Achieving Heaven Through Hell Part 3: Only the Results

Chapter 7: Complex

Chapter 7: Complex

Stolas sat behind his desk, his head in his hands.

How had things gone so wrong?

'Probably when you doomed all creation to whatever scheme that appropriately-named preacher has cooked up?' He thought to himself. 'Probably that, yeah.'

A commotion sounded outside his office, an aura made its odious presence known, even in the adjacent room, like a foul smell.

The bell on his desk rang as it was flogged. His secretary had taken an uncharacteristic day off. In fact, Stolas could not recount a single day off the loyal little demon had taken in his two decades of service, adding to the increasing feeling of unease this morning had decided to bombard him with. Stolas rose to his feet and exited the office, dreading the encounter.

'If my precious Moonie were here, he'd have warned me ahead of time...' He thought to himself, sulking.

Standing in his reception room was a tall, garishly dressed moth-demon, his long, thin body concealed in a veritable pillar of fur-trimmed red velour. His red eyes narrowed behind his absurd heart-shaped sunglasses, his stained grin widened into a leer, his gold tooth glinting in the lights.

"Valentino," Stolas said, smiling like he'd just found a spider in his coffee. "How awful to see you again. Truly, my day has reached its nadir and it's not even nine."

"Never one to mince words, were ya, Hoot?" Valantino said, his voice that same, infuriatingly even croon: this vulgarian no doubt fancied he had some sort of advantage over the Prince. "Funny. Considering how mincing you can be."

"What can I say, you've caught me at a time in my life where my patience for you is nonexistent." Stolas moved to turn away and head back into his office. "Which henceforth is between now and the End of Days. Now, if you'll excuse me, talking to you has left a bad taste in my mouth. Kindly show yourself out, the garbage chute is the third on the left."

Valentino laughed, a slick, unpleasant sound, not unlike the rolling chortle of bubbling oil. "Y'know, I just thought I'd let ya know, there's some right unpleasant rumors circulatin' about you. Do you a solid, friendly-like. 'Course, if you'd rather just insult me when alls I'm doin' is tryin' to help, you know, head a rumor off at the pass before it becomes major news..."

Stolas sighed and turned around, glaring at the moth demon. "I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Aight, so, all this piss in the wind I hear about you fuckin' some imp is just that?" Valentino said, tapping away at his phone.

Stolas' hellphone buzzed and he glanced at it. Valentino has sent him dozens of candid pictures of him and his paramour in the throes of passion. Stolas could admit that, while obviously taken at a discreet distance, the photos were centered and well-composed; professional work. He could just imagine how eye-catching they would be plastered across the front page of some rag, as a thumbnail on a clickbait article, flashing on billboards.

"I mean, deepfakes and such, you never can be too certain nowadays."

"What do you want?"

Valentino slithered over to him, his eyes glowing. "Oh, I'm just grinnin' ear to ear to hear you say that, Stolas. That you just lead with a reward like that, on account of your gratitude and all. Well, consider this gratis, my feathered friend."

"Oh, do cut the shit and tell me what you want."

"Aight. Now, tellin' you what was up was the freebie. However, if'n you want my help keepin' a cap on this slander, well..." He knit his hands together with one pair and pointed to the ceiling with another. "Y'know, the rumor has you're lettin' the imp use your fancy book to do biz on Earth. Now, I ain't one to subscribe to rumors, but it got me thinkin'. If my good pal Stolas would lend that book out for dick, imagine what he'd do for a good friend who's got his best interests at heart?"