Eccedentesiast

Elementary

Hiraeth. A home sickness for a place that one has never been, or doesn't even exist. It's my mom's favorite word. She even named me after it. My name is Hiraeth Waylon. I'm 14 years old, I like Harry Potter, and my favorite color is blue. I'm no one special. There's nothing interesting about me. I guess you could say that I'm just a normal teenager. Except for the fact that I have literally no friends and I suffer from anxiety and depression. No one knows that I'm depressed. I don't even if I am. But I feel like it. I feel so empty and unmotivated to do anything. Even the simplest task make me exhausted. Most days I stay in bed all day. I just watch YouTube and eat junk food. Some days I don't eat anything. Every once and while I'll get out of bed and go in my living room, until one of my family members upsets me. I used to love spending time with my family. But now I just feel uncomfortable around them for some reason. I used to have a lot of friends too. I would always hang out with them and I was always so happy. But I guess when we left Elementary school we all went out separate ways. Most of my old friends still talk to each other. None of them talk to me though. My mom always says that I need to just get out there and talk to them, and that they still want to be my friends. Trust me. I've tried to talk to them, and they did talk to me too. But they are all so different now. They are happy, just like they used to be, but I guess our energy just didn't match anymore. Probably because I don't really care about anything anymore and I've just given up on everyone. I give people one chance, if they hurt me once then it's over. It's not like I have trust issues, because there's not really a reason for me to have them. But ever since seventh grade I've just stopped talking to everyone. I don't want to be friends with anyone at my school, but I just wish that they would talk to me so that I didn't have to seem so weird and lonely all the time. I don't know. I guess this is where I need to be in my life right now. Everything does happen for a reason, and everyone always tells me it will get better in high school and that high school will be the best years of my life. But I don't believe that. Nothing can beat my years in elementary school. I was popular, had a lot of friends, I was Vice President of the school. Yeah, I already know that I'm gonna hate high school.