Ray Of Hope

2. Farewell

It's almost been a month since I reached Mumbai.

Looking at myself in the mirror I can see a Bold and strong girl but looking to a depth of myself is a girl who is depressed with the haunted past and a girl who is searching for happiness and peace.

I still remember 2 week later after I reached Mumbai I had to attend a wedding.

Flashback

I didn't want to attend the party but my parents forced me to come.

Eliza's dress

I was still uncomfortable in public. Everyone was just looking at me as I am an object in a museum.

I heard an aunty saying,"...but she doesn't t look like she was raped."
Is it a particular way I should have looked. Like torn clothes or something.

"Where was she for one year, I heard she was seeing a psychiatrist was she crazy." Hearing this Josh tensed beside me.

I also heard that people assume I was admitted in mental Asylum. I had to pull dad and mom from there as they were going to give replies to those people.

Somewhere sympathizing me and somewhere pitying me and some where disgusted by me but still I tried to give them a small smile.

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I thought one year was enough for people to forget my incident but instead they keep reminding me.

And that was the day I decided it was enough. That day onwards I closed my emotions and blocked all the other people out of my life except my family.

Today is my ICWAE test result. I was waiting to see the word pass and after almost waiting for eternity pass exam My First Step towards UK is cleared and now I have to reply for jobs.

My my dad and my brother were most happiest. And that was only thing I wanted.

I'm in Oxford now. I reached yesterday. Me and my brother are staying at my cousins house in the city. Today is my interview at Red Square hotel. I am damn nervous there are almost 80-100 applicants and only 10 will be selected as accountants in Red Square company.

I knocked on the door and asked may I come in. I heard a come in from inside. There were five officials one of them asked me to take a seat and give your file please.

They all questioned me regarding my accounting qualifications and my experiences and other things. I answered them quite well. I guess.

Mr Clyde one of the officials asked, "Why there is one year gap did you take one year to study ICWAE.?"
That got me good

"Sir I was in one year therapy."
"For what?" Mr. Clement asked.
I replied ,"Sir it's personal."

"We want to make sure about Your mental stability which may effect our company in the future if you will join." they reasoned.

"Sir I had been raped last year on 30th April. Almost after one week I attempted suicide and due to my depression and mental condition I had to go for therapy for one year in Kerala. I can provide you the certificate by my therapist that I am completely normal and fine now." I answered

"Sorry to hear that Ms. Mathews. Thank you very much for applying in our company you are quite brave and strong. We are looking forward to work with you. Your appointment letter will be mailed to you. All the best for your future." Mr. Clyde said.

"Thank you so much. I am glad to be Red Square employee sir. Thank you, this means a lot."

Me and my brother where in McDonald's when I got the mail of my appointment in Red Square Constructions in Oxford the next day.

"Oh my god! I'm very happy for you sister." Joshua started squealing.
"I am too Josh" I said with the biggest smile on my face after almost 2 years. "I will just call mum and dad and inform them"
"Liz it's my treat today" Joshua said

When we went home my cousin sister jumped on me making me almost fall
"We are so proud of you sister" my cousin said.
"Congratulations Eliza" uncle Samson said.
Aunt Siya hugged me and said, "Congratulations Liz. You deserved it dear. "
"Thank you so much everyone". I replied.

"So when is the joining date?" uncle Sam asked.
"After two months uncle"I replied.

My cousin asked, "When are you leaving for Mumbai?"
Joshua replied, "The flight is in the evening 8:00 p.m."
"So when you will come back" aunt asked.
I replied,"Two weeks before my joining date I have to search for apartments."

"Why will you need an apartment? You can stay in our house, we have 2 guest rooms you don't need to stay another apartment. "

"No uncle, I have to do this on my own. I have to be independent please do help me in searching some rental Apartments for me."
"Ok child whatever you wish."

It's almost 1 month since I came back from Oxford all my shopping is done and today my friends are giving me farewell party.

My friends and I are in club Escape in private area as I can't handle public.
Anna, Riya, Edgar, Leah, Chris, Dennis and my brother Joshua enjoyed a lot. I will miss them all.

Anna and Edgar are my best friends since my school. Riya, Leah and Chris are college friends and Dennis is Leah's boyfriend. We all were a gang since our college and in same Accounts department. The best days of my life.

I just wish I could just laugh and dance without feeling any pain. Be carefree. But every time when I want to laugh, I feel like I don't deserve it. I just hope all this pain and memories will fade away soon. It's always chasing after me.

I reached Oxford last week and today I am shifting in my new apartment I have a roommate Evelyn Mary Thomas. She is Manager in Bliss Hotel in the town. She is bubbly and extrovert like the old me.

We became best friends within a week. She knows about my Rape and my nightmares and everything. Joshua taught her how to control my panic attacks. She is quite supportive. I love her.

Tomorrow I am joining Red Square construction as accountant. Tomorrow will be the new beginning of my new life in Oxford I just hope I can find happiness and peace here.

Authors Note :
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