Promise

22

"I'm sorry London." Taehyung said breaking the awkward silence. I texted him to meet me here, in this sorta abandoned park. I didn't want to bid goodbye over text. It was really cold and snowy. I was freezing. But I still needed to see him, I really need to see him, let it be for one last time. He was the medicine I needed for my heart. I held his cold hands into mine,
"So am I Taehyung. Well, Happy birthday to you Taehyung!" I rummaged my pockets to find a small gift box. I handed it to him,
"I know I am late. Your birthday would be up in half and hour. But still I want to give you these. It's not much you know? I could only save enough money for this in a year." I handed him the box and saw him sniff. His eyes were glowing. I chuckled a bit when he took the box from my hand. I crossed my fingers, what if he doesn't like what I gifted him. He looked at the box and looked at me, I shrugged,
"It's not much."
"Are you kidding me? It's Gucci!"
I chuckled. I can't believe that we had grown apart even when our hearts beat as one. I can't believe that I had to leave him. I can't believe that we were to choose separate paths when our destination was together. I slid my hands inside my pocket and found a small, thin bracelet that I made. I took his hand in mine and tied the bracelet,
"This is a promise bracelet. It's not good but that's all I could. With this bracelet I promise you that you shall always have a friend in me. With this bracelet I promise to you that I shall always be there when you need someone to talk to you. With this I promise to you that I would be there whenever you need comfort. I promise to you that whenever with me, I would help you be yourself. I would stick there with you in hardest of time, I promise. I swear I'm gonna whisper 'It's gonna be alright' when you need to hear it. I'm sorry for everything that I have done. I'm sorry for every lie I told. I'm sorry for ruining your birthday. I'm sorry for neglecting you." I sobbed as I hugged Taehyung tightly. As tight as possible. I inhaled sharply and breathed in his cologne as much as I can.
"London, it was my fault. I acted stupid. I was an idiot, a fool. I even hurt you. I don't think I even deserve you. When the idea that you were cheating on me struck me I felt as if I was falling into the deepest and darkest pits of hell. I didn't know what I was doing. I felt as if every single thing was mocking me, I looked at the mirror but my eyes only met a scorn loser. I could feel the bitterness take over me. And I behaved that way with you, ruined Christmas. I'm horrible. I'm glad we are parting ways, you deserve someone better than me. But you know what? My heart has stopped beating, and I've gotten used to it. I only hope the best for you. You are an amazing girl, you know how to make a person feel their best. You know how to calm a person. You know how to help a person dream. I would have loved being your friend. But I can't. I can't see you with someone else. It hurts me. So,  this ring here," Taehyung said as his voice shook and he slid his gucci ring from his finger to mine,
"Is gonna be my promise ring to you. I promise you that no matter what I would be there for you. I would stay with you like a thin mist of air. I promise you that I would go to any extent if you are even a bit hurt. And I promise to you that I would murder the person who hurts you even a bit."
I hugged him tight. I howled, placing my face at the crook of his neck,
"I feel so weak Taehyung. I feel as if stopping this moment. I don't know, how it feels. My heart feels numb. Without it, my heart stops. It hurts to say goodbye. Wish it was never to end. Wish I was never too sore to Love again. Wish I thought once before drinking this sweet poison of love. Its burning me, but still I'm yearning for more of it. Taehyung, I don't know what to feel, how to feel. I only have vague thoughts. I only have broken fragments of memories. And they all are indicating towards you."
"Shhh. Doll."
"Doll?"
Taehyung chuckled as a tear smoothly glided through his cheeks.
"Yes, tonight is gonna be the last time that I'm going to call you that right? I wish I could spin the clock back and fix every mistake we ever made."
"Tae... Can I ask for a gift, one last one?"
He smiled his boxy smile. It was forced. I know it.
"Taehyung, for the last time, would you kiss me?" Taehyung grabbed me by my waist and brought me closer. Our lips moved in sync. We were both crying. But we didn't want to stop. I wanted to hide every touch of his in the deepest corners of my heart. Isn't it weird? A week ago, I could have hugged him, kissed him without worrying to devour every single bit of it? His hands felt so good on my waist. How am I going to live without him?

Tonight, I was supposed to see if we can fix it or not. But I couldn't. Both of us were going to live under the impression that we are not good enough for each other. If only the thought that I was gonna leave didn't struck my mind, I would have kept my emotions aside. But if I'm going to leave, completely go out from his life, then why does it even matter? Atleast, we can be friends. Do I want to be his just friend? I always wanted to be a bit more than his lover, but I guess friendship was written in the cards for me.