One.

Chapter Four...

It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face. I've been everywhere and back trying to replace. Everything that I had 'til my feet went numb. Praying like a fool that's been on the run.

Heart's still beating but it's not working. It's like a million dollar phone that you just can't ring. I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing. Yeah, my heart is numb.

But with you, I feel again. Yeah, with you, I can feel again

Feel Again; One Republic. 

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{Perrie's POV}

I've always liked going to the supermarket. I'm not sure if it's just because of the satisfaction you get after unpacking the groceries when you return home, therfore having a once again full fridge and cupboard, or because it's an escape from the world I live in.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my life. But ever since things went downhill, things have been tough. I've been unable to have notifications on my phone, even just going onto Instagram or Twitter is a nightmare for me now.

Having interviews throwing questions at your face and cameras shoved in front of you, asking what happened and why we're no longer like we were? It can get really full on. Then again, I'm one of those few people you can say I'm used to it. It's probably not a great thing that I can say that, to be honest it hurts a lot of people when I do, but it's the blunt and honest truth. I am used to the hate. But even now and again the hate gets to me... but you know, mama told me I should look upon the world with my head held high!

Back to the world of going to the supermarket though- I can just venture down to Tesco, head inside, grab my trolley and then ponder along the aisles, normally having all the time in the world to read the packets, read which item has a better value, and spend some time to myself, with only a few people actually coming up and speaking to me as the blonde one from Little Mix. At the supermarket, for the strangest reason I feel like I'm just another person, doing what I need to do.

Even when I was young, there was always an enjoyment of heading down to the supermarket with me Mam. Jonnie would push the trolley and I would sit on the front, having a free ride around whilst it was still acceptable for my age. Picking the treats we wanted in our lunch boxes and helping Mum rip off the plastic bags and then help her load the items onto the checkout counter when we had finished.

These days it's nice to just rest on the handle of the trolley and in a sense, glide around the aisles, grabbing what I need and just take in the families, couples and other people doing their shopping. Some in a rush and grabbing things quickly for that night's meal and some just shopping because they need to stock their cupboard, much like me.

Harry's party is tonight and I'm not extremley excited about it, but I'm a little bit curious to see what it'll be like. I'm also a little keen to get out there and have a dance with the girls. We haven't gone for a good party for a long time. My spirits have certainly been taken away a little. I can still have fun, especially with the girls and when I perform- but according to Louis 'the sunshine has dulled, the sea is grey'.

He then went on to explain that my presence normally would bring a whole load of sunshine and light to the room, I seemed to always light up a room, even when I was mad or upset. As for the sea is grey, my eyes that are normally a bright blue colour, aren't so blue anymore. I guess not only the girls and Louis want the sun and blue to return, but I kind of want them to return to and I know it's stupid but I think I know why it's gone and don't think I'm ever going to be able to get it back. But always have faith, even if it seems silly.