ITS COMPLICATED

Hurt

I walked into the cabin and ran upstairs

" baby I never meant it"

She said

" I literally just show you love but what are you too famous for me"

I asked

I grabbed my stuff

" where you going"

She asked

" the room over"

I told her as I walked out

" baby come on please talk to me"

She begged

She started ticking

They normally are bad when she's stressed or worried about something and then they get worse when she thinks about it

" Billie it's clear that you want space"

I said walking into the other room and shut the door

" tayden listen i don't care if you're clingy it makes me happy and that day I was just so stressed out"

She said

" fuck"

She mumbled

"Q you fucking asshole"

She yelled as I heard her walk away

I could careless now

If Q wants her I guess he can have her

I laid in bed and looked up at the ceiling

If anything I was clingy because she's constantly leaving me

For tour

For meetings

Interviews

It's always something and I just try to spend as much time with her before she leaves

I'll stop doing it now since I know

It was only like 3pm

"Babe I ordered food open the door"

I heard Billie say

"I'm not hungry"

I said

She sighed and walked away

*

Two days later

I still haven't come out of my room

yes I've been eating.....I didn't get that much candy for nothing

"Tayden fucking open the door it's been two days"

Billie said

She sounded tired

I heard her groan in pain it sounded like

"Fuck I'm in so much pain"

She mumbled

Now I feel bad

When she gets bad tic attacks they can be painful for her and definitely exhausting

I got up and unlocked the door

I opened it

Billie was standing at the end off the hall trying to stop her tics

"Babe come here"

I called

She walked over and put her hair in a messy bun

I grabbed her hand

"How bad are you hurting"

I asked her as I stood in between her legs as she sat on the bed

"I'm fine"

She lied

"Billie Eilish"

I said looking into her eyes

"I really hurt like all over I'm exhausted I can't sleep good without you and I have like 2 tic attacks last night and they were bad"

She said as tears fell out of her eyes

I've never seen Billie cry before so I knew this was bad and it broke my heart

I walked into that bathroom and grabbed ibuprofen

"Here babe take this ok"

I told her as she swallowed the pills

"I'm sorry"

I told her

"It's not your fault it's my stupid body"

She sighed

"Hey be nice to yourself"

I told her

I leaned against the headboard

"Come here"

I said patting my lap

She straddled my lap and laid her head in my neck

She left a couple kisses

"Baby I'm really sorry I didn't mean it at all it's just when I got back from my last tour I was so stressed out because of my schedule and then I walked through the door and I felt overwhelmed"

She told me

"I'm sorry Billie I just try to spend as much time with you as possible when you get back from tour or have a day off and you're in LA because I know you're gonna leave me again and I know I'm gonna feel alone and get down so I just try to create as many memories as possible so it hurts a little less"

I told her as she sat up

"We'll when we get back you get to come on tour with me"

She said

"I know and I'm super excited"

I told her

"Me too"

She told me as she kissed my lips

"Let's not fight anymore please it hurts me physically and emotionally"

She laughed

"I'm totally fine with that"

I told her