Broken Mage

The Abandonment

Laxus buried himself in mountains of paperwork, trying to distract his mind from Lucy's outburst earlier. Outburst... he scoffed, she literally just broke it off with him and stormed off. Laxus sighed dejectedly, removing his reading glasses and rubbed his eyes, then massaged his temple. Was that a blunder? Was she said that just because of the situation? Did she really mean that? Millions of thoughts ran through his mind and none of them were even as close as comforting.

Laxus sighed again, putting his glasses back on. He didn't even have half the energy to throw a tantrum, he was just so... bummed out. What Lucy said—no, what Lucy stated, might as well be knocking air out of his lungs. Words just failed him at that time, though his heart kept the same rhythmic, it was strangely quiet and beat normally, but he could feel something was wrong: something odd and heavy. He didn't know how to describe the feeling, it was like his stomach was churning in a nasty way and he felt like throwing up.

He was a jerk for saying those things, was he? Laxus felt like regretting everything he said to her—no, not "what" he said but "how" he said it. Because for Laxus, families are the one thing that he treasures so much. So, he didn't feel like what he said was wrong. Granted, he should've been gentler with how he put it. He regretted to have pushed her like that. How could he be so thoughtless? But still, how could Lucy just up and gave it all up? It didn't sit well with him, how after all her effort, she just decided to give up. Aquarius was her family, for god sake! As much as he wanted to understand her reasons behind all that, he just couldn't make it sense. only she knew how terrible the feeling he was once felt.

With another sigh, Laxus absentmindedly flipping over the documents in his hands. Giving them stamps and occasionally signature on them. Gramps would lose it if he saw Laxus do this, but he didn't care one bit. His thoughts were too packed to even care. His foot was tapping on the wood floor anxiously, making a creaking sound on the already worn out wood floor.

Laxus couldn't shake off the icky feelings. Of course, he was so heartbroken because of what Lucy said and he refused to accept that as it was. However, there were this bitterness and frustration inside him, eating him away bits by bits. Feelings that he knew exactly where it came from. From the start, Laxus has rejected the thought every time it resurfaced, and it became a constant bother since their fight: that for Lucy, their relationship only serves as a mere distraction.

Yes, it was a bit harsh for him to think about that and it wasn't like he didn't trust her or haven't a complete faith in her. In any case, it was just a fleeting thought. Just a sense of doubt that was becoming stronger after their fight. He really didn't want to believe it as he still has complete faith in Lucy. But Laxus couldn't help but feel scared. What else could explain their fast development? True, there was a thing such as love at first sight that perhaps could make things progressed fast. However, theirs weren't that of love at first sight. Heck, he could still remember how distant Lucy was at that time. Well, not that he objected or anything. Laxus was more than happy with their fast development. Ever since Lucy showed her vulnerability and confided in him, pouring out all of her troubles, Laxus have had the urges to protect her no matter what.

He saw her as this little whimpering puppy who needed love and affection—maybe calling her a puppy was pushing it, but that's not the point. More than that, he saw loneliness—no, he felt the loneliness inside her, devouring her light and her warmth little by little. He saw the eyes of someone who was desperate and close to give it all away. No longer did he see the shine that once shone in her eyes that full of determination. Blank, lifeless stare was all he could see that he felt a tug in his heart. Since then, she was all he could think about. He just wanted to be beside her, he wanted to bring her smile back and most importantly, the shine in her eyes. It wasn't a matter of whether he like her or that she made him interested. It's just that he really wanted to be by her side. Although, falling for her was inevitable. How could he not, when she suddenly let her guard down the morning after she told him the truth. And that smile, oh that fleeting yet genuine smile that she showed him. Albeit, it was because of his clumsiness, if it was going to make her smile at him, then he'll be clumsy any day and any time. Though he came up with it on the spot, he was glad that he asked her for a date.