All of a sudden I felt this weird feeling in my stomach. It was weird because I had never experienced it before, I liked it tho it was very comforting giving me goosebumps. As I was realizing what was actually happening I panicked. „I...I..I think I...
It was already 2pm and I was still in bed watching the movie "why him?" It was an usual slow day for me, but honestly not being able to kill the disgusting dude who tried to hit on me even tho I said no multiple times, fucked my whole mood up, because I had flashbacks to that day.
I guess he didn't know who he was dealing with, I was always smarter then my sister people knew my name but no one has seen me, unlike my stupid sister.
I honestly needed a day off, just for myself to relax and do nothing. I guess you can call it a self care day. And I needed a movie to make me laugh.
Usually I would get more frustrated because the new movies that were coming out were shit, but this movie was actually funny made me genuinely laugh even tho I haven't done that in a while.
I got up and went downstairs to eat something. It was bright and sunny today, just like I liked it. The big windows and skyline roof in my house, allowed the sun to be more present in my house.
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After I ate, I went up to my room to put on some bikini bottoms, so I could go for a swim in the pool, now that it was warm out.
I set the temperature of the water in the pool at 86 degrees fahrenheit because I didn't like it when the water was cool. It reminded me of what he did to me...
I was going to therapy for about 3 months now and it helped a lot. It's easier for me to talk about my trauma now, and there aren't many things that still trigger me, but the cold water still does.
I have been working on myself for the past months now. It has gotten better, I didn't know how important self love is.
For the past 7 years I have hated myself. I thought it was my fault, but I have realized it isn't. I have learned to love myself, be kind to myself and my body.
As I got in the pool I looked at my house, I was to thankful for everything I have, but I sometimes forget that I didn't show much live to my house. It almost made me feel like I wasn't appreciating it.
I have my dream house and my dream life, I wanted to make my younger self proud. I am pretty sure I did.
I wanted to prove my mom that you don't need a man in your life to save you. You can do it too! Everything I had was because I was very stubborn and because of myself.
I have given myself my dream life, without any help. You can do it too. :)
Men are like accessories. They are beautiful, but you don't need them.
I am honestly so thankful I bought this house it's beautiful and that fact that it's hidden in the hills makes me like it even more.
———————————————————————— Author's note I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter. What trauma do you believe she has experienced? More to come! :)
