Empress Handbook

Chapter Thirty-Seven | Melting

The long process fades past Yeoreum's mind like a blur, with the medications pumping through her veins. But no matter how torturous the physical pain is, her sorrow overweighs everything.

For once in Yeoreum's life, she calmly lets a needle into her flesh. All her anxieties and sorrows have been dedicated to the little life that is pending to be delivered, dead.

Yeoreum dumbly follows the midwives' instructions to adjust her breathing and push. Because of how small the foetus is, the doctor told her no cuts would be made, and her body would suffer an incredibly minuscule amount of harm, just as if Sowon never existed in the first place.

Soon, the medical staff collectively heaves a sigh of relief, followed by an unnatural silence. There are no cries, no cheers, and no muffled urges for the midwife to bring the baby closer. The only colour in the room seems to be the blood dripping from the ghastly peaceful baby.

The doctor wipes the baby clean and swaddles a clean cream blanket around the small body that is the same length as a regular twenty-centimetre ruler. Taehyung takes the child from the doctors' hands and signals for them to leave.

Taehyung timorously slides his finger down Sowon's rosy cheek, which is covered in a soft, downy layer of hair. Sowon looks like she is about to wake up any minute. But as Taehyung reaches her motionless nostrils, his fleeting sentiment gets crushed into a blunt pain in his chest.

"Do you want to see Sowon?" Taehyung says gently.

Yeoreum nods and takes the baby with the careful gesture Doctor Lee previously taught her. She was warned that the baby might cry when it first enters a pair of foreign arms, so she'll need to hold it as close to her chest as possible to tell the baby that she is there is care for it. Following that advice, Yeoreum gently pats Sowon's back and draws the small child next to her chest, but instead of the thrashes she was taught to deal with, there is absolute silence.

"Sowon," Yeoreum says like she is scared she will startle her unexcitable daughter. She clasps the small, delicate fingers still curled in a fist and carefully shakes them with a smile twitching at the corners of her pale lips. "I'm mum. It's nice to meet you."

———

Pearl Palace, the place once filled with joy and excitement for the arrival of a new life, has now been washed by a bleak, icy desolation.

It has been three days since Sowon left. But Yeoreum still feels as if something is budding at her core. Unlike before, it is no longer a lively sensation that energises her to push her limits. A devastating feeling of guilt and bitterness has spread across Yeoreum, trapping her in a cage rendered of her own flesh.

Yeoreum almost feels enraged over the fact that though she can sit and watch the sun appear and wane, Sowon never had the opportunity to feel nature's warmth.

"I have given you the next two months to rest, so please take your time. I also plan to take a month off to look after you."

Yeoreum shakes her head. "No, Taehyung, it's okay. Your mother suffered a reputation loss after what I released, and her plan has been temporarily obstructed, but you still can't relax your defences. If you take a month off, your mother can easily do something bad without you noticing."

Taehyung sits down next to her and caresses her cheek. "You're right, thank you for being so understanding," he utters.

As Yeoreum meets Taehyung's gaze, which always seems to reserve a look of acceptance and kindness for her, the frail mask she has been trying to hold with gritted teeth collapses. Yeoreum buries her face in Taehyung's arms, weeping.