the beginning

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CHAPTER 1

I have had many questions in this life, but the biggest one I have had is, "Why am I musically different?  Why can't I just stick with what everybody else I know likes?" I am not the fan of country, Gospel, rap, or pop.  I like everything, especially Beethoven, Schubert, Copland, and all the classical and art music forefathers.  I like jazz, blues, some Gospel, 1920s swing, Broadway show-tunes, classical, and older country, but it's not what society likes.  Everyone asks me, "Why don't you get a real job?  You know, something that will bring in money?"  I say, "I was once told that despite all the chaos and tragedy that is going on in our world today, it seems that music is the most real thing that the world has anymore."  Then I get laughed at and people walk away.

You know, I was not always like this.  I used to be a naive fan of all music.  I used to like it all.  Gospel, both old and modern country, pop, jazz, blues, swing, Classical, Renaissance, Baroque, Romantic, 20th Century, and modernism.  But then I got to high school.  Up until that time, I was a normal kid who enjoyed music for music's sake.  Then I met...Angel Sims, the most beautiful human being I have ever seen.  Angel was not ripped, but he was tone, just like I like them.  Oh, I'm sorry. Let me introduce myself.  My name is Joseph K. Copeland.  No relation to the composer, Aaron Copland.  Something that may be obvious already is that I'm openly and happily homosexual.

It is extremely hard to be openly gay in the Bible Belt, which is the most homophobic area in the United States.  However, I have been able to do that fabulously in the state of Kansas.  I have had my fair share of people say that I am "an abomination to society" and that I am "going to burn in Hell for all eternity".  I just thank them for the attention and keep walking.  There are not many people here like me, so everyone acts like Matt from Dog Sees God:  Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead.  Every guy here questions how I feel about them.  Although many of the guys here are attractive, Angel is the only one I wish to call my boyfriend.

As I was saying, Angel was not ripped, but his body was tone.  He had gorgeous, wavy black hair with the dreamiest hazel eyes.  However, I don't even think he knows that this blue-eyed babyface with a fair complexion and shoulder-length brown hair has the biggest crush on him.  I first saw him in show choir.  He walked into class on the first day of high school in a partially form-fitting Old Navy V-cut shirt with a little baby blue Infinity Scarf and skinny jeans that would send a man reeling head over heels.  He took my breath away just by walking in the room.  What made it better is that he looked up at me in my pink shirt, skinny jeans, and black beret.  I heard the violins the entire day and floated from place to place.  Little did I know what was awaiting me over the next couple of days.

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