I Am Keeley

Chapter 16: I Promise

Please read the author's note at the end.

Keeley's POV

I sat straight up in bed supported by a mound of blankets and pillows with Gus next to me. The room was darkened as the sun had gone down, but the yellow light of my bedside lamp illuminated the area around me. It was snowing.

I was captivated by the little white flurries as they fell slowly, little by little covering the earth in their powdery white blanket. My back was killing me and every time I moved I felt it spasm.

I mean, let's just be honest: today was utter shit. Brady completely messed my back up and the painkillers were doing no help. Russo had told me to be on bed rest for the next two weeks, but if that happens, I will most definitely lose what little is left of my sanity. And Aubrey... she left. She wanted to know why and not how. She wanted me to be open with her about my life and she wanted me to tell her things I wasn't comfortable with. Do I blame her? Not really. If it was her being secretive and disappearing for a couple of days without notice and coming back hurt, I'd want to know too.

I've called her eight times and sent her about twenty different messages, but each time there is no answer. I tried with Alex and Xavier too, but they won't talk to me either. The only friends I've ever made on my own were gone. Sure, Alice and Lexi and Dylan were my friends, but they were living the same hell I was and we needed each other. We were friends because we had no one else. But Aubrey and the guys, we were friends because we chose to be. I wanted them to know who I was without my history and the problems that followed me, but I guess just me wasn't enough for them.

I glanced at my bedside table where a pile of envelopes sat. I reached my hand out and winced in pain as I grabbed them and set them on my lap. I hadn't gotten the chance to read my birthday cards yet, and I could use a bit of cheering up.

I gently picked up the first purple envelope with "Munch" scribbled across the front. I knew immediately that it was Nick's from the scratchy handwriting.

Munch,

Today you turned eighteen. It seems like only yesterday I watched as you took your first steps across the wooden floor of our obnoxiously large house. You had on your diaper and your white hair was standing straight up as you walked right into my arms.
You may not know, Keeley, as I do not show it often, but I do love you. Words can not explain how sorry I am for how you grew up and all that you have had to go through. I can't promise you that there won't be days without arguing, without pain, without worries, but I can promise you that you won't have to go through it by yourself anymore. 
You being home again has made us all happy and the warmth that left five years ago is back again. Never stop pushing yourself to do better. Always hold the love that is hidden behind your rough exterior close to your heart. And always know that you are the best thing to ever happen in my life.

I love you,
Nick

I didn't realize that I was crying until one of my tears hit the card. Nick's words hit me right in the gut. I don't cry, I rarely do, but Nick's card hit something in me and the tears came faster. I cried because I'm hurting, I cried because I lost my friends, and I cried because Nick loves me. Nick loves me as I love him, and that feeling of relief is the greatest feeling. I thought back to what I said earlier and how maybe just me wasn't enough. But you know what? If Nick can love me and my rough exterior, knowing all that he does, hell, I am enough.

A small smile appeared on my face as I sniffed and wiped away the last few tears. I closed the card and gently slid it back into the envelope. Pretty sure that I would cry again if I were to read another, I sat the pile of cards next to me on the bed.