Happiness or Just a Dream? AU! Tanjirou x Giyuu

A...smile?

As I sat in the room filled with silence, the soft spring air and the beautiful sakura trees kept me company. I had always enjoyed observing my surroundings, especially the people. There was always something invigorating about how natural everything and everyone looked. It made me envy how people can have fun and be happy without thinking about the consequences or the sadness in their lives. It's like they just forget their troubles without even trying. Such a weird concept to me. How can people be so happy? What makes them so happy?

"Giyuu, I got you your Big Mac," a soft voice, that belonged to Tanjirou, said. I immediately snapped out of my thoughts and eyed him ever so slightly. The smell of pickles and meat radiating throughout the room that I started salivating and my stomach, rumbling. Tanjirou walked closer, scared to get close as he saw the crazy look in my eyes. But he, hesitantly, did and I stole the McDonalds bag from his hands. I opened it as if my life depended on it and I grabbed the Big Mac. I unraveled the paper, threw it in the trash can, and started eating the burger. The world disappeared as I ate the burger in my hands, pure ecstasy overtaking me. I hadn't eaten in so long.

Tanjirou just watched, dazed and confused as to what was happening right before his very eyes. "Ar-are you okay," he questioned, making sure I wouldn't choke. "I'm amazing," I said, a part of the Big Mac still stuffed in my mouth. I swallowed the last bit, feeling better after putting some food in my stomach.

"Aren't you gonna eat," I questioned after seeing another burger in the bag. He shook his head and took the sandwich out of the ripped bag, shaking slightly. Yet, he still held such an innocent and determined look in his eyes. He ate somewhat slower than me, his gaze never leaving the ground. I observed his every movement, waiting for him to finish.

When he ate the last piece, I took the white covers off of my legs and got up. I was dizzy for a few seconds, but I leaned on the side of the bed frame to keep from falling down. Tanjirou took arm and put it over the back of his neck and let me lean on him until I felt better. We walked through the empty building like that, never letting go. At least no one was here to call us homophobic words.

We made it to the parking lot, which was dimly lit up by what little was left of the setting sun. I told Tanjirou that I was okay enough to walk by myself, so I walked over to the sidewalk. And I started walking home, but Tanjirou called for me. I looked back, confused. "Let me at least give you a ride. You're not in great shape" he yelled from across the schools parking lot. I could say the same to you, those bruises have not been treating you well.

I accepted the ride home, I knew he would persist until I said yes and I really didn't want to stand outside arguing with someone after being beaten up. He drove up in a dirtied black car that seemed to have been passed down to him. I got into his car, hoping he wouldn't talk to me on the way home. I stated the directions to my house nonchalantly and just looked out the window.

"Do you need anything else?" I pondered the question. Do I need anything else? I mean a family and a general direction in life would be nice. I stayed silent, not wanting to answer the question. "Not much of a talker, huh?" Wow, what made you figure that? I looked over, Tanjirou's eyes still on the road. Yet, he looked as if he longed for something.

"What made you think that," I sarcastically stated, rolling my eyes in the process. "Hmm, maybe it was the silence," he sarcastically responded back. I was enlightened that he even knew how to speak sarcastically. Guess you learn something new everyday, huh?

"Did you just smile," Tanjirou asked cheerfully. I don't know, did I smile? How did he even notice if he was driving? I was phased by this question. I haven't smiled in years, and this guy can make me smile in less than two hours. Who is he? "Did I," I queried him, not really moving.

"I saw your lips curl up a bit, meaning you smiled," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone. I crossed my brows, pondering on what he had just said. My mind was racing with thoughts. Did I feel happy? How did he get me to smile? What is going on? and Do I even deserve to feel happy or to smile? Reoccurring thoughts all wollopped inside my head, just ready to burst.

"I- uh have to go," I said, panicking and fleeing from the now stopped car. I hadn't even noticed we arrived at my home, but I would have gotten out regardless where we were. I was done with the conversation and needed a safe place to calm down and regenerate my mental stability. "Bye, I guess," Tanjirou had raised his voice to say so I'd be able to hear it. I turned around, gave him an awkward frown as well as a wave of my hand, and went inside. I collapsed by the door, breathing in and out to calm myself down. I think I was about to have another anxiety attack.

I sat at the door for about fifteen minutes before I decided to get up and go to my room. I lived in a fairly small house. I didn't need much to survive since I was the only one left of my family. I slowly walked down the hallway, trying to focus on the things around me as a way to ground myself and not stir my anxiety any more than it had been today.

I made it to my fairly sized room. It was pretty blank, like no one even lived there. Everything was just white and full of normal things that most people had. It was normaler than normal. Is Normaler even a word? Probably not.

I lay my backpack on the ground and threw myself onto my bed. Why does socializing have to be so exhausting? Ugh, why does life have to be so cruel? And with that, I rolled over and sighed. I grabbed my laptop and started on my homework for the night. It was the only thing keeping me sane. Or more like it was making me insane so it cancelled out my insanity from earlier to make me sane. That doesn't even make sense. I shouldn't even exist.

My mind was making me depressed, again. I shut my computer off, not caring about my assignments. I got up, took a shower so I didn't smell like the trash I actually am, and plopped on my bed again. As soon as I hit the bed, my eyelids became heavy and I had succumbed to sleep. Maybe I'll actually get a decent night's rest for once.