Ms.Bully

22

When I return home it's trashed even worse than before. I drop my bag at the door. "What the hell!" I gasp still out of breath from running "Dad?" I yell as I walk in further to see A puddle of puke on the ground. The furniture had a few cuts on it and there were dents in the walls. I run down the hall jumping over the puddle. "Dad?! Where are you?" I yell peeking into his room there was glass on the ground and he was nowhere to be found. I check the rest of the house. I find his phone on the bathroom floor. "I give up," I say to myself. Whatever drug they gave him was still active in his system. I don't know where he is or where he went. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of trying to fix everything. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be, messy and in disarray. I kick the shards of broken mug away out of the way before sitting down on the couch.
Everything all scattered around like a 'Where's Waldo' puzzle book. I don't want to do this anymore. It's easier to start something new than follow through and complete what's already been started. I hold my head in my hands. "I just want to feel free," I murmur to myself. Even just for a moment where there is nothing to sway my truth. I let out a sigh as I reach in my pocket for my phone. "Did something happen?! You haven't been answering my text." Raul rushed out. I pull the phone away from my ear for a second. This is exactly why I didn't answer. After my eardrums recovered I put the phone back to my ear. " Have you seen my dad?" I ask looking down at my feet. "No, I thought you were supposed to meet him yesterday," he said "Oh ok," I said tiredly ready to hang up "Did something happen?" he asked I scratch my eyebrow. "Just tell me if he comes by," I said before quickly hanging up. I don't know what made me feel like there was no rush in finding him. Though he probably is a danger to himself and many others right now, I feel no urgency. Maybe it's because he hit me, and he's never done that before. He was a good father for the most part and we didn't talk much but soon as he is violent something not fully in his control I felt like discarding him like pre-popped bubble wrap. I don't want to blame him since I have an idea who did this to him. I don't want to be involved with the Morales family it's bad enough I know Annabella. I just want to forget her existence, sometimes even my own. Somehow I feel...no I know this happened to him because of me. I wished I never liked her, never wished to be her friend. Under her like a dog seeking approval. Shouldn't have her an inch since she ended up taking a mile. From me, she took more than I thought I had. I missed a lot of things she took. I missed my stability.

You ever just want to give up? Here's an idea...just walk into an alley and ask a mysterious distributor of any foreign substances that they say will take your pain away with a free needle. But it's never really free. It's an experience during a night that you'll vaguely remember. You hope that the substance would have an effect that makes you feel better. Something that stops you from thinking about your horrid condition, your pitiful situation. But it's underwhelming, it makes this false reality that barely keeps you afloat. And it doesn't feel real anymore. The substance makes this illusion of normal that you don't understand. And once you come down from your mild high you're never ready for the repercussions.

"Ugh" I groan sitting up wiping the sweat from my face. I turn my head to the snoring body next to me. Some beautiful woman whose name I don't know and in a huge room I don't remember walking into. I look down at the blankets covering my naked body. I feel a spike of panic rise before realizing I wasn't where I thought I was. "What happened again?" I ask myself trying to remember. My head and my stomach were aching. I peel the blanket off of me. The smell of sweat and many other things hit my nostrils. I swing my legs over the side of the bed "Ah, What the fuck is this?" I say look down lifting my foot to see a condom stuck to it. Eww, what did I do? "Come back to bed, Lee." I heard a seductive voice say. I felt arms wrap around my back. What was this woman's name? I felt her breast press against my back as she leaned and kiss my neck. "Don't leave, she'll find you," she whispered in my ear. "Who?" I say peeling the condom from my foot. "That Annabella girl," she said hugging me from behind. Shit, what exactly did I tell her? "I'm, sorry I can't remember...your name," I said guiltily. "That's ok baby," she assured running her hand through my hair. It was strangely calming. "It's Athena," she said still brushing her hand through my hair. I lean my head back onto her. "That's a pretty name," I say looking at her long curly dark brown hair draped over my shoulder. "Yeah, my parents loved Greek myths. They were nerds." she chuckled I smiled to myself. "Lee baby, I know your hurt but don't go doing drugs again. Just come talk to me when you feeling overwhelmed. I'll even hide you from the angry masses." she offered I turned around to look at her feeling this was my first time having a good look at her. She was beautiful...breathtaking even. I can pretend I don't have any idea why I walked down that alley but I know was looking for an escape route. Something that I was not going to get with a drug.
"I just didn't know what to do at the time. When sex didn't work I went to drugs once and that was enough. It didn't erase anything as I deluded myself into thinking it would. And when it came down to it the thing I was most afraid of was being an inconvenience to someone." I say looking away from her. She grabbed my face. "Honey, your not an inconvenience, at least not to me. I'm here when you need me as long as you don't go back to trying drugs in the alleyways," she said looking into my eyes. "Promise me you won't ever do that again," she said I nod my head as tears gather ready to fall. "I promise," I said "Come here, baby." she cooed as I leaned into her hug my head resting on her chest. It was soothing and in a weird way motherly. Something I had never experienced before since I never had a mother to cry to. My father was always Stone-faced so there was no squeezing emotion out of him. Athena was the type of support I never knew I needed. She said words I needed to hear to assure me I wasn't useless. She was older than me but it didn't show anywhere on her body. She wore her age in her attitude and the way she took care of me. "What day is it?" I ask my head still resting on her. "Saturday."She announced her hand brushed through my curls as her voice vibrated through her body. "I would love to cuddle with you for longer but...I'm kinda sticky," she sweetly. I feel my face heat up as I pull back. "Oh sorry," I say embarrassed she just flashes a grin and gets off the bed. I shamelessly watch her slim yet curvy figure as she walks away. Once I hear the water of the shower cut on I rise from the bed. I remove the blanket from the bed looking for my phone, my clothes, anything related to me. Where are my clothes? I raise my hands on top of my head. "Did I leave it at home?" I murmur to myself
I didn't remember walking down the street naked but then again didn't remember much of anything. I just waited on the bed till she returned from the shower. "What's got you lost in thought?" she asked as she dressed. "Was I naked when you met me?" I asked genuinely confused. She chuckled "No but you puked on the both of us." I cover my face mortified. Never again will I do drugs. "Don't worry they're in the dryer. Your phone is probably on top of the dryer or the floor somewhere," she said. "Why would it be on the floor?" I questioned skeptically about what happened last night. "You were rushing me and I was a bit tipsy so we fell a bit. So full of energy." she giggled. Me? full of energy? I think I have embarrassed myself enough for a week. "Can I use the shower?" I ask as she put on her shoes. "Go ahead," she said she watched me as I walked into the bathroom. It was huge. There were shelves everywhere and a huge mirror that reflected the glass shower door. I grab two towels from the shelves and take a shower. I didn't think I could feel so at home away from home. I walk out of the bathroom towel around my waist with the steam not far behind me. "I see you enjoyed yourself," Athena said laying across the bed on her with a smile plastered on her face. The sheets had been changed. "Yeah, it was calming," I say walking over to her. She sets my clothes in front of me. I grab my underwear and turn away from her as I put them on. "You're so shy." she giggles poking my butt. I jump and quickly pull my underwear up. "Here, make sure to call me," she said handing me my phone. "I will," I say grabbing it from her. I check my message still standing in front of her. I feel her staring at me. "Can you stop staring at it?" I flush self-conscious "What? You stared at my butt when I was walking but I didn't say anything." she teased. I quickly grab my jogging pants and turn away while putting them on. "You're so cute," she whispered in my ear. I felt a tingling down my spine as my ears grew red. I jerk my head away "Stop teasing me." I pout grabbing my shirt. "No can do." she smiled falling back onto the bed. "I got to go to the studio soon. Are you staying? I could get the cook to whip you up something." she asked rolling off the bed. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to go home somewhere I didn't feel safe there anymore. I did want to stay in this big house with Athena who was a stranger. But she made me feel safe and comfortable. "I'll stay." I declare "Good choice." she said kissing my forehead.