Killing Crown | Tododeku

Chapter 7: Circumstances

Todoroki couldn't help but feel nervous. His palms were sweaty with a creeping anxiety. Izuku was ahead of him, keeping a steady pace. The sounds of their footsteps bounced off the empty hallways as they made their way to his chamber. Todoroki watched Izuku from behind, he possessed a unique stride. The way his hips swayed in a gentle pattern, and how each step he took was so careful-- if he were to make one wrong move, the ground would shatter underneath him. The more he watched him, the more Todoroki struggled to take his eyes off of him. Though the surrounding silence held tension, he felt at peace staring at the young boy.

    With one more dissipating echo, they stopped in front of Izuku's chamber. His fingers wrapped around the knob as he twisted the door open. It made a loud creaking noise as he took his time to fully open it.

    As he entered the room, he could see everything was spotless. There wasn't a trace of uncleanliness in sight. As he took his time to inspect the room thoroughly, he saw the many books Izuku owned. The fictional and nonfiction books were separated carefully on the bookshelf. Books about the planet resided on the top shelf while books containing adventure and fantasy stayed at the bottom. By the windowsill Todoroki could see the many flowers there. They all rested in old glass bottles filled with water. The sunlight beaming off of their colorful petals.

    "Come Todoroki, sit" Izuku instructed. Todoroki obliged and sat down on that chair Izuku had offered for him. Izuku took a seat right in front of him. Now, they face each other, only being separated by a small wooden table. The silence weighed heavy amount them. Todoroki swallowed the lump in his throat. He, too, could see that Izuku was nervous, they both took their time to mentally prepare themselves.

    Izuku breathed in and let out a long sigh. He looked at Todoroki, his eyes softened with an emotion Todorkoi couldn't figure out. The look in his eyes sent Todoroki in a panic, he wasn't able to tell if what Izuku was going to tell him was good or bad.

    "Todoroki, the truth is that this was all a sham" he admitted. Confusion washed over him. He opened his mouth to speak and closed to wait for Izuku to finish speaking. "Me and Uraraka, we're both in love with someone. Our plan was to marry each other, so we wouldn't have to worry about the death penalty. While we have the kingdom convinced that we're both happily in love we will return to our true lovers" he explained.

    Although the anxiety of Izuku getting married had disappeared, the idea of his other lover killed any budding hopes within Todoroki. He knew that if he asked any further it would break him even more, but curiosity betrayed him. "Your lover... who are they?" he inquired.

    Izuku flinched and looked down at his hands. He fiddled his thumbs nervously. "Well to be honest with you, they're not my official lover, but I do hope that I could have a possible relationship with them" he conceded. A small spark of hope appeared in Todoroki's chest. Though Izuku was in love, he hadn't completely lost yet. "Your lover-- or crush I might say, what are they like?" Todoroki asked.

    A light blush spread across Izuku's cheeks, he used his floppy hair to his advantage and covered his face with it. He was embarrassed, Todoroki couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed that the reason for this reaction wasn't because of him, but another person. "My c-crush... well they're something that's for sure" he let a small chuckle escape his lips, "First, they're beautiful, their smile is rare but like a big treasure. You search for hours and when you're finally able to find it, it's one of your greatest accomplishments. Whenever I see them I get a warm feeling throughout my whole body, it's electric. It's like they've cast a spell on me by just making eye contact. They've brightened up my life more than they know, and when the time comes, I want to be able to tell them that with my whole heart. I would give up my entire kingdom to be with them."

    Todoroki was appalled. Izuku had spoken in such an affectionate tone that Todoroki never even heard before. He spoke with such emotion Todoroki thought he might melt. Although Todoroki was able to relate to these feelings and empathize with them, he knew that these words of kindness and love did not belong to him. He knew he stood no chance against this mystery lover, but he couldn't let his feelings go unsaid.

    He stood up from his place in the chair to face Izuku. Izuku, with his head still covered by his green locks, looked up at Todoroki, his face completely pink. Todoroki took a long breath and kneeled in front of Izuku. He gently caressed his fingers and carefully placed Izuku's hands inside of his.

    "Izuku, this is such bad timing, and this is not at all how I wanted this confession to look like" he braced himself, "Izuku, you may already have someone in your heart, and I'm sure you love them very much, but while this confession is for you, it also belongs to me. I'd rather get over my sadness now then wallow in my misery forever by letting these words go unsaid. Izuku, I'm in love with you, I love everything about you, I love the way you try to hold in your laugh before letting go, I love the way you try to cover your face when you're clearly embarrassed. Just everything about you is stunning, you have made my hellish life bearable for me these past few months. Even if you reject me I'll be forever grateful". The words gracefully left his lips. Each sentence laced with as much fondness as possible. He was finally able to put these strong feelings of love into words. He felt as if a long enduring stress had finally left his chest.

Izuku looked shocked, his eyes were so wide they looked like they might pop out of his head. Todoroki could feel his hands shaking inside of his. Todoroki held them firmly, so they would stay steady, so Izuku could stay steady. Still looking at the ground, Izuku spoke, "Todoroki I- really wasn't expecting this you know. This is not how this was going to go at all" he said.

Todoroki took one of his hands away from his tight grip to cup Izuku's face gently. His hand attentive, wiping away the small tears rolling down Izuku's face. Todoroki stared at him lovingly, hiding the heartbreak behind his eyes. "Todoroki... this is bad timing" he giggled softly. Todoroki couldn't help but laugh as well. He stared at the boy trying to compose himself again. Izuku took away his hand to wipe away a couple of tears on his face.

"Todoroki, i'm so sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." he sobbed. "I love you dearly but now's not the right time for us. I do hope you stay alongside me as a companion. I'm sorry I can't return the love that you feel for me" he mumbled. The sound of his cries held pure anguish. He had never heard Izuku this painfully conflicted before.

    Todoroki closed his eyes, he let the soft weeps of Izuku ring through his ears. They crashed against his head like gentle waves. He removed his grip off of Izuku's hand, feeling the sudden loss of affection as he pulled away. It took everything in his power not to cry in front of him. He couldn't let Izuku see how much of a mess he was. He knew what Izuku's answer would be, that doesn't mean it still hurt any less. With his feelings now out and open to the world he stared at Izuku. Even while he was crying, he was beautiful, they were beautiful, a beautiful disaster fated for misery.

"Izuku, why are you crying, if anything I should be crying" he giggled. Izuku looked at him, his emerald eyes were filled with sadness.

"Then why don't you?" he hiccuped. Todoroki shook his head dismissively.

"Trust me, I would be crying my eyes out right now, but I'm trying to be strong for you" he murmured. He wiped another tear off of Izuku's cheek. If only removing sadness was as easy as wiping a tear away, Todoroki would eliminate all of Izuku's grief.

"Izuku, as much as I love you, I want you to be loved, by someone special. I want your future lover to treat you to all the riches in the world, I want them to give you all the affection and attention you desire. I may not be able to be the one who gives you comfort, but just knowing that you're happy gives me the greatest content" he said as he gently stroked Izuku's hair.

He brushed Izuku's messy green curls out of his face as he embraced him in a lasting hug.

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Hello! I haven't written in a while. Im currently working on another fan fiction so I kind of used this chapter as a warm up. If it's overly cheesy, I apologize i've been reading a lot of romance lately :,) If you have any questions about the story or for me feel free to dm me! You can also follow my twitter @incelcat_