Not Backing Out

I Should

I should still be breathing.

I should still have friends.

I should still have straight As

And the occasional B.

I should still have my family

Whom I love and care for and love and love and love

With all my heart

I should still have a beating heart.

But mine remains still

I should have backed out.

I should have stayed home

And be miserably lonely for the rest of my teenage years

Screw Parties

I wish I could say "I still have my whole life to live."

I should be alive.

I should be able to say "I'm glad I backed out."

If only.