War With Us

After...

Anna's POV:

Memories of last night cam flooding through my head as I woke up from my dream.

I'm naked in Y/N's bed and she is only wearing her boxers. Fuck.

This is bad. It felt amazing but this is so so bad. If Micheal hears that me and her did something, he'll flip. Shit shit shit.

I need to get out of here. God, I just fucked up our friendship. I started it. I was selfish. I led her on. She confessed her love to me and she gave me the best feelings in the world, but I can't. Me and Micheal are on a break. I think I still love him.

As my head was filled with thoughts, I turned to the windows and saw the sun. I looked back at her lifeless body glowing. She slept with mer arm around my waist and our legs tangled. I could feel her everywhere. Shit. I could FEEL her. Why in the hell is she hard?

I pull up her grey sheets a little to see her boxers pulled to right below her v line. She fucking huge. It's a good thing I didn't take that dick, because there is absolutely no way that I'd be walking right now. I pull the covers back over my naked body.

I need to get out of here.

I softly and quietly as possible pull the covers off of me and pull on my shirt from the floor. I gather all my clothes and bend down to pick up my underwear.

I hear her sheets move and I see her sit up in bed focusing her eyes on her surroundings. Fuck. I guess I'll be dealing with this now. "

"Good morning Boon", she says with a smile. It going to break her when I tell her. I'm a horrible person.

I awkwardly put the clothes on the ground and tuck my hair behind my ear as I say, "uh-g-good morning". She giggles as she gets up and walks over to me. I freeze and my eyes trail her as I see her perfect body strut to me. She stops right in front off me and wraps her arms around my waist and grabs my face and pulls me in to kiss me. Damn it. I mean she's an amazing kisser but this is wrong. She's my best friend. I can't. We can't. It was a soft peck and she pulls away. She looks into my eyes and asks, "how do you feel?".

How do I feel? Y/N, I feel like I just cheated on my boyfriend with my best friend. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel like I'm going to choose the man that will constantly treat me like a trophy wife and belittle me and praise himself over the girl who I've fallen in love with since I was young. The girl that constantly shows how much she loves me. The girl that makes me so happy and feel so loved. The girl that makes me feel safe and vulnerable. The girl that gave me the best night of my life last night. The girl who was so respectful to me. We were both drunk but she didn't take advantage of that. The girl who went to bed unsatisfied because she didn't want to force sex on me. That girl.

That girl who's heart I'm going to have to break. She makes me vulnerable, and that scares me. So I won't....

She looks at me then I look at her neck, avoiding eye contact. She kisses my forehead and my hands grab her hands and pull them off.

She understands and I feel her breath drip as she pulls her hands away. She takes a small step backwards and asks, "what's wrong? Boon?".

I found it so cute that even after all of this she still calls me by my childhood nickname. As if I wasn't moaning hers last night. Stop. You can't think about that.

"We can't", I mumble, still avoiding eye contact. "What? I didn't hear?", she asks taking my hands in hers. "We can't", I mumble a little louder. "What?!", she says again. "WE CANT, OK? WE CANT", I say loudly. "Why? W-what do you mean we can't?", she says as her voice cracks.

"I mean l-last night w-was a mistake. We sho-shouldn't have done that", I say pointing to her bed and my clothes on the ground. "Why? I thought we were on the same page. What happened?", she said as her eyebrows scrunched together.

"We confessed our love to one another then I made you feel good then we cuddled asleep. Anna, I thought you said you love me?", her eyes watering as she says this. She backs even further away from Anna. "I thought what we did last night was special", she mumbled in a voice she thought I couldn't hear.

I hurt her. Damnit. I knew that doing this would hurt her, but I need to see my relationship through with Micheal. I cannot loose her as a friend. But I'm pretty sure that what I'm doing right now will probably make her hate me.

She and I both take a deep breath trying to hide the tears that threatened to come out. "Last night was amazing, like literally earth shattering because we didn't just fuck around, no you made love to me. But we can't do that Y/N. Friends don't make love. Friends don't confess their love for one another. I have Micheal", I let out in a deep breath. "W-what do you mean? When I asked last night about him, you said 'we're done'", she said making air quotes. "We are on a break. And a break that I plan on repairing with him later", I explained.

She looks away to her window and I hear sniffing. I have only ever seen her cry a handful of times. I cannot deal with it. "Anna can you please leave. I can't do this anymore and I'm about to loose my shit on you. My anger is coming back.....please leave", she says still faced away and her hands clenched. She's mad.

Y/N has always had anger problems, since we were kids. She went through anger management and therapy many times. She hasn't had an 'episode'  for a long time, and trust me when I say that you don't want her to have one. I'm never scared that she'll hit me because she doesn't physically touch the ones she loves when she's mad. She only hits things. But she screams at people. God that's unpleasant.

I walk out and close her door. I walk to my room, and open the door. I get past my door and close it. I push my back against it and I drag my back against it until I hit the floor. I sit there thinking and thinking.

I'm fucked up......no no....... I fucked up.

Ok guys your lucky I decided on doing this. Schools been kickin my ass and this is stressful.

Not proofread and always trust the process