warmth [dreamnotfound] | ✓

chapter twenty. heavy with hoping.

9:15 PM.

George was going to withhold his promise to drive Dream to Orlando if it was the last thing he ever did and, the way he was feeling, it felt like it would be. With every mile that passed, every road sign that flickered by in reflective gold, he could feel his chest tightening and throat closing and threatening to suffocate him right there in the driver's seat.

Dream was leaning against him, one hand on his back and the other holding his. The blond's head rested as a gentle weight on his shoulder and George could feel every inhale and exhale his friend took. They sent shivers down his spine.

He didn't know what to think now. He was at a loss for even thoughts. Only Dream could manage to get him like that.

George would have a fleeting moment of clear thinking every few minutes, but it was never anything useful. Stuff like waking up beside Dream in a shared bed. Getting breakfast with him. Going on more drives. Seeing more beaches. But the daydreams could only remain pure for so long. George could only keep his desires suffocated for mere minutes before they would resurface with butterflies in his stomach and a tightening in his muscles as he thought about less wholesome activities. Kisses under stars. Hands in his hair. Bruises on his wrists. Waist. Thighs.

He had a crush. There was no way around it. He wanted Dream in more than just a friendship type of way, and even just thinking those four words made him want to crash the car into a ditch. I have a crush. George's stomach turned again, but now it didn't feel like butterflies. It felt like a tornado. I have a crush. On a boy. On my best friend.

I have a crush on Dream.

It had been that way for years. George, somewhere deep down in his subconscious, knew that he had taken a non-platonic liking to his friend way back in middle school, but he never thought he would admit it. He never thought he would be so close to the boy. He never thought he would have a chance with him.

But did he really? George thought it over as he pressed the gas a little harder, sending the black car careening over the speed limit. The sky was pitch-black now. A blank slate for his thoughts. Staring at it did nothing but fan the flames of the fire that coursed through every inch of his body and burned his skin.

After that night, George was certain he would never see Dream again. It just wasn't meant to be. And yet he wondered if it wasn't too late to change his plans. Orlando approached in the distance, looming in his mind and his vision. He could live there. He could live there and stay with Dream and confess his feelings and everything could be alright.

He let himself indulge in the idea for a moment. George let himself wonder what it would be like to live with Dream. They would wake up in the same bed in a little apartment. A skyscraper downtown. It would be a cute little place with just enough room for the two and maybe a cat. Yeah. They would have a pet cat. Dream liked cats. They had been his favorite animal back when they were kids and George guessed they were probably his favorite animal now.

Dream would go to his college and George would get a job. He would pay for the two of them with those coding skills he had been working on. They would survive off of what they had and maybe, when they had enough, he could quit and start up on that old dream of being a streamer. Yes. He could do that and he could take Dream with him. They could become famous together. As a couple.

The internet wouldn't have to know they were dating though. That could be their own little secret. Left to kisses in the night and cuddles in the morning and arms around waists and small hands wrapped in much larger ones.

It would all be enough. The two would finally be happy because that was all they ever wanted. Real happiness. George could quit his drug addiction.