What's the point in breathing if you enjoy the burning sensation in you throat when you drown? Your body fights for one gasp of air, instead of air the cold salty water enters your mouth, pouring into your lungs, making your head feel like it would burst at any moment. You know how that feels? peaceful that...feels peaceful. But it doesn't always work.
There always has to be a "good" person that wants to help. But are the really helping? by bringing you back to this hellish earth? This world filled with hate and greed. Maybe you would say that I need to have hope...what do you want me to hope for ? what can I hope for except for an escape, to get away. You think just because my family is rich then My life would be amazing too huh? But you missed the point, "My family is rich" not me.
The water droplets fall like they simply cannot think of anything better to do. There is a laziness about them, as if they can barely be bothered to conform to the will of gravity. As millions of droplets fall from a limitless sky, the wind howls in a low pitch and the flora of the forest sways in a freeform dance. Icy cold water, perfect spheres, touch my skin, sitting briefly before forming tiny rivers of their own. The aroma of rain, sharp and fresh, enters my nostrils as I breathe in the bitter air. I sat up of the drenched floor where you lay, coughing your pain out, tracing my thin finger tips over my wounds flinching at the soft touch.
When will they let me in?
My stomach growled at the sweet smell of my "mothers" cooking, if only they fed me too. you wasn't this bad this time, My only mistake was breaking the glass, Did I do something this bad? was that bad? Why are you creating such a pity party for yourself, you deserve this, why else would it happen? everything happens for a reason! You can't deny that you are a bad child, surprised your parents still keep you around.
Streaks of pure white crackled against a stormy blanket of grey, shrouding hot silver clouds with its blinding incandescence, emanating the might of an imminent tempest. Jagged bolts endlessly protrude, filling the sky with undying flashes of radiance. My heart raced at the threatening sounds that spurred out angrily from the sky. I dragged myself towards the fence, hiding under the old oak tree from the angry sky, hopefully he spares me.
I was too preoccupied with the sky to not notice the glass door slide open allowing in a hunched person popping its almond shape head looking for someone? His clawed hands removed off the glass door imprinting it with the ruby rose colour of blood. The faint beat of my heart began to accelerate, as adrenaline flowed Through my veins making my mind go blank.
Maybe this is my chance to finally escape right to finally be free from this hell hole, if I jump out would he shoot me ? would he make it quick ? I swallowed the piercing air scratching against the walls of my throat, Taking a step forward, watching the figure move forwards with me as he put his hands up.
Why would he put his hands up in front of a child?
"Y/n right?" He asked gently putting his hand out for a handshake, I stared at his bloodied hands and just nodded my head. "Jesus, you really are just a kid? how old are you?" I looked around looking for my "parents" but there was no sign of them, allowing me to breath out the carbon dioxide stuck in my throat. "I'm 12." The man looked back at the house with a disgusted face then looked back at me and smiled softly.
"What happened to them?" I asked as curiosity began eating away at my fear. "They've been arrested darling" As the words came out of this mans mouth this weird feeling overwhelmed me It started as a tingle in my fingers and toes, much like the feeling I have when I'm anxious, but instead of worrisome it's warm. I feel it pass through me like a warm ocean wave, washing away the pain of the past 12 years to leave me refreshed inside. As the wave fades I savour the memory of its gentle touch. This is better than leaving maybe death really isn't the answer all the time?
Wrong, I was so f*cking wrong...everything just got worse.
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18 years old
After cleaning the whole house I finally allowed myself a bit of rest before the beast got home. Taking a few deep breaths in, I let my eyes slowly close their lids obstructing my vision. swerving the darkness all over covering each corner relaxing my brain feeding it with a few moments of peace before the army of thoughts chase into my brain imprinting their devilish ideas and depicting images of my forgotten memories.
The few moments of peace and quiet I dearly clung onto were shattered when the door slammed open and closed in anger, The piercing smell of alcohol found its way to my nostrils repulsing me backwards. The beast is finally home... "Y/N" He screamed in his raspy animalistic growl making my skin crawl and muscles begin to ache. "Come out, or should I come to you huh?" He burst into his sickening laugh, making me want to gag.
Unsure of what to do and too tired to move I remained in bed waiting for him to just do it and get over with it. The door squeaked open as my ears twitched at the sound of his hard and heavy foot steps enter the dimly lit room. "Ah were you waiting for me?" He licked his lips like the monstrosity of a man he is. I remained quiet and and squinted my eyes shut.
"Amma take that as a yes" His rough hands ran over my small body making me flinch as he pushed down on my cut and bruises. Tears let themselves out of my eyes no matter how hard I was fighting to keep them hidden. "I love seeing you in pain" He laughed as he slashed the clothes of me leaving my body exposed and freezing in that cold room.
I tried to fight him, maybe tonight I'd win no luck. His hard knuckles hit the side of my neck making me lay back dizzily as he continued using my body like a box for pleasure. My cries continued, trying to endure the pain until I passed out from the overwhelming suffering.
The darkness engulfed me, letting me feel at peace in my own head. To be honest when your darkness becomes your protective inner dragon whom is the servant to fear, this darkness becomes the most soft of black velvets illuminated by heaven-spun stars. Darkness became my safe spot.
Flashback
"But...Sir? where will I go now?" I asked curiously picking at the chair in that cold wooden office. "Well one of our oldest detective said he was friends with someone in your family and he opted to take care of you." I nodded feeling a sense of hope that there are some people that actually care for me. Oh boy was I wrong again.
The police officer took me to the detectives house where he welcomed with open arms, and fed me with some of the best and most tasty food I have ever eaten. A few months went by and to be honest I was living the most peaceful and painless months until I turned 13. Once the clock opposed to time and made me a years older everything went down hill once again...even worse.
"You are old enough for some adult games now" He smiled softly as he held my hand and bought me into the bedroom. "Adult games?" I asked giggling feeling special that he would let me play cool games. "Yes darling" he smiled softly as he began to touch my thigh...and from then on...the beast began its long game....
That's when my life turned into living hell once again....remember when I said death was not the answer....well now it looks like the best option once again...
End of flashback
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Authors note:
How do you guys feel about this story so far? Please let me know if there are any area's you want me to improve .
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