devoted to you - dreamnotfound

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾one☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

★・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・★

It was dawn, the sky was colourless but was instead filled with colours that represented innocence and pureness of white and baby blue. white being the fluffy clouds and blue being the sky.

It was moments like this that clay treasured.

It was the other so-called-memories that clay didnt treasure, or wish he had remembered from so many years ago.

the yelling. . the smell of alcohol. .the sound of-

"Jack please!" his mother begged "Jack, No! your drunk stop it!"

his mother let out a defeaning high pitched scream that rung through clays ears.

slap.

after slap.

after punch.

after kick.

Clay soon opened his bedroom door to peek around it to reveal his father kneeling next to his mothers body that was covered with blood.

she was dead.

"M-Mommy?" He whimpered as tears came flooding down his cheeks

His father always came home drunk just to give him or his mother a beating for his own pleasure. He was a sick man, but he never thought he was this sick in the head.

this time he had actually killed her with his bare hands.

that was his bestfriend, the woman that would stay up and give him a kiss on the forehead goodnight.

something his father had never done other then gave him the occasional bruise now and then.

He was only 13

Clay was only 13.

"Fuck"

Clay whispered to nobody but himself as he eventually snapped out of his thoughts

Clay was now 19 and live in the same childhood home along with his alcoholic father, jack.

he couldn't tell the police what happened to his mother, jack always found a way to threaten him if he ever did.

He wished he could just disappear and never come back. He wished the earth just sucked him into nothingness so he wouldn't have to deal with the constant loop of loneliness, sadness and that familiar ringing in his ears along with the sharp pain in his temples and the ache in his limbs. Sometimes he questioned if it was even him that was exhausted or his soul.

Clay leaned his head against the glass window as he sat laying on the painted white window sill admiring the sounds of nothing at all.

it was snowing, he loved the snow.

Snow absorbs sound, and sometimes clay wishes it wont ever stop snowing.

he squint his eyes shut, he could never bring himself to cry, no matter how hard he tried, he was completely numb.

! MENTIONS OF SELF HARM !

-

-

  He walked over to his nightstand and opened the top draw, the draw revealed a blade, he rolled up his hoodie sleeve and without second thought he brought the blade to his wrist and cut a sharp line. The wound drawn blood, he loved the sight, he didn't care about the pain, the blood is what mattered to him. He let out a sharp exhale as his arms dropped to the floor, along with the blade that remained in his hand.

He was tired, exhausted and hungry but he would wait a little longer, just a little longer till he would sleep or eat

or just end it all.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

587 words

i know this chapters short but this is only the first! the next chapters to come will be alot bigger hopefully. i do have some ideas in mind so i know here im going with this

to anyone reading this and is going through a tough time im sorry, im sorry your in pain and nobodys even noticed you are, but im here and i care about you dearly. my dm's are always open <3