He Who Listen

Lily

It’s friday night and my favorite show just came on.. I’m so in shock can’t believe Rosalie has became an hexenbeast. The episode was just about to start when I hear Onna calling me. “LILY “LILY Hurry it’s mom. I run with no hesitation to see what’s going on. Onna is crying hysterically by now and mom’s sprawled across her bed with a pill bottle in her hand oh “Shyt” not again Onna call the abulance hurry!!! Onna dials 911 but just like every other time she can never stop crying to tell the dispatcher the issue so I simply grab the phone and explain that my mom have once again overdosed on her depression pills.

I know this times she not coming home after a couple days in the hospital because last time they told us if it was to happen again she’ll be at pine rest for a while. Our mom depression has gotten worse since are dad died in a car crash two years ago. Dad was doing a good job with trying to keep andrew off her mine. Andrew was mom’s first born and only boy he was killed at the age of 24 due to gang violence. I miss him so much he always looked out for his little sisters. Onna brings me back to reality yelling Lily what’s wrong with you ??? We have to hurry to the hospital mom’s going to want to see your face as soon as she wakes up.

Grabbing a overnight bag full with mom’s belonging we rush out the door in into my 2001 two door ford focus. I start to turn on the radio to kill the silence between me and Onna but she turns it off and say’s lily can I ask you a question. Sure bear what’s up ? Do you think mom knows what she’s doing to us - to me. Bear mom doesn't realize what she’s doing her depressions is taking a big toll on her health and mine. Lily you don’t understand everyone know that mom has tried to kill herself multiple times. At school they look at me as if I’m weird and have issues ,why couldn’t we stay in our old house? why couldn't I stay at hill side all my friends are there? Bear we’ve been over this plenty of times we couldn’t afford the house anymore andrews and dad money they left for us ran out.I don’t see why you don’t just call Louvie you know he’ll help us. “Shit” Onna I say raising my voice I’ve told you louvie is no good he is the reason why drew is dead now. I will only repeat this once do not bring him up again!! Onna looks at me with disappointment in her eyes I love my little sister to death but she will never understand why I hate jouvie so much nor do I feel like she should know. By the time we get to the hospital mom's wide awake and arguing with a nurse. Get off me I don't need your help she yells as we walk in the door. Mom chill she's only trying to help I reply hoping my voice will calm her down every since I left school to take care of her and Onna after my dad died she only listens to me and act like everyone else doesn't really exist or matter. 

Dr. bradfer enters the room and shakes my hand  and begin to ask me the same number of questions just like any other time.  How does she spends her days?  How many pills does she take for her depression normally? Lily don't you think it's time to have someone there 24/7 to make sure she doesn't try this again. I was there I reply to the last question quiet a little mad. He realize my blank expression and tone in my voice and changes his words around. Lily I mean like someone to help with her depression maybe a nurse of some sort I'm sure her Medicaid will cover it.  I take a deep breath and look to mom who is shaking her head at me. She's never liked doctors or hospital's  and swears her medicine makes her crazy anyways. Onna grabs mom hands and say, I think that'll be good for you mom please allow them to help at least give it a try I can't lose you also. With tears in her eyes mom nods her head implying that she'll give it a try.  I'm surprised that she agreed I'm even more shocked that doctor Bradfer didn't bring up pine rest this time knowing that last this happened he reassured me that her going there would probably be best. I guess he realize being at home with us will make her more comfortable.