot. She had barely survived. Holding on to Emily's hand at the hospital waiting room distracted her, for a bit at least, from the grief that overcame her body that day.

So when Derek asked her, she didn't think, she grabbed her gun, snuck up behind the unsub and shot him point-blank in the forehead.

She had never had to shoot someone before. She shot those dogs in the barn when Reid was kidnapped but this was different. This was a human life she took. A really mean, horrible human life but a life nonetheless. Penelope had gone up to her and asked if she was okay.

"I didn't even blink" She replied "You'd do anything you can to protect your family" She continues, with that classic liaison expression she puts on. JJ never wanted to let Penelope know how much killing her shooter affected her that day.

Besides Penelope, Hotch and Reid had asked her if she was okay, she replied yes, of course. Though that day she had taken note of Emily, who always seemed close by as if waiting for her to explode in tears. Always there to be there in case she needed it. She didn't want to admit how much that actually helped, just knowing the brunette agent was there. She was even more thankful Emily didnt pry, she didn't ask questions because deep in her she knew that JJ wasn't going to give her the truth at the moment.

After the long day's events, JJ had gone home to her empty apartment, she had already changed into some comfier clothes. Leggings and a hoodie, and she had been reading a book on the couch though not paying much attention. She hadn't turned a page in over 30 minutes, thoughts clouding her brain. When a knock at the front door brought her back to reality.

On the other side of the wooden door there stood Emily, looking absolutely beautiful in a pair of sweatpants and a cozy hoodie, hair up in her classic ponytail and in her hand, a plastic bag with takeout from her favourite restaurant.

Holding all possible control left in her she muttered a "Hey"

"Thought you could use some company? And food maybe?" Emily said through a sad smile. JJ just nodded in response, moving aside to let her in the apartment.

"Want anything to drink?" JJ asked as Emily sat down on the couch.

"I'll have whatever you're having"

"Ah, good choice" JJ joked as she pulled out two glasses and a bottle of her favourite whiskey.

"Good choice indeed" Emily noted seeing the bottle in her hand.

The two sat relatively in silence working through the takeout and whiskey until Emily spoke up

"It gets easier, you know, eventually'

"I don't think I want it to get easier" JJ noted sadly

"Nobody does, the job, it has a way of ruining you before you even notice it yourself." She said looking back at her own past

"You seem to be doing alright" JJ replied taking another sip

"I have my days, which is why you should know it's okay to have yours, bad days I mean," Emily said comfortingly. JJ nodded before she continued

"I know you think that your job is easier than ours, It isn't you know, none of us know how you deal with it, Derek kinda thinks you're a robot," Emily said looking down at the ground, almost embarrassingly snickering. 'Seriously Jay-Je I'm here whenever you need to talk, or whatever else" Emily finished looking up into sparkling blue eyes.

With a final murmured thanks, JJ lowered her head to Emily's shoulder, sighing at the comforting feeling. She wrapped her hands around the toned arm to her right, And when it felt right Emily did the same, lowering her head to rest atop of the blondes. Pressing her palm to the younger agent's thigh. The two women stayed there for hours basking in each other's company, comfortable with the silence among them, JJ, now more content with herself, knowing that whatever happened, she would never lose Emily.