Herophine: Second Chances

Chapter 12

Hero's POV:

Fuck. What just happened?

The look in Jo's eyes when she mentioned Vivian's name was unlike anything I had ever seen in them before. It was a combination of emotions; sadness, anger, confusion, betrayal, but most of all, hurt.

I struggled with the words to explain myself and the situation at hand. I tried to remain as calm as possible and not make the problem even larger by blowing up at her, even though this was all clearly my fault.

I honestly debated taking her up on her offer to call Vivian right then and there, but that would have only hurt more feelings than just Jo's. I didn't dare try and enter Jo's room with the key that I have after I followed her down the hall. Instead, I knocked, standing in front of the door to her room, feeling like absolute shit.

I get how this looks. How I look now to her.

After standing in the hallway and getting no response, I make my way back to my own room, still only wearing a towel. Everything happened so fast, I didn't even realize I was practically naked. Luckily, no one else has made their way on or off our floor to my knowledge.

When I get back inside, I sit on the edge of my bed, my head once again in my hands after I attempt to call Jo. No answer. I send her a text asking her to please let me explain. My stomach feels like I might throw up and I struggle to make any rational thought right now.

As I sit in silence, my phone begins to vibrate on the bed. I quickly reach for it. It could be Jo. Even if her response tells me to go to hell, at least that's something. Instead, I'm immediately disappointed when I see that its Vivian. I decline the call and know that she's listening to my voicemail on the other end.

I stand from the bed and shuffle around a few things before finding some clean clothes to wear. I dress in a white t shirt and lounge shorts, tossing my towel onto the floor just inside the bathroom as my phone begins to ring again. Anger sets in as I reach for it.

"What", I flatly say.

"Now you answer!" Vivian's voice comes through the phone.

"I was busy," I reply, still not in the nicest way.

"I hadn't talked to you all day. I missed you," her words sound slightly slurred as if she's been drinking, which could explain the abundance of calls and texts within the last hour.

I rub the bridge of my nose with my left hand, holding my phone up to my ear with my right. I don't even know what to say. 'Oh, Vivian. I missed you too?' Fuck no.

What I want to say but stop myself from is something more like, 'Yeah I avoided all your calls and texts today because you didn't even cross my mind while I spent the entire day with Jo, whom I actually give a shit about. And then, unbeknownst to you, you fucked the entire thing up tonight because you're drunk and annoying and somehow think that us fucking a few times when I was bored and lonely has or will turn into something that it hasn't and won't'.

As I still struggle to find something to say, I hear Vivian's voice again.

"Hero, are you there? What's wrong?"

I take a breath before I respond.

"Vivian, this isn't working out." As soon as I say the words, the silence on the other end of the line is deafening.

"What do you mean?" She quietly asks.

"I mean this isn't working for me. Us, talking." I sit still on my bed, waiting for her to respond.

"Where is this coming from Hero? It's like you've changed so much since you got there. You barely ever answer my calls, I can never get a text back from you. You say you're so busy, but you don't even have time to send a text? I'm sorry if me asking to fly out there was out of line, I just figured you'd maybe miss me as much as I miss you," her words are a mix of sadness and pleading.

She thought that maybe I missed her? No. I missed Jo when we went our separate ways over a year ago. I missed her so much I couldn't even barely sleep at night for the first few months without her next to me. That was the last time I missed someone.

"Look, it's just not working Vivian. We're across the country from each other and I'll be here for another two months," I try to reason with her as nicely as I can.

"But, Hero..." she begins to interrupt me.

"For Christ sake, Vivian. I live in London and you're in LA. It's not like we are down the block from each other," the words come out much harsher than before. Maybe that's the only way this girl will understand? I've been so careful when handling her emotions up until this point, that's why this whole thing even happened tonight.

I can hear a faint sniffling sound coming her end of the line.

"It's because of her, isn't it?" She asks, not much louder than a whisper. I know she's referring to Jo.

I have two options here: I could continue to deny that there's anything between Jo and I like I have been ever since I've been here, or I could just come clean about our whole secret relationship, not going into too many details, and at least give this girl a valid reason for why I'm telling her we can no longer speak. If I do the later, Jo might be mad in the event Vivian decides to run her mouth to any online sources for a few minutes of fame, "exposing" the truth behind all the rumors involving the two of us. But, if it's finally out there in the open, Jo is forced to talk to me whether it be for good or worse. God, this is so fucking confusing.