A World Not My Own

Connie's Lone Tear

Thats also how he found himself outside Connie's room.

Marco figured that talking to Connie was better than talking to Jean, no matter what Sasha told him he couldn't face him just yet.

He knocked his knuckles on the door.

"Connie?" He calls.

"Go away Marco" A voice snaps.

"Connie" He pleaded.

No answer.

To his surprise the door was not locked. Though tightly jammed by something. With great affort Marco managed to push the door open.

A chair appeared to be the culprit locking the door.

Marco managed to move it out of the way with some difficulty.

Connie was on his bed, he was holding something tightly in his hands as soon as Marco entered he put what ever he'd been holding on his desk turning it upside down, so it was facing the ground.

Marco quickly realised as he walked towards Connie hesitantly it was some sort of portrait that he had turned upside down so Marco couldn't see who it was a picture of.

Connie's eyes were suspiciously a bit red as he faced Marco, an ugly scowl on his face.

"What do you want?" He growled.

Marco winced at the venom in his voice.

"I-I just wanted to see how you were" He replied slowly.

Connie tensed and said stiffly, watching Marco more warily "I'm fine, now kindly move yourself from my room"

Marco's eyes went back to the portrait Connie had been holding.

"Who's that a portrait of?" He asked curious and instead of moving.

Connie's eyes narrowed coldly and he said clear anger in his voice "Get out"

Marco sighed, trying another tactic, feeling more frustrated "Look, I don't know what I've done to earn your hate Connie but-"

"I don't hate you" He interrupted, though not looking Marco is the eyes, his hands still clenched in tight fist.

"Then whats with the attitude? I came back alive, its not like I asked for this!" Marco said snappily.

Connie didn't respond.

"Connie, please, give me something here" Marco pleaded, his anger diminishing.

"W-why you?" Connie asked, his voice suddenly so quite that Marco almost had to lean in to hear him.

He was now looking at the portrait he'd turned over, not looking at Marco at all.

"Why do you get a second chance when-when o-others…" He cut himself of, a shudder going through his body.

When others don't….

Why did he get to live when other people didn't…

But Marco figured Connie was talking about some others in particular.

He went for the portrait, turning it upright.

Connie's eyes widened and he stood up as he shouted "Put that down!"

But it was to late.

Marco felt his heart clench as he stared into the faces of Connie's family…

His father, mother, little sister and brother.

Marco turned to Connie, eyes wide…

Sasha's voice echoed in his head "Connie didn't exactly have time to grieve when it happened"

Oh gods…

"Oh... Connie" Marco whispered.

Connie choked "P-put that down"

Marco put the portrait of his family down.

"Who-" Marco started to ask.

"All of them! Every fucking last one" Connie hissed, his eyes watering.

He was standing up, breathing shallowing. His eyes on Marco, a deep grief and anger etched inside them but not aimed at Marco.

"M-my whole village in-fact, every single fucking one" Connie said, his voice cracking.

His mouth curled into a horribly forced and bitter smile.

Marco took a step backwards. Everything inside squirming with heart wretch.

"So…" Connie whispered.

"So how come…How come its you who gets to live? W-why is that, eh? Marco?" He asked spitefully.

Marco had no answer, it felt like someone was ripping into his intestines, guilt poured through him.

"Answer me!" Connie suddenly shouted.

Marco recoiled then choked out "I-I don't know"

"They're dead…They're never coming back and-and then theres you…" He said, his voice shaking with suppressed emotion.

He put his hands to his head in pure frustration "How is it…fair that you come back a-and they don't!"

"How is it FUCKING FAIR!" His voice raised and Connie struck his wardrobe that shook dangerously then he leaned against it, trembling.

"I-I'm sorry, I just want to be alone right now" Connie said weakly.

"Connie, I-" Marco said slowly.

"Please, please Marco, just please" Connie whimpered, head down.

He nodded, looking at the shaking boy before him.

I'm so sorry Connie he thought with grief.

Marco walked out of his room, the door shutting behind him.

He slid down the wall thinking…oh shit…

Connie turned around slowly, his eyes focused on the portrait of his family.

A lone tear came down his cheek.

He wished...

Martin, Sunny, Dad, Mum...Why did you leave me?