Yarn

4: Carry you

         [Mary's pov]
     "The city is beautiful, right?"
     His words echoed through my mind and heart. I quickly turned around, facing the man behind me. He was unchanged, wearing the same black hood he was wearing that night. However, his face was now clean. I removed a hair strands from my face as I locked my eyes with the ghoul. After a few moments of silence, I finally brought myself to say something:
     "I didn't expect to see you here" 'What an idiot' I screamed to myself' "I'm just surprised to see you here" I smiled at him, watching as he was stresfully rubbing his white hands against eachother. He still looked so innocent... The memories of that night, of my friends dying at this hand came back. Seidou probably sensed my sudden hatred. He took a step back, looking down.
     "I should probably go now..." said he and turned away.
      I don't know what kind of force pulled my feel off the cement but I suddenly started running towards him: "Please wait. Don't go". I stopped in front of him, barely a meter away, and reached out to him with my right hand. "Come inside", I said. His face brightened but at the same time he frowned.
     "It's alright, I just want to talk" I added.
     "About what, he replied desperately, about how I almost killed you? What a monster I become and how much you despise me?" I was the one who frowned now .
     "What are you talking-"
     "I see the way you're looking at me, Mary." he cried, cutting me off.
     I wasn't about to let him go. Oh no way that was going to happen:
     "I've spent the last years of my life looking for you. Trying to find answers. You're the only one who can give them to me right now so not even Devil himself can stop me from keeping you here". I approached Seidou and took his hand into mine. It was cold as ice too.
     "Baby, please come inside."
    
          [Seidou's pov]
     I started at the girl in front of me as she gently took my hand.
     "Baby, please come inside" she said with her sweet voice.
     "Do you even know me anymore?" I said looking at the cement again. The weight of her sight was too much to bear.  I was ashamed of all I've done since they modified my body. Created this monster. And she still called me like that...
     "No I don't, replied her calmly, as always, but I know you still are part of the man I once loved the most. And I want to save you from all this". She gently cupped my face with her other hand, forcing me to look her in the eye. "What can I do for you?"
     I was overwhelmed by all these feelings: shame, being so weak in front of a human, hatred towards myself and love for her, so I did the only thing anyone would've done. I dropped to my knees and started crying.

         [Mary's pov]
     Seidou suddenly fell at my feet, his breath shaking. I was still holding his hand, as he was crying out all the bad things that happened to him. All he had done during the past years, how he ended up like this.
     "That incident was an accident. A group of ghouls attacked us and I was injured. My teammates said they'll get help but when the doctors arrived, they simply took me to an unknown place. They did things to me, messed up my insides. I once woke up during a surgery. Next to me was this... this body of a ghoul, cut open. They soon put me under anesthesics again" He paused to catch his breath and I kneeld next to him. "When I woke up I still looked like a human, but I couldn't eat nor drink human food. They forced me to eat raw meat. Shoved it down my throat" he continued. I hugged him tightly, shushing him from time to time, trying to provide some sort of comfort. My heart was aching as I heard all the things my lover had gone through.
      "I was trained, they said. I was kept in a white room for weeks. I couldn't even hear my own screams. That's where I lost my mind. When they let me out I was starving, so they made me fight against a young girl, a ghoul like me. I had to ate her in order to survive. I felt so awful I wanted to end myself but they praised me with more flesh". At this point he was a shaky mess, laying in my arms.
      "You can stop if you want to you don't have to talk about it all..."
       He looked into my eyes for once. His orbits were black, surrounded by red capillaries. They were begging me to let him finish his horrifying story. He slowly opened his mouth, trying to speak again but he choked on his own tears. I pulled him closer, gently caressing his hair, telling him how strong he was, how much I appreciate what he was doing.
     "O-one day, they let their guard down. That's when I escaped. Killed all those bastards, ate them whole and let the place a bloody mess. Then I went straight to my house and- he stopped, gagging-  then I killed my mum and fed myself from her too". The pain in his voice broke my heart, but I kept listening. "I was so hungry all the time. I killed so many people, just for fun then, only to forget my humanity. There was no was I could've gone back to what I was after doing so many bad things. I even though of killing you, he said looking at me again, but I couldn't do it. Oh Mary I'm so sorry". He cried onto my chest, tugging at my wet shirt.
     "You did what you had to do in order to survive and I don't blame you for that.  It's alright now, you're safe. You don't have to do this anymore"
     "I'm hungry. and YOU are not safe. But I promise I won't hurt you ever again I can't-"
     I shushed him again, planting a kiss on his head. "I know you won't. I know"
    
     We stood like that for another hour, maybe too. He finally calmed down, let go of me and rose to his feet. He looked broken, like a doll. "Now you know" he said in an almost stable voice "I want to- to hear from you now. Please".
     So I spoke. Everything that happened since the day he was declared dead. And he listened in peace, holding me as I held him before~

     The sky was still covered in stars when I finished my story. He looked at me and spoke. There was no trace of the sadness from before in his voice:
      "I am so proud of you, of all you've accomplished."
     I smiled, looking him in his dark eyes. They were like two shiny stars...
     We had nothing else to say so we just stood there, close to eachother, looking at the lit, vibrant city. He covered me with his hood, bringing me close to his chest.
     "I wanted us to be like this" he said, calmly "Like those people, to have a normal family, our house, kids..."
     "Even some cats." I added in a playful manner.
     He chuckled:
     "If that's what you want, sure", Seidou sighed "I'm so sorry things turned out this way"
     "It wasn't your fault" I replied, turning my face to his "Don't blame yourself for what those terrible people did to you".

          [Seidou's pov]
     The girl was lovingly looking at me
     "It wasn't your fault" she said to me. I knew that now. My only fault was not reaching out to her sooner. For a long time, I haven't felt anything except madness, but now I felt... peace? love maybe? I even forgot how those felt. I just hugged Mary tighter. We stood on the rooftop until almost all the lights around us went out.
     "You should go inside" I told her.
     I didn't receive any answer. Instead, a soft snoring escaped her lips as she shifted into my arms. She fell asleep. I gently picked her up and walked her to her room. Fortunately, it was unlocked. 'She must've forgotten it like this" I supposed. I looked for the bedroom, tugged her in bed and covered her with blankets. I looked at her bright, beautiful face:
     "Sleep well, angel" I told her as I walked out of the room, disappearing into the night, surrounded by Tokyo's lights and sound.