The Love Game

Tossing and Turning

I had been tossing and turning for what felt like an eternity.

I turned to look at my clock.

3:30 AM

"Ughh" I groaned.

I may as well just give up. I'm not tired in the slightest.

I thought about getting on my phone, but looked on my night stand and saw the copy of Pride and Prejudice.

Well I don't have anything better to do. I may as well.

With a sigh, I grabbed the book and picked up where I left off.

I had been reading for a while so I decided to check the clock again.

4:30 AM

I can't believe I have been reading this book for an hour, going on and on about romance and all that comes with it.

True love. Yeah right. I can't believe people actually believe in this stuff.

At this point, sleep was pretty much out of the question. So, I decided to go downstairs and get something to drink.

I walked down the hall and into the kitchen, but was surprised to see that the light was already turned on.

I looked to see my mom sitting at the table, drinking coffee.

"You're up early," she said in a surprised tone.

I rubbed my eyes and shrugged.

"Can't sleep."

"Like mother like daughter," she laughed.

I went to the table and sat down next to her.

"Is everything ok?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah. Just a lot on my mind. Adult stuff."

"Me too. I mean not adult stuff. Just a lot on my mind."

She put a hand on my shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. It's just school stuff. Nothing you would understand."

She laughed.

"Well, believe it or not, I was in high school once upon a time. I know a thing or two about school stuff."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Wasn't that like back when they had one-room school houses?"

She playfully nudged my shoulder.

"Haha. Very funny. But seriously, do you want to talk about anything?"

I looked down at the table, fiddling with my hands.

"No. Well.. can I talk to you about something?"

She nodded.

"Anything, sweetheart."

"I need to do this thing. Nothing that will get me thrown in jail or anything. Don't worry. But the thing is that it will make my life so much better, but it may really hurt someone along the way. Do you think this makes me a bad person?"

She sat, thinking for a moment.

"Well, you obviously don't want to tell me what... this thing... that you have to do is. I trust when you say that it won't get you in trouble though. But, no, I don't think this makes you a bad person."

I gave her a questioning look and she put her hand on mine.

"Kierstin, you've put other people's needs ahead of yours your whole life. Especially mine. Even though you were just a little girl when your dad left, you've constantly looked after me and made sure that my needs have been met. You've spent your whole life trying to be a mother figure to your own mother."

I looked back up at her and she squeezed my hand tighter.

"In less than 2 years, you'll have graduated high school and your childhood will be over. I don't want you to look back and only have memories of worrying about other people in your life. All I want is for you to be happy. So, whatever you have to do to be as happy as you possibly can be, do it. You deserve it."

I smiled warmly at my mom.

I love her so much.

"Thanks, Mom."

She was right. I've been through so much in my 16 years. I deserve happiness. Even if it means that I have to do something kind of difficult to get it.

Mom smiled.

"Are you sure you can't go to sleep?" she asked.

"I think that ship has sailed," I laughed.

"Well you may as well go ahead and get a cup of coffee so you won't feel like total sh*t today."

"Well if I feel like total sh*t does that mean that I can stay home?"

She smacked my arm and we both started laughing.

I got a cup of coffee and talked with my mom. I had a big day ahead of me.

Today I was going to sweep Simon Seville right off his feet.