Cherry Wine: Professor RJ Lupin

Chapter Eleven: Rapturous

A million thoughts rush through Emma's brain, what could be so important to discuss that she would need to arrive early. He had not made any effort to pass her a smile during class, no attempts to have a conversation. Had she done something wrong? Had he realized that she was broken beyond repair, and he simply could not handle being the one responsible for piecing her back together? The pit in her stomach growing as different thoughts run around in her head, the room fading in and out of her vision, her breath increasing rapidly. Was it about what had happened the other night? Was he hurt, or even worse, was it something to have to do with Sirius Black? Unable to move her feet as though they felt as though they were glued in place, she braces her hands on the desk. Closing her eyes and focusing on her breath intensely. 

If Emma hated one thing in the entire world, it was not knowing. Surely coming from never knowing much about her past and her parents, not knowing something sent her into a spiral of about a million different thoughts. Memories of her past rush to the forefront of her mind, traveling between foster homes, questioning every single person that came into her life. Searching every single day for her parents, but to always come up empty. Emma knew nothing, nothing at all about herself or where she came from. Spiraling deep into her subconscious, dark memories pushed deep below begin to resurface. Flashes of green, the sting of something distant, endless hallways and trees sprouting from walls flash before her eyes. 

Attempting to ground herself she focuses on the feeling of her chest rising and falling in an attempt to alleviate the growing feeling of anxiousness and threatening tears in her eyes. Instead, she moves her focus to the sounds of student chatter outside the classroom, the way the warm sun feels on her skin, the texture of the wooden desk underneath her fingertips, and the ever so faint smell of parchment and mahogany. With each repetition, she can feel her feet on the ground, her mind not threatening to spiral any longer. 

Slowly opening her eyes to the still empty classroom, she quickly composes herself with one last final deep breath. The room empty, and the only sound is her slowing heartbeat pulsating in her ears. Nervous that Remus would come back out of his office to see her in such a state of anxiousness, she quickly leaves the classroom wiping away the tears before opening the door. 

Leaned up against the hallway is Fred, his eyes fixed on the classroom door waiting for Emma. Giving a faint smile, she walks over to meet him, his eyes immediately filling with concern at the site of redness around her eyes. 

In an attempt to push down her emotions she starts walking down the almost empty corridor with a shaky intake of breath. Before she can get far, she feels Fred pulling her arm back to where he stood and pulled her into a tight hug without saying a word. 

His height towering over hers, her head resting on his chest several tears spilling over onto his uniform, shaking in his arms. Fred knew that there were no words to say that could make her feel better, the only thing he could do was to be there and hold her, for as long as he could. It had nothing to do with how deeply in love he was with her, she was his best friend no matter his feelings, she needed him just as much as he needed her. 

It was only when Emma pulled away from him that Fred dropped his grip from around her, Emma looking up at him apologetically the apparent stain of her tears on his chest. 

"Thank's Freddie," Emma gave him a soft smile, that he returned. 

"I'm not going to pressure you on what happened, but just know that I am here for you," his eyes bare down on hers to ensure that his point is taken. 

"Actually, nothing really happened. He just said he needs to talk to me, and well... you know how much I hate not knowing. I guess I just spiraled," she shrugs, wiping away the black smudges that are surely surrounding her eyes.