Just Around The Corner

7

"Why are we going to the pharmacy, again?"

"We are holding a seminar at the Soda Shop on sexual education," Rachel said, not slowing down her stride for a second, "and if we want to do it properly, we need something on hand for visual demonstration. We don't want to end up with a dozen Quinn Fabrays on our hands."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "They're not going to be selling protection, Rachel. If what you told me is true, then no one in Pleasantville has even heard of sex before."

"It's worth a try." Rachel stopped suddenly, making Kurt almost run into her. "We're going to do this right or we're not going to do this at all."

"Right," Kurt drawled.

He put on a snarky front but the truth was, he was absolutely terrified. He knew the basics of sex (hetero sex, anyway) but nowhere near enough to teach it. And to a room full of other teenagers, no less.

Rachel grabbed his sleeve and practically dragged him the rest of the way. The Pharmacist looked up and gave them a beaming smile when they entered.

"And what can I do to help you kids?" he asked kind-heartedly.

"You go," Rachel whispered to Kurt.

"No, what?" Kurt spluttered. "You go, this was your idea."

Rachel fixed him a pointed glare. "You're a guy, it should be much easier for you. Besides," she drew a deep breath, looking down on the floor, "I want the first time I buy condoms to be special."

With that, she gave Kurt a good, hard push toward the counter. He stumbled and quickly fixed a smile on his face when he saw the Pharmacist giving him a confused look.

"Good day," he said, aware that his voice had turned high and breathless like it always did when he was embarrassed. Or mortified beyond belief. "I- I wish to purchase some protection."

He could hear Rachel snort behind him and silently wished her a slow, painful death.

The Pharmacist looked at him blankly. "Protection?"

Seemed that Kurt would have to elaborate. "Er, you know-" He could say it. It was just one tiny little word.

One tiny little word laden with implications.

"Maybe you'd be better off looking at the hardware store?" the Pharmacist suggested.

Kurt let out a strangled, high-pitched noise and Rachel started giggling. "No, I'm pretty sure it should be available here."

"Well, then I need you to be more specific."

"Condoms," Kurt all but shouted. "I need to buy condoms."

Behind him, Rachel was clearly holding back laughter.

The Pharmacist looked contemplative. "I believe we just got a shipment of them." He bent under the counter. "Which is strange, because I don't recall ever ordering them. I don't even know what the little guys are meant for, really." He came back up, holding a small box. He smiled at Kurt. "Do let me know if you find out?"

Kurt nodded and slapped some money on the counter. It was probably too much but he had a feeling that if he didn't leave soon, he'd burst into flames. He grabbed the box and Rachel's hand, and fled out of the shop.

Once they were back on the street, Rachel burst out laughing unrestrained.

"Real funny," Kurt muttered darkly. "You know that you're going to be the one teaching them about sex, right?"

Rachel let out one last giggle, then sobered up. "I know. But I was hoping that I could, you know, teach them about regular sex and you could explain gay sex."

Kurt could actually feel his heart coming to halt. "First off, love the way you worded that." Rachel had the decency to look ashamed. "Also, no."

"That's not fair," Rachel huffed. "Putting it on my shoulders to teach both-"

"I meant," Kurt interrupted, "that we're not going to be talking about gay sex at all. It's too much."

Rachel frowned. "I don't see how."

"Have you seen a single same-sex couple in this place?" Kurt asked. "No. Because they don't know the concept even exists. They think gay means happy and queer means strange."

"But we're here to educate them, Kurt. To open their minds."

"One step at a time." Kurt looked down at his hands then immediately up again when he remembered what he was holding. "You know that me teaching them about gay sex might have them jump to conclusions?"

"They wouldn't be wrong," Rachel pointed out. She looked confused. "You've never had any problems with being out and proud."

"I never had a choice," Kurt corrected her. "And I got ostracized because of it. But here, for the first time in my life, I'm treated as one of the crowd. Can you blame me for wanting to hold onto that a little longer?"

Rachel looked at him, imploring. "You want to hide who you are?"

"Not hide." Kurt crossed his arms. "I just want to come out at my own speed, this time."

"I suppose I understand," Rachel said slowly, although it was clear from her expression that she didn't. "But I could always teach them."

"No!" Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. He hadn't meant to say it so forcefully. "I mean, not yet. When I'm ready."

"Fine." Rachel looked troubled but she recovered quickly and grinned at him. "I won't out you for being gay and you won't out me for being Jewish." At Kurt's raised eyebrow, she stifled a giggle. "Oh, like being Jewish in this place is any better than being gay. You have noticed that we've been forced to go to church every Sunday, right?"

"And say grace before dinner," Kurt added. "I think being an atheist is worse, though."

Rachel, to his relief, did not look uncomfortable as she had the last time he brought up his lack of religion. "They'd probably spray us with holy water."

"Or drag us to the river and try to baptize us."

Rachel started laughing again and Kurt grinned. He liked being friends with her, he really did. If only it didn't make him feel so guilty about lying to her.

Because the truth was, while he didn't look forward to having to come out again, he had another reason for not wanting to talk about gay sex. Mostly, it was because he knew nothing about it. At all. Nor was he ready to learn about it.

Especially not from Rachel Berry.

---

They arrived at the Soda Shop early and Mr. Johnson came a couple of minutes later to let them in.

"Thank you so much for letting us do this here," Kurt told him.

Mr. Johnson shrugged in an 'aw, shucks' fashion. "Just glad to be of help." He turned to Rachel. "Did you want the paintings now, Mary Sue?"

"Yes, please," Rachel answered brightly. Mr. Johnson strode confidently into the kitchen

"Paintings?" Kurt asked.

Rachel's face flushed. "I asked Bill here to help us with the, uh, visual aid."

"Here you go," Mr. Johnson announced happily as he returned and handed Rachel a stack of canvases.

Kurt peered over her shoulder. "That's a penis."

"I am aware," Rachel shot back, sounding more shocked than annoyed. "I'll just put those aside for later."

"Does it look all right?" Mr. Johnson wanted to know.

Rachel hummed in agreement. "Very realistic."

"As if you'd know," Kurt muttered. He leaned closer to Rachel, "How did you get Mr. Johnson to agree to this?"

"He was more than willing," Rachel informed him. "I gave him a heavily illustrated book on sexual reproduction and a list of things I wanted him to paint. Not often that he gets requests like that."

That last statement was more than a little accusatory but Kurt brushed it right off. "If we have a book on sexual reproduction at our disposal, why do we even need to hold this seminar? Can't we just have everyone read it?"

"It wouldn't be as effective." Rachel wrung her hands nervously. "And I did promise that I would explain it."

That was apparently that, as Rachel pulled some notes out of her pocket and sat down to read them. Kurt wandered into the corner, where Rachel had put Mr. Johnson's paintings aside for later. He reached for them but before he could touch, the bell at the entrance rang as the first group of people entered.

Kurt spun around, his heart going a mile a minute. Peggy Jane, as well as her boyfriend Tommy and his friend Johnny, had entered. They stopped at the door when they saw Kurt and the four teenagers stared at each other, all looking like they'd been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"What are you standing there for?" Rachel asked, breaking the awkward silence. "Come in, there's no need to be shy."

Kurt smiled stiffly and went to sit at the counter, while the others gathered in one booth.

After that, people started arriving bit by bit in groups of three or more, except for Blaine who came by himself. He grinned when he saw Kurt and Kurt almost waved him over, until Rachel spotted him and went to kiss him hello.

Finally, at five o'clock, everyone had arrived. Rachel pulled Kurt to his feet to stand in the middle of the floor with her, while everyone sat around them.

"Welcome," Rachel greeted. She elbowed Kurt in the arm.

"Hi," he added.

When it was clear that no one was going to answer, Rachel cleared her throat. "We're going to start by asking a couple of questions, just so we're clear on where we stand. Bud?"

Kurt dutifully pulled out his own notes. They had discussed on their way to the Soda Shop that since he wasn't going to talk about gay sex as Rachel had intended, he could at least help her get started. "What is the difference between boys and girls?" he read out loud in a monotone voice.

"Girls wear skirts," Betty Jean answered, "and have long hair. Boys wear pants and have short hair."

Everyone around her nodded approvingly.

"Technically true," Rachel allowed. "Well, not always, but-" This time Kurt elbowed her and she grinned sheepishly. "I meant physical differences."

There was a round of confused looks.

"Girls smell better?" a boy Kurt didn't know the name of offered.

"Boys are stronger," the girl next to him added coyly.

"This is a lot harder than I'd anticipated," Rachel whispered so that only Kurt could hear.

He smirked. "You signed up for it."

Rachel huffed and put on her best show smile. "The answer I was looking for is: they have different genitalia." She nodded her head at Kurt, who went and fetched the first two of Mr. Johnson's paintings. "Bud, if you will."

Kurt held up the painting of the penis. Their audience drew a collective gasp. Kurt made the mistake of glancing in Blaine's direction. Blaine's eyes were glued to the painting, then they dropped lower. To Kurt's crotch. Kurt crossed his legs a bit and focused his eyes on the ceiling. This was going to be a long evening.

---

"-in conclusion, be safe, sane and consensual. Any questions?"

You could hear a pin drop. Slowly, one of the boys in the audience raised his arm.

Rachel smiled sweetly at him. "Yes?"

"Where," he blushed a very alarming shade of red, made all the more obvious by the rest of his face still being black and white," where do we get condoms?"

"They're available at the pharmacy."

As soon as she had finished answering, the room came to life. People were scrambling to get to the exit, only a few of them remembering to stop and thank Rachel for the lesson. Rachel honestly couldn't say she blamed them. She'd been feeling a little warm herself ever since she started talking about foreplay.

"You did a good job," Kurt said when the place had nearly emptied.

Rachel beamed at the compliment. "I couldn't have done it without you. Literally, The Reproduction Song would have been very difficult to sing by myself."

Kurt pulled a face. "Yeah, let's not mention that ever again."

"You two were great," Blaine praised, coming over. He wasn't looking at the both of them, though. He only had eyes for Kurt.

"Thank you," Kurt replied in that breathy voice Rachel knew all too well. She'd heard him use it around Finn a million times last year.

"Yes, thank you," Rachel echoed maybe a bit louder than she needed to but it drew the attention back to her. "Blaine, I was thinking that we could go to Lover's Lane?"

She batted her eyelashes at him in case what she was offering wasn't blatant enough.

"I, uh," Blaine stuttered. Rachel pouted at him for good measure and he caved. "Sure."

"Go out," she instructed, "I'll be out with you in a second."

She waited until the doors closed behind him and turned to Kurt. "Do you still have the condoms?"

"Rachel, you wouldn't," Kurt said disbelievingly.

No, she wouldn't. Rachel knew herself and she knew she wasn't ready. But something about the way Kurt and Blaine looked at each other made her irrationally jealous. She wanted to make Kurt jealous in return. "Maybe I would. It's better to have them, just in case."

Kurt looked like he wanted to protest but he didn't. He fished the box out of his pocket and handed it to Rachel with a bitter smile. "Just be careful."

Rachel swallowed, suddenly wanting to tell Kurt the truth. Instead she nodded and followed Blaine out into his car.

She climbed into her seat. "Shall we go?"

"I don't think I want to," Blaine confessed, turning to look at Rachel. "Have sex, I mean. Not yet."

Rachel felt a mingled sense of relief and dread. "Me neither. But we can still go to Lover's Lane and make out, right?"

Blaine agreed to that, banishing most of Rachel's dread. He didn't like Kurt, he liked her. He was her love interest, for God's sake, that meant he was practically created for her. Blaine was straight.

Going to Lover's Lane turned out to be a mistake. It was difficult focusing on making out with your boyfriend when the couple in the next car over was going at it like rabbits.