Achieving Heaven Through Hell Part 3: Only the Results

Chapter 9: Libido

Chapter 9: Libido

The office to IMP was sparsely but tastefully decorated, Blitzo looked it over with unabashed pride. Blitzo had not blown all his share on garbage and tacky junk, to the surprise of everyone. Instead, he'd hired some of the best decorators in Hell to assemble for him a tasteful but easily replaced set of furniture and the like, since it was all inevitably going to catch fire or some other such nonsense. Blitzo may well be a fool, but he had basic pattern recognition, at least. Blitzo did, however, splurge on their weaponry. He made his way over to the armory, a huge steel vault he had specially made and installed by the finest smiths in Greed, if anyone knew how to make a safe safe, it was those stingy assholes. He reached out for the key-pad.

"One-one-one... uh..." Blitzo tapped his chin as he strained to recall. "Oh! One."

The lock beeped and flashed green, the foot-thick steel door hissed and swung open, the glittering contents shining in his eyes. "Yeah baby..."

Ever since that fateful mission, weaponry had never been a problem, and not because they became the most well-funded imp-run anything over the course of a single afternoon, either. No, M&M's seven-and-a-half foot tall 'baby' Gabriel saw to that. The sole surviving Junior they had adopted could turn any matter into any other form of matter, including guns, bombs, and all manner of weaponry.

Keeping an armory stocked was piss-easy and cheap-as-free when one of his employees could literally pull grenades out of thin air. The armory was for something not even Gabriel could replicate. The shelves were stocked with tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition of all types, the racks festooned with every melee weapon from axes to zhuas. The catch? Every last implement of death was crafted from Seraphim Steel.

So deadly.

So expensive.

He'd literally spent his entire share on the armory.

Worth it.

"Are you jacking off to your weapons again?" Loona growled from outside the huge safe.

"No!" Blitzo shouted, discretely doing up his fly. "Have M&M called back? I want to get underway with this new job ASAP! We can't afford to get behind schedule."

It was true. Ever since they'd returned victorious, La Squadra had done their level best to send business their way, and with their new armament and reputation, IMP could pick and choose their jobs and pay. Truth be told, no-one in that office ever needed to work again. But, as Blitzo's father always said 'if you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life!' A line he'd always bust out just before practicing throwing knives as Blitzo spun on a target board.

"Yeah, they disposed of the body and were on their way when they called," said Loona, disinterestedly. "That was, like, twenty minutes ago."

"Good!" Blitzo grinned, toothily. "I wanna kill this senator so bad my dick is grinding its teeth!"

"Ugh! You're so gross!"

Blitzo's hellphone screamed bloody murder as a call came in.

"God damnnit..." Blitzo sighed and checked the screen; it was Stolas. He answered. "What?!"

"Bllllit-zeeee..." the owl crooned. "Blitzy-Blitzy-Blitzy~"

"I'm very busy right now, Stolas," Blitzo said, marching out of the vault. "What do you want?"

"I'm looooonely Blitzy~" Stolas said, a slur now very evident in his lilting voice. "Youuuu shhhhould come on over and cooooome in meee. Ho-ho-ho!"